ShrimpShady

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 9, 2026

Wingstop cashier mispronounced my name and then laughed at it

I officially no longer support the working class. I am now a diehard capitalist

Water is not a human right. Busting unions > busting nuts. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps or die.

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 9, 2026

Shromp Rule #

Couples who wear matching clothes will receive unfavorable reincarnations

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Hanging out with women and they try something on at a store so that one is forced to repeat "It's giving..." followed by a random noun, verb, celebrity, visual aesthetic, book genre, mineral, time period, etc. until they deem your answer satisfactory

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Walked into a restaurant that I'd been curious about for a while only to find out it's way more expensive than I thought

I can sense the waitress judging me for being an out of place brokie

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Reverse 1999 designs so good they almost manipulated me into installing a gacha game

Not today Mammon

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

I hope time isn't linear because I want to be reincarnated as a Steppe Nomad robbing fools on the Silk Road

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 7, 2026

If I ever had shrimp babies, they'd have to be with a woman whose ethnicity is almost comically different from mine. I aim to create a never-before-seen ethnicity

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  JayMark

• Apr 7, 2026

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 7, 2026

I remember the time I got into a protracted online fight with a Mushoku Tensei pfp about whether or not Witch Hat Atelier was woke bullshit

Little did he know I hadn't read either series

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 6, 2026

If I somehow got dummy rich and started driving a Rolls Royce and some brokie in a corolla rear-ended me, shit I don't think I'd even charge him for the repairs. In fact, I couldn't do that to him

I just have that much compassion for the working class, you see

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 6, 2026

My xitter algorithm is currently a fan of showing me xeets of people spouting straight up bullshit as scientific/historical fact.

Just today, I saw someone proclaim that Jesus just... didn't exist. This was an artist who posts their paintings online, and I'm sure those paintings are very lovely, but how could a painter be so confident as to go against the consensus of real historians?

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 6, 2026

Shromp Rule #

capitalism is cringe

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 6, 2026

When Jesus came back from the dead, one of the first things he said was like, "peace be upon you"

so like, may peace be upon you this easter even though it's already monday here

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 5, 2026

Cricumcisions have really come a long way technologically since when I was a kid

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 5, 2026

Would've loved to be in that room when they discovered Stalin's body. idk must've been crazy lmao

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 5, 2026

*struggling to make conversation on a hinge date with a polisci major*

"So uhh... are you prostate?"

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  JayMark

• Apr 4, 2026

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 4, 2026

Music recommendation

Like most people, I discovered this surprisingly pleasant little tune from the Youtube channel Internet Comment Etiquette. It just oozes campy charm--from the dogshit production to the greenscreen music video. But at its heart, is an almost frustratingly brilliant chorus. This shit will be stuck in your head.

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 4, 2026