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nonsense. we need MORE vampires, not fewer. this is basic scienceonomics, folks!

Q rule #27: Any and all solicitations can and will be met with judicious force... unless you're commissioning from us, ofc.

we plead the fifth! ... hypothetically.... everyone. emotions are tasty too! we must cultivate the proper environment for yummy vibes! hypothetically... if we sampled you, which we didn't, we'd say you tasted of home cooked comfort meals and heat. lots of heat. very spicy, we'd say, if we'd...

[you uh... you wanna share some of that?] mmmm praise. the smug satisfaction radiating off of you because of it could feed a whole squad of us.

Having sampled you both (purely out of curiosity), neither of you taste of pineapple. Danny has a mildly sweet yet prickly flavor, while you have a dark bitter bite to an otherwise creamy personality.

you'd survive, most likely. the terminal velocity of a worm is greater than it can reach due to air resistance. we know ants can survive falls because of that, so why not worms too? as for this one, we've got terrariums and pots of soil around the house, so we could take breaks in those. it'd be...

plot twist: all kitties are the bestest of kitties!

we have scoured the timelines, and can confirm: in the vast, vast majority of them, at least 99.99~% of them, you are not evil. the bestest of kitties~!

many many many pets! tropical fish galore, tarantulas, isopods, other arthopods and invertebretes, geckos of multiple species, axolotls, a skink, frogs, and carnivorous plants everywhere. when we're not writing or gaming, we're taking care of our critters and plants. and before anyone asks...

ngl, we've had a little help in interpretation from some witches in a coven or two that we know... we have no choice but to act like we have free will, is how i've seen it put. if one were to recreate the exact same first second or so of the universe, things will play out pretty much almost...

or cicadas screaming. same thing, really. bugs aren't too bad. most of em just taste like the seasonings you put on em. crickets and mealworms are kinda flavorless if you cook em properly. not gonna eat any bugs bigger than that, though. if it takes more than one bite to get rid of it, it's out...

q rule #26: cheat. cheat at everything. cheat at life. cheat at chess. cheat at cheating and live an honest life. up to you, really.

q rule #25: the key to success is in our tentacles. in order to obtain it, you must complete our deadly labyrinth and find the treasure at the end!

*draws a card* *it immediately becomes three cards, much to our chagrin* *we throw them to the ground, and draw another. this one also triplicates itself.* *frustrated, we draw card after card after card. whenever they are turned over to reveal the face, they triplicate. the pile of discarded...

... yet. *stares back* oh what, those? those were already there when we got here.

[lies! we quagmas of the future have seen the truth! do not listen, fox of the fluff!] [us quagmas of the far future reporting back! do not listen to those guys, they know not of what they speak!] [distant future quagmas here! LIES! THEY LIE! ALL OF THEM! they're being contr--] [IGNORE THEM! we...