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Request away, I say! I don't consider that fruitless and I don't feel anybody must listen to me. What annoys me is when someone who is explicitly writing purely for themselves asks me to read, gets a response they didn't want to hear, and then pushes back against me because what I said doesn't...

For the sake of anybody else reading this, I'll add in an excerpt from Story so you can know what we're talking about. :ROFLMAO: Reading over this again, it seems he's less against it and more against the constant poor use of it and how lazily it was used, particularly with exposition...

Alright, going to focus on your pacing issues first and foremost, since I'm working on another grammar guide to help people out, beyond the Showing stuff I already did. But here are some examples of mistakes I noticed... Run-on sentences... Sentence fragments... And other things that are...

Successful or better, it all depends on whatever you want out of it. I'd argue that what's "good" or "better" than another is entirely subjective and relies on taste. From a pragmatic perspective, however, I stand by the idea that people don't need as much as some might tout to get by. I'm not...

Oh yeah, you don't actually need to know "arcane" stuff at all. As said in it, an algorithm has even found that to be the literal case. It's also why Orwellian Prose helped as a foundation for me, even if I'm doing a lot lately to blend in more advanced techniques I know. Regardless, just basic...

This is one of those that got buried in between that I didn't notice until now. I'll get to this one tomorrow, as I'm a bit tired from what I already did. Alright, so, this is another I'd pass on, for a number of reasons. First up, the passing is way too fast. There are way too many important...

There's a book I read earlier this year that helped me contextualize the patterns of fiction writers, based on the observations of an experienced and prolific author who has written over 50 novels in all kinds of different genres and for franchises. It's a short one and I really want to pass...

AKA "how can the final villain mess with the concept of time itself this time." :LOL: I'm mixed on JoJo fighting, in that I DO enjoy it most of the time, but Part 6 is one of the examples where I feel it pushed things too far at times into just insanely abstract concepts that became hard for me...

As said for me, I'm fondest of when weakness is used to make a villain a protagonist. There's something about seeing a villain taking their own levels in badass and the idea that "oh shit, the heroes are going to have to deal with this later!" that appeals to me a great deal. I didn't talk...

So, got a new angle going for things this week! Instead of talking prose, I'm talking VILLAINS! This topic is a little something I started thinking about months ago after reading a bit of Manga in Theory & Practice. Araki (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure) shared something in it about how mixing in...

Yes, I feel a lot of web novelists are guide narrators instead of filter ones.

No. That's the path of authoritarian cowards who believe the world needs to cater to their tastes and preferences.

No reason to hate to come in, that's the point of this thread. It won't be today, but I will do it. I'll be back in a few days, I kind of need to start producing the new episode of my show.

HOW DARE YOU... Add stuff I find a good supplement that I'm grateful for. :LOL: You've nothing to apologize for! In fact, thank you! I just care about people getting figuring out how to tell the stories they want to tell well, so I don't care who says what so long as it's good feedback...

You're trying too hard. Again, you're trying to be literary. Also, good example of why it doesn't work (while going into actual specifics instead of just saying its good or bad) is your inconsistent language and phrasing. You mix modern and outdated language. For example, "once over sufficed"...

It's cool, not like my stuff is going anywhere any time soon. :LOL: I hope the stuff can help. Now, let's get into the nitty-gritty of your work, as I had to put a bit more effort into this than I normally do when putting my finger on the issue. I would say no to this one, but I had to think...

Opened his mouth doesn't add depth. And you want to avoid emotional details because the dialogue itself should be strong enough. The "lack of emotional details" is a lack of telling. Creative tags are, for the most part, unnecessary, while stuff like said is nearly invisible to readers. If...

I'm glad to see a fellow hater present tense. It's so unnatural. The only thing I hate more than regular present tense is first-person present tense.

Okay, time for me to do some of these again! Starting with one I somehow missed. Thumbs up! I enjoyed this one! The narrator's voice is very nice and it made me laugh! You've got a good, colorful omniscient approach going, so you're working things quite well. Honestly, when it comes to handling...

I recommend said. Says is present tense.