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So, I just read the first three chapters. To the goods first. Your premise is pretty solid, I do feel genuinely curious about the world inside your work. No info dumps, pretty easy to follow. Now, onto the not goods. Firstly, here we can see yet another victim of the awkward word placement...

I'll be very quick here, you lost me in the first chapter. First, too much unnecessary details being described. You're trying too hard describing every details imaginable. Second, I didn't really understand what was going on, until I read the synopsis, confusing. So, I would recommend cutting...

So, I just read the first three chapters. Now, onto the nitpicks first, because why not. Firstly, you forgot to capital your characters twice in the first chapter. And there's a few grammar mistakes here and there as well. Secondly, here you can see another victim of the awkward word placement...

A very perverted witch going around trying to F magical girls, sometimes seducing them to get them to F her as well, and that's it. Really.

So, I'm bored. And I think I need to actually read something sometimes to take a break from my writing. That means, If you're brave enough to post stories here, I will try to read the first chapters of your work (Usually 5 maximum), and give you very janky reviews. Keep in mind, I am both a bad...

Bad, but if you can ignore it, then the whole story is very interesting. For me, at least.

Probably, his crime is writing an actually interesting story and abandoning it. I normally cringe when I see bad grammar in a story, including my own. But somehow I still enjoyed every bit of that story despite it having horrendously choppy grammar and sentencing.

Magical Girls are the Best Toys Sadly the author got executed or something, so it's not finished. Regardless, give it a try.

I activate my portals, one receiving his fist, the other one aiming the output towards his crotch. Usually you wouldn't do this, because if you're inexperienced, whatever body parts that your put in could be destroyed or lost entirely due to the weird space-time phenomena that are happening...

I still did, which was great.

I was tripping there, it's been a while since I've finished them, only the latter one got restricted on the smut I believe, the author had to cut quite a lot of scenes.

[The Eldest Martial Sister Gave Up Treatment.] This one is super fun, I straight up binged more than a thousand chapters of this instead of preparing for the most important exam of my life. [I was Reincarnated as a Side Heroine in a Yuri Game, and with all my Power I will Protect my Favorite...

I only use 3rd when it's a big fighting scene, or, when I don't really want to know a character's thought.

For me, it's mostly about the tenses, I don't know a single thing about grammar or structures or anything, so it's pretty weird.

To anyone using light mode reading this, I'm disappointed in you.

I'm using 1st present as well, which sometimes is kinda tricky to write.

For me, reading in 3rd POV can sometimes break my immersion, so I wrote most of my story in 1st.