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I feel sorry for the people of Switzerland, Uzbekistan and other landlocked countries. :blob_melt:

Well, I haven't read it... just read the review. I think WH40K is a good fit for this thread. I mean, what do readers get from a completely nihilistic universe? There's not even peace after death. As a game, WH40K might be fun to play. As a story, readers might feel bad after closing the book...

Dude... I don't want to argue with you about POV. This is my final answer in this thread. If you want the narrator to be the MC, then it would be more relevant to use the first POV. In the limited third POV, the narrator functions more as a camera following the MC. If you want a deeper POV...

The problem isn't your MC's character, but how the MC's characterization is narrated. You can narrate a calm MC without the narrator needing to dictate him.

Dude... you've apparently never dealt with a religious fanatic before. Give it a try!

When you insert Akuma's routine info dump in the middle of the action, it causes a shift in POV from a limited third POV to an omniscient POV because the narrator can switch from past events to the present in a single narrative. In an omniscient POV, the narrator is like a god in the story...

Do you have any confusion?

After reading five chapters, I stopped. Here are my general impressions of your narrative based on my reading experience: Your story has a fairly interesting idea about a character struggling against his fate, torn between his identity as a demon and his determination to become a hero...

To anyone who claims to be asking for honest feedback, please be honest with yourself. Don't say you're asking for feedback if you don't even appreciate the reviewer's time and thought for your work. Reviewers are human beings, too, and ignoring them as if they don't exist will only hurt them.

You're not a teen writer, dude. :blob_melt: Well, I've read a few of your chapters and I've noticed some issues. But I'm still in a bad mood. I'll write feedback once I'm in a better mood. Sorry for my complaints.:blob_teary:

Dude... are you sure you want honest, blunt, and perhaps even brutal feedback? I don't want to compare you to other writers. But look at people who ask feedback requests (especially new authors in teens) often don't even want to respond to my honest feedback because they're purely seeking...

Dude... your fiction has been validated by the market, look! There's already one reviewer commenting and praising your work, even though it's only just been released. There's a saying: if the customer likes it, let it be. If you ask for our validation, you'll only get author validation. If you...

Please read my feedback. I've provided a detailed review. Please appreciate those who pay attention to your fiction. :blob_melt:

Summon @CharlesEBrown

After reading 2.5 chapters, I’ll be honest, dude. Your chapters have big ambition, but the execution still has weaknesses in narrative structure. Well, let’s talk about the strengths of your narrative: First, your chapters are quite immersive. The narrative uses fairly rich sensory details...

I'm thankful you're not @Macha ... she never threatened to take away my immortality by pulling out my intestines. :blob_melt:

Wow.. this feedback is similar to my previous one. One reviewer's response may be biased... but if other reviewers confirm similar issues, then the assessment becomes quite valid. In short, @Kazehiro you need to refine and simplify your prose, avoiding over-description and melodrama.:blob_melt: