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Your writing style is easy to read. The writing isn't your problem. Perhaps the problem is more related to the content of the story.

Hmm... I'm seeing a pattern. Thread replies that don't address the topic or are provocative are automatically deleted. Does SHF have a mechanism for checking answer relevance, or are they simply deleted by moderators?

I haven't read chapter 9 in its entirety, just checking your chapter format. Why do you use short paragraphs (1 paragraph = 1 sentence)? For some readers, this format can be distracting. It's best to format paragraphs with 3-5 sentences per paragraph for ease of reading. Please read the...

New writers often write according to their own desires and ignore the reading experience. I'm not surprised by your giant paragraphs. Some writers also write so poetically that readers don't even know what they're talking about. Well, the writing of new writers can actually be an interesting...

This isn't feedback, but your fiction isn't showing up on the author profile page. Your account status is still a member, not an author. Try seeking help with your fiction's visibility issues. Note: Your fiction genres are not my cup of tea. I'm not reviewing it, more out of personal preference.

This is the risk you face if you misplace your thread. You should place your thread in the feedback section if you want feedback from other authors. If you're releasing your fiction, place it in the latest chapter section. Remember not to place threads carelessly.

Rewriting old chapters rarely provides instant engagement. But, rewriting old chapters is also an effective learning tool to improve narrative skills. You're forced to read the old chapter, analyze its narrative structure, evaluate it, and write concrete solutions. You will understand the gaps...

Good, keep going! Don't stop along the way! Writing fiction can be a great way to learn narrative. Don't hesitate to rewrite if necessary.

Why not use an adaptive POV approach? Each POV should be tailored to the needs of the story, rather than forcing it to use one. For example, if you want the reader to feel emotionally connected to the protagonist's inner state in an introspective scene, first POV is more appropriate because...

Reader Tolerance in Principle of "Show it, Don't Tell it" in Narrating Scene Elements In fiction writing, we are familiar with the principle of "show it, don't tell it", which involves the reader in the story (immersion). However, in practice, almost no fiction can apply this principle...

I just realized... your username is based on the name of your fictional world. Good job. Now I'm not alone. :blob_melt:

No, that's not what I meant, dude. The adult genre is usually used for fiction containing sexual content, just a level below the smut genre, NSFW. If you use it incorrectly, your fiction could lead readers to misunderstand the genre and be disappointed. If you want adult-rated content without...

Out of the question, but I haven't even considered a galactic government in a fantasy scenario. Something as simple as interstellar communication is nearly impossible. Radio waves take tens, even thousands of years to reach the nearest star. It doesn't make sense scientifically, at least not...

First, I will call @Zinless to move your thread to the feedback section. (Sorry troublesome, dude). Second, a short question ... Why do you use the Adult genre if it doesn't provide warning trigger? What is the meaning of the adult genre in your fiction?

The answer is yes, but I have different priorities. I prioritize the main series because it's the center of the story's universe.

Dude... you call 2.7k words a rough draft?! The average casual reader won't even be able to read your chapter to the end unless they're hooked from the start.

The Tapas market is pretty niche, dude. If you're aiming for a broader market, RR and WN are more open and exclusive with few restrictions.

I don't know. You know your work better. Personally, I always put myself in the reader's shoes when reading fiction. So, if I feel like I can't 'live' in the story, I'll ask why the narrative has a narrative distance? From there, I'll start analyzing and then criticizing the cause. Now...