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I'm going to point out some things and hope there's a way to apply my opinions to broader things. First off, the "strat" thing at the end tripped me up when I read through it. If they're going to speak in a dialect (couldn't find a better word), it should be more consistent. To match up more...

I don't really pay that much attention that that stuff. Out of sight, out of mind is a pretty accurate summary.

Woaahhh. Chunky paragraphs. Aside from that, I'd say its pretty good. Re-reading your work and trying to kick yourself down based on what you've written is a pretty good way to improve your writing though. Maybe try that as well. Though personally, I don't think you should be writing a chapter...

Hunger Games it. May be best novel remain in writing.

Why not. Go read my novel. This Fantasy's Anomaly

Ok. So if you really wanted to include sex, just roughly state what happened and move on. Or reference the action from a character at a later point in time. Its pretty hard to make frequent sex in a novel work, especially because it turns away the people who want story and attracts the people...

The "let's fuck that arrogant young miss until she begs for mercy" is an automatic turn off for me. Probably should work on your story intro before anything else. Also I didn't actually read it but if a novel hits the 3.5 star range that means your novel is pissing enough people off to go from...

Well, if it's just this random army out of nowhere assembled for no reason other than to kill me, I'd just start running. Eventually, they'd get tired out, catch disease and get mostly wiped out, or lose whatever unifying reason they have for versing me.

Well, you could define what a "SSS" and "F" rank would be in terms of strength, and then fill in the middle.

I, too, enjoy slapping desks. Though, it looks pretty good overall.

I read a paragraph and I'm don't consider myself that good with criticism, so I'll just show how I would've written it.. "Deep in the sea, resting on the ocean floor lies the source of the worlds magic. A great beast as wide and tall as a mountain with a body as long as the greatest river, the...

Well, I write 1-1.5k words per chapter per week and its doing pretty well. I guess whats pulling me through is that I also think about how to continue the story when I'm free?

Okay, so I got a bit interested and tried writing a bit of it in my own way. Also I want to point out how in the title you said "need feedback if its good." Do you not want feedback if it's criticism? ( ._.) *BEEP BEEP BEEP* 'Nooooooo' Whyyyyy... I need my sleep. Gimme my sleeeeppp. I try to...

My view-point on litrpg's is that they're all trash as soon as they start majorly scaling stats. The general way to view them is like this: Normal People's EXP Multiplier: Times 1 Skilled People's EXP Multiplier: Times 2 Heroic People's EXP Multiplier: Times 4 MC's EXP Multiplier: Times...

Ahoi! I don't actually know you.

Well, even if he lost his memories, that doesn't actually mean he's lost his intuitions. Speaking is pretty much based on intuition, because you don't think about how you respond to people who talk to you, you just do. For how you're doing it, you could make it so that he simply can't...

Summary of my decision: Sadodere => Chaos => Fun Kuudere => Peaceful => Enjoyable

It seems like a pain. You'd have to think out every single realistic action they would take, and you would have to stress over how accurate it is or else the story feels like some sort of copy-paste with specific names replaced by more-well-known names.

Personally, I think it would be a bad idea to automatically make your characters Japanese just because they're the stereotypical character. If they're Japanese to appease the audience, it just doesn't feel... right? Like, imagine if you're suddenly using -chan or -shifu when you aren't even that...

I'd reincarnate as God. Because, hell, why not. Turn myself from atheist to metheist.