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Sorry, it's too early to celebrate. Come back after writing 500 more messages for 20 trophy points. :blob_melt:

Living prose breathes with the reader's heartbeat.

Oh... now I might know why these people keep putting feedback request threads outside the feedback section. Because feedback threads placed outside the feedback section will appear in the forum trending on the SH homepage. Conversely, feedback threads in the feedback section will not appear...

Put your thread in the feedback section so that other authors can easily find your thread and maybe give a review.

Well, I've bookmarked your fiction. I'll be patient and see how your narrative develops into a philosophical narrative.

Well, I've read two of your chapters. My impression is, are you sure this is a fantasy genre? Your synopsis describes this fiction as philosophical. I was hoping it would at least touch on popular philosophical fiction narratives like Sophie's World. However, what I found was just a...

Well, we all (authors) start with a single stroke of ink. At least his work is funny, fitting for its genre (comedy). I wouldn't be so careless as to label a writer as 'good' or 'bad.'

Dude... @Omarfaruq he calls you!

No comment (well, it's a comment). Personally, I never rate stories I haven't read or that don't meet my taste. But ratings actually reflect readers' tastes more than the quality of the content.

Dude... the members here already care enough about your thread. But if you don't reply, provide clarification, or fix it, how are we supposed to care?

Well, I won't beat around the bush. I've read the title, synopsis, and chapter 1 (prologue?). Here are my impressions: (1) The title is too generic and abstract. New readers will have a hard time imagining the direction of your story just from the title. I suggest you read this thread. (2)...

My thought: What feedback do you want?

Well, this is the reason why readers have difficulty focusing on your narrative. Because your narrative often shifts POV suddenly. Readers lose their visual anchor. Well, my advice... you should not focus on immersion first (show it, don't tell it). You should focus on the flow of the scene...

Okay, I'm following the logic of limited third POV. Dude, where is Aegis in the coliseum? How does he know such small details, like the audience clawed at the chain fence around the Metal floor? In limited third-person narrative, information is conveyed through the protagonist's perception...

Dude, which POV are you using? Omniscient third POV or limited third POV?