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  1. Eldoria

    [CLOSED]Need honest feedback on my story (not sugar-coated)

    The chapters are short, but the narrative clutter is too much. What casual reader would want to read two chapters just to watch MC stand in the rain? :blob_pout:
  2. Eldoria

    [CLOSED]Need honest feedback on my story (not sugar-coated)

    You read 10 chapters for this kind of narrative?! Too crazy! :blob_pout:
  3. Eldoria

    Good morning

    Good morning
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  4. Eldoria

    [CLOSED]Need honest feedback on my story (not sugar-coated)

    As you requested, I'll be honest, too honest, too blunt. I'm giving you feedback as you requested. Are you upset with my initial statement? Well, I was just demonstrating your narrative. I've read three chapters and stopped there because your narrative is melodramatic. What is melodrama? It's...
  5. Eldoria

    You skiped me. I'm a new member here. :blob_aww:

    You skiped me. I'm a new member here. :blob_aww:
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  6. Eldoria

    [CLOSED]Need honest feedback on my story (not sugar-coated)

    The synopsis is too confusing for the reader. Change the synopsis to make it more salesy. You can use the following synopsis formula (typically used in commercial novels): I've explained this formula too many times. The point is to transform your synopsis from a plot summary into the...
  7. Eldoria

    Warner Bros will release LOTR on December 17, 2027.

    Warner Bros will release LOTR on December 17, 2027.
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  8. Eldoria

    [IMG] :blob_aww:

    :blob_aww:
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  9. Eldoria

    Dude... your comment is sexist. I'm going to call 911. Mochi... mochi...:blob_cringe:

    Dude... your comment is sexist. I'm going to call 911. Mochi... mochi...:blob_cringe:
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  10. Eldoria

    Action Feedback (I don't know how to write it)

    Here are some practical tips for writing action scenes (especially battles): First, describe the chaotic environment as the atmosphere at the beginning of the narrative. You can describe dust, blood, corpses, sunlight, or any object to depict the tension of the battle. The goal is to draw the...
  11. Eldoria

    Eldoria is still Eldoria... no matter how many series have been written about me. :blob_aww:

    Eldoria is still Eldoria... no matter how many series have been written about me. :blob_aww:
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  12. Eldoria

    No, @Anemic_Vampire was a kind vampire girl; she never threatened to use my intestines to end my...

    No, @Anemic_Vampire was a kind vampire girl; she never threatened to use my intestines to end my immortality. :blob_upset:
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  13. Eldoria

    I feel like @Rosica and Macha have the same vibe when it comes to bloody violence. You both are...

    I feel like @Rosica and Macha have the same vibe when it comes to bloody violence. You both are sisters in gore. :blob_melt:
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  14. Eldoria

    I hope... Pain is the protagonist. His answer is painful but true. Meanwhile, Naruto is simply a...

    I hope... Pain is the protagonist. His answer is painful but true. Meanwhile, Naruto is simply a utopian idealism. If Pain is a hated conservative politician, Naruto is more like a motivational speaker who sells sweet words. :blob_melt:
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  15. Eldoria

    Don't worry, dude. Your jokes are still funny. :blob_aww:

    Don't worry, dude. Your jokes are still funny. :blob_aww:
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  16. Eldoria

    A little girl can't drive BMW, dude.

    A little girl can't drive BMW, dude.
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