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Well, in terms of storytelling, your narrative is quite solid. You apply the principle of "show it, don't tell it" quite well. This narrative is already quite good above average for a web novel, even reaching the level of a light novel ready for publication. But if you want to make your...

In line with the question above, I'd like to hear your thoughts. There are no right or wrong answers here, just sharing your opinions.

Whatever prose that you develop, it's best to focus on your story. Avoid purple prose, prose that's overly flowery, poetic, or full of metaphors, to the point where the reader can't understand your scenes.

I felt like Deron was awkward at the beginning of the chapter. He was portrayed identity confusion (amnesia, perhaps?). But midway through the chapter, he somehow adapted to the other bandits as if he knew them well (or did). If Deron (or whoever the possessing soul was) had truly lost his...

Dude, honestly... I'm having a hard time visualizing your scenes. Your narrative is full of verbs piled up in a compound sentence. Honestly, this is very tiring for me as a causal reader. I assumed you were narrating the scene through compound sentences with multiple verbs so that the reader's...

Honestly... I'm confused by your question. What kind of feedback are you looking for? If you're looking for feedback on taste, whether the story is funny, etc, you should ask your readers. They're the ones who enjoy your fiction. If you ask other authors here, they'll likely dissect your...

Use timelines of the series:

Dude, I’ve read the first three chapters. And I’ll say this honestly… sorry, but your narration is still vague, which makes the scenes difficult to visualize—at least based on my reading experience. In terms of story premise, your fiction may have some fairly interesting dark fantasy elements...

Done, dude.

You can use a cliffhanger ending to cut off your chapters. Cut the chapter at a crucial or pivotal moment. This will keep the reader's curiosity piqued, making them more likely to press the next button.

I rarely write shallow 1D or 2D characters, but sometimes I do for narrative purposes. For example, I narrate a pair of fugitive slave traders who are vulgar, rude, and dirty to show how dark the world is. Interestingly, these characters generally only appear briefly before eventually dying...

Which is more difficult: Writing a new chapter or rewriting an old chapter with a more immersive approach?

Hello, dude. I'm currently looking for feedback on handling sensitive content centered on a single character. My specific questions I'm asking include: What did you feel when you read (then closed) the chapter? What thematic depth was the chapter? What was the characterization of Captain...

Your approach is very similar to mine. It's nice to find other members with a similar approach.

As a reader, someone might use judgment about a character's actions based on their values and beliefs about how actions "should" be performed. As authentic characters, they act based on the "current state" of their world, based on their personality, beliefs, values, and even their trauma.

Honestly... I have no comment. Your fiction is already quite competitive in SH's trending (mine doesn't even deserve a mention). If you want classy feedback, you need feedback from more established authors. In short, just keep writing.