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I had to wait for 2 hours on something that should've only taken 2 minutes just earlier. And it's not my fault. That's the time it usually takes me to write a whole chapter. Or one and a half if smut. So now I'm mildly infuriated.

I am curious about how long this thread will live. Cause I made a feedback thread a while ago, and did actually review all of the requests. But I think I might have done the feedbacks rather carelessly, so now no one bothers to post their work on there anymore. :sweat_smile:

It's not the first sentence. No sane reader would judge your entire work after reading only one sentence. Unless it's really cringe. It's the first several paragraph if short, and the whole first chapter or even more if long. Conclusion? Just get good. People will read if it's good.

There is a Korean novel with a concept similar to this. Protagonist controlled a female hero in a game and defeated the demon king, thus saving the world. But, that game world is actually a real world, and the goddess of that world just made the protagonist feel like he was playing a game. This...

Reading anything more than 3000 for me is very tedious. So I think between 1000-2000 is optimal.

Jesus Christ. Never thought I'd see this on here of all places. Make me remember the time I took the IELTS test.

I mean, I don't think a lot of yuri enjoyer would want to see MxF. Me included. I don't know, just add a bi tag to it?

I read all three chapters. It was good. Really good. Your grammar is perfect, your storytelling is also artistic and coherent. I have nothing to complain. Keep up the good work!

There is originality. Just, nobody would read/watch it, because it would be too niche. There is a reason why clichés are clichés. People like it.

I read both chapters. It was... Fine? Aside from some occasional grammar mistakes here and there (Minor), the narrative is interesting enough. Ultimately, it was too short for me to give more opinion on this. Good luck on writing though.

I put them in my neighbor's house, and then burn them. There might be bombs inside, after all. You never know.

I read the first chapter. Much like this thread, it's janky. Firstly, the conversations between characters were awkward, they didn't feel real, is what I should say. Secondly, you clumped all the dialogues of different characters together in long paragraphs, it's confusing. Thirdly, you were...

Seems interesting. My DC username is 'kalliel_d'.

Girls, and yuri.

Get the hell out of my way, I need sleep.

It's interesting, as I've said before, I have no complain about your work. I could see this being a good romance novel. I don't normally read rom-com though, so I can't give a detailed analysis or anything.

If you actually want to do this, I have a few things to say. We ain't got nothing to tell about the protagonist, it has negative personality. So you might have to dwell into side characters more, and then the protagonist would not feel like a protagonist at all. Which is not ideal, to say the...

The start was alright, I have nothing in particular to complain. But it's too soon to judge. Only one chapter. So yeah, got nothing to say.

I will. I read the first chapter. It was like a fever dream. Aside from your abominable grammar, it felt like you were writing a report, not a story. No dialogue whatsoever, things happening faster than I could blink. It just reads poorly. My advice for you is to try and read more first, fix...

Exactly.