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You didn't watch the video, did you? There is no perfect story, only perfect stories. There is no success or failure, only DEGREES of success and failure. The fact you are making excuses means you will not be a good writer. A GOOD writer knows it is his fault if the audience doesn't understand...

While I do not find the idea of idols made in my image for those who wish to worship me, or perhaps lay offerings at the feet of, offensive... I find the idea of using shrubbery as the base construction material of said idol to be somewhat disturbing. What if I choose to manifest through it? Am...

Please do not shape a shrub into my image.

I always use Doctor Zobb's Anti-Time Paradox Cream. Just check your medicine cabinet. It should already be there. It is for external use only. Although... I don't think it will do much if you eat it, except taste bad. Just rub it on any paradox you find three times a day. It should retroactively...

Hrrrmmmm... Ooo! I know! *low humming sound* THERE! I just created a new season for you! I call it... Winter! There will be less sunlight during the new season of "Winter" so you can move around more! I hope you enjoy it! For the record, I had to retroactively create the season so it existed...

Well, I use Eldritchverse But I personally just call it...

Well... 1996 was an interesting year.

When I did stand up comedy, I based an entire routine on Harold and the three weeks I road around with him. Truth told, I believe everything he told me. EVERYTHING. I don't think he lied once. You know why? Because when I stopped riding with him, on our last load, I got to drop Harold off, at...

So I used to be an over-the-road truck driver. I got to ride with Harold as a co-driver for a while. Or as I liked to call him, The Harold of Death. The guy had a story of doom, death, and destruction everywhere we went. One day we were driving on the I94 hauling a load of tombstones and he...

The mind knows not what the tongue wants. And I see you went with the terrifying avatar.

Okay. I'm gonna talk to you like you are serious about being a writer, okay? If you are just doing this for fun, then ignore everything I say. DO NOT CLICK ON THE SPOILER BELOW FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN YOU ARE A SERIOUS WRITER AND YOU WANT TO BE GOOD AT THIS. AND BY GOOD I MEAN YOU WANT TO BE...

Hard to write a story about someone who sings.

No. You obviously don't know of me yet. All my personal stories are hysterical or dark and tortured tales of woe. Usually both. I don't want to ruin the mood.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! What is that that thing?!? I fear it will come for me in the night to violate any orifice I might have with that dark saber dildo it's wielding! It is times like this I am glad I don't have any. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE!!!

I'm a man. To have a favorite thing would imply I had feelings. The only feeling a man should experience is hungry. I write because it's a productive use of my time.

Look, those thousands of lives I ruined? THEY HAD IT COMING. I never did anything illegal. If it's legal, then it can't be wrong, right? ... right?

I figure the AI should defend itself. How do you know?

Look. he's not a bad guy. I believe he honestly thinks he's doing good. And in a way, he is. He has done good things and made some mistakes. He's got principles, and I can respect a man with principles who doesn't live with cognitive dissonance every day. When he's wrong, he accepts it. The...

Mine's Bigger.

Disdain! Disdain Upon You! Disdain Upon Your House! Disdain Upon Your Cow! You have my condolences. let's see... that'd be about 12k words. So... you have about 288k to go. Have it done by next Friday, or the elders of fanfiction shall judge you and find you wanting. This is all you need to...