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Who's saying this? A lot going on here. Why are the names bolded? What's an ever-changing sky? What are the green flames? Where are they - first off they're running through the palace and then all of a sudden they're in the skies. This is a very surface-level way of setting the scene. Comma...

Not my vibe at all, sorry.

Also I guess I'm not looking for King in terms of quality (though obvs that would be fantastic) but more in terms of content. The way he blends supernatural with the mundane is 100% my jam.

What can I say, I know what I like.

who cares? Pasolini made Salo.

Ah, go on then, for a fellow neurodivergent.

The thing to do now is act like you planned that all along

The grandfather is called Docile Tertias, so I didn't know if you meant it like docile (calm and peaceful) and tertiary (third), and if you did, what that meant.

dude what's up with this landscape-ass formatting

I don't like that this is all in italics. Despite the italics, I like this opening. There's tension bc of the silence between the characters, and a bit of voice in the descriptions. But here I'm lost bc I have no idea what's going on. For some reason (my own fault) I pictured the characters...

I want to query "writhing" here because that word suggests prolonged, continued movement, like writhing in pain. It doesn't fit with the being too bored to sleep. He can't just switch the light on? With this level of familiarity, I'd expect him to call the old man by his name, not by a...

This implies the world takes place in a world where Christianity exists. Which is fine, but is going to be difficult with world building. So far we have Caleb's thoughts but it's all very disembodied. I'd like more details to help set the scene in a physical realm - like does the wooden floor...

yes.

Top Five Pieces of Film Music: Chevaliers de Sangreal from The Da Vinci Code (Hans Zimmer) Conquest of Paradise from 1492: Conquest of Paradise (Vangelis) Mulan's Decision from Mulan (Jerry Goldsmith) Lux Aeterna from Requiem For A Dream (Clint Mansell) Across The Stars from Attack of the...

Top Five Film Soundtracks: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1992) (Patrick Doyle) Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (Hans Zimmer) Lord of the Rings (Howard Shore) Gladiator (Hans Zimmer) The Dark Knight (Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard)