Actually coherent criticism?

[Esden-Noir]

You have 2 followers on RR and 1 reader here on SH(which is yourself). people can have 100 times that and not get any reviews or ratings.

Dam cut me some slack gng?

Wait I sell physically in my local market aswell tho?

 

[FRWriter]

Dam cut me some slack gng?

Wait I sell physically in my local market aswell tho?

I'll give yours a read in the next few days. However, I'll probably mostly comment on the plot and if I find it interesting. Since you use GPT for writing, there is nothing to say in terms of grammar or mistakes.

I honestly would recommend that you stop letting it write your story for you. It has really terrible quirks, one of them, which is present in your chapters are extremely short sentences (often 1 or 2 word sentences), and that weird paragraph split using Em dash.

Personally, I find that style of writing unbearable. Starting sentences with "And" and "But," mostly using short sentences... it's a dead giveaway. Also, AI tends to use words that say nothing. Empty phrases. These short descriptive sentences like "Cold and thick," or "not cruel, not mocking. Pure. Untouched." I loathe these sentences. They are absolutely disgusting AI slop excrement sentences of the worst kind.

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Anyway, my advice, DROP that garbage NOW before it's too late. Don't even get used to that garbage..you can do so much better. Simple English is so much better compared to AI excrement, trust me.

I'll read the story later and comment on the plot only. As for writing... doesn't make sense to critique GPT's writing, and I honestly don't think there is any need to. Pick any random part of your latest chapter, and you can instantly recognize it.

 

[Esden-Noir]

I'll give yours a read in the next few days. However, I'll probably mostly comment on the plot and if I find it interesting. Since you use GPT for writing, there is nothing to say in terms of grammar or mistakes.

I honestly would recommend that you stop letting it write your story for you. It has really terrible quirks, one of them, which is present in your chapters are extremely short sentences (often 1 or 2 word sentences), and that weird paragraph split using Em dash.

Personally, I find that style of writing unbearable. Starting sentences with "And" and "But," mostly using short sentences... it's a dead giveaway. Also, AI tends to use words that say nothing. Empty phrases. These short descriptive sentences like "Cold and thick," or "not cruel, not mocking. Pure. Untouched." I loathe these sentences. They are absolutely disgusting AI slop excrement sentences of the worst kind.

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Anyway, my advice, DROP that garbage NOW before it's too late. Don't even get used to that garbage..you can do so much better. Simple English is so much better compared to AI excrement, trust me.

I'll read the story later and comment on the plot only. As for writing... doesn't make sense to critique GPT's writing, and I honestly don't think there is any need to. Pick any random part of your latest chapter, and you can instantly recognize it.

View attachment 44544

Wait bro I write the stories my self. I won't let some ai write for me. Ohh the start, believe me that wasn't chatgpt I wrote the starting of the story a few years back when I was starting writing novels as a hobby. That's why it seems to have such a garbage way of writing(it's garbage yes but not chatgpt I assure you) if you'd want to read something I'll post a flash fiction i wrote a few days ago which you can read. But if flash fictions a no go. After chapter 15 i rewrote the whole story hence why I'm posting it now, I lost the original older story(a blessing in disguise tbh)

 

[tiaf]

After chapter 15 i rewrote the whole story hence why I'm posting it now, I lost the original older story(a blessing in disguise tbh)

Rewrite now. Readers see the first chapter and think AI slop and won't stay to the end of the chapter and definitely not til chapter 16.

 

[Eldoria]

Wait bro I write the stories my self. I won't let some ai write for me. Ohh the start, believe me that wasn't chatgpt I wrote the starting of the story a few years back when I was starting writing novels as a hobby. That's why it seems to have such a garbage way of writing(it's garbage yes but not chatgpt I assure you) if you'd want to read something I'll post a flash fiction i wrote a few days ago which you can read. But if flash fictions a no go. After chapter 15 i rewrote the whole story hence why I'm posting it now, I lost the original older story(a blessing in disguise tbh)

I tend to avoid judging whether someone's writing is written by AI or not. Even AI detectors claim their results are likely biased.

Bad writing isn't necessarily AI-written. And vice versa.

There are even AI-written works available for sale on Amazon. It's entirely possible our analysis is biased in assessing writing, given our limited knowledge.

Frankly, no one truly knows how someone's writing is produced unless the author explains it (or someone else observes how the author writes).

 

[FRWriter]

Wait bro I write the stories my self. I won't let some ai write for me. Ohh the start, believe me that wasn't chatgpt I wrote the starting of the story a few years back when I was starting writing novels as a hobby. That's why it seems to have such a garbage way of writing(it's garbage yes but not chatgpt I assure you) if you'd want to read something I'll post a flash fiction i wrote a few days ago which you can read. But if flash fictions a no go. After chapter 15 i rewrote the whole story hence why I'm posting it now, I lost the original older story(a blessing in disguise tbh)

This was from the latest chapter (chapter 17), and the segment I posted is 100% written by AI. Of course, you write the story on your own, but you surely ask AI to rewrite/improve it. It uses your story, but it adds words and certain phrasing. Nobody writes like that, I can tell you it's 100% AI.

"Laughter echoed through the air—children’s laughter—not cruel, not mocking. Pure. Untouched."

Don't tell me you have written that sentence

 

[Deleted member 266]

actual critique is behind a pay wall

Go make a friend.

 

[unlaumy]

This was from the latest chapter (chapter 17), and the segment I posted is 100% written by AI. Of course, you write the story on your own, but you surely ask AI to rewrite/improve it. It uses your story, but it adds words and certain phrasing. Nobody writes like that, I can tell you it's 100% AI.

"Laughter echoed through the air—children’s laughter—not cruel, not mocking. Pure. Untouched."

Don't tell me you have written that sentence

At the begininng, I see some human mistakes here and there. But from the look of it, it's probably a case of someone giving up writing more and more the longer the story goes on.

This is what I found on chapter 13:

The world shimmered into focus as Sylas opened his eyes, refreshed from a night of unbroken slumber. Beyond the window, the city of Sangralure gleamed in a serene cascade of golden light, its spires and rooftops bathed in the dawn's gentle embrace. The sunlight halted at the heavy curtains, casting only faint whispers into the dimly lit room. Sylas rose from the bed, his bare feet meeting the cool wooden floor, and parted the curtains with a sweep of his hand.

Below, the bustling streets of Sangralure pulsed with life—a symphony of merchants' shouts, the clatter of horse-drawn carts, and the distant ring of blacksmith hammers. The air carried hints of fresh bread and blooming jasmine from the city's famed gardens. Sylas yawned deeply, stretching his limbs, and grasped the door handle, ready to face the day.

The underlined parts are important because AI tends to develop paragraphs in duplicate structure. First, descriptions, then Sylus acting+interactions to object.

More:

The duo stood before the grand gates of Sangralure's royal palace, its marble facade towering like a sentinel over the city. Kael nervously brushed back his unruly hair, while Sylas straightened his crimson tie, the fabric smooth against his collar.

Within the palace walls, Sangralure's opulence unfolded like a dream woven from threads of gold and silk. Vaulted ceilings soared endlessly, as if daring to pierce the heavens, adorned with intricate frescoes depicting ancient legends. Every corner gleamed with polished silver and gilded accents, while maids glided past in perfect synchrony, their uniforms whispering against the marble floors. Kael wasted no time, launching into his signature charm offensive with a passing servant.

Ohh the start, believe me that wasn't chatgpt I wrote the starting of the story a few years back when I was starting writing novels as a hobby. That's why it seems to have such a garbage way of

I believe that. But at best, you've been only reading AI-written stories that it somehow seeps into your writing style.

 

[Esden-Noir]

Go make a friend.

Getting cooked online is crazy. But my primary language isn't English neither is my other friends?

This was from the latest chapter (chapter 17), and the segment I posted is 100% written by AI. Of course, you write the story on your own, but you surely ask AI to rewrite/improve it. It uses your story, but it adds words and certain phrasing. Nobody writes like that, I can tell you it's 100% AI.

"Laughter echoed through the air—children’s laughter—not cruel, not mocking. Pure. Untouched."

Don't tell me you have written that sentence

Hmm dam I didn't reread that. It might've added some sentences to my original, thanks for catching that, I might've missed that. Screw that i'ma actually rewrite that(this time keeping the chat bot faaaraway cuz it's screwing up my project as you pointed out) but I wrote a shorter (poetical focused horror/ritual horror focused) short story. I'ma upload that in a bit. If you want to see how I actually write instead of the shi Ai did to it?

 

[FRWriter]

Getting cooked online is crazy. But my primary language isn't English neither is my other friends?

Hmm dam I didn't reread that. It might've added some sentences to my original, thanks for catching that, I might've missed that. Screw that i'ma actually rewrite that(this time keeping the chat bot faaaraway cuz it's screwing up my project as you pointed out) but I wrote a shorter (poetical focused horror/ritual horror focused) short story. I'ma upload that in a bit. If you want to see how I actually write instead of the shi Ai did to it?

It's totally fine! You can use AI, but you need to be careful and always proofread and maybe change your prompt to tell AI to only correct mistakes and not change/rewrite entire paragraphs.

 

[Esden-Noir]

It's totally fine! You can use AI, but you need to be careful and always proofread and maybe change your prompt to tell AI to only correct mistakes and not change/rewrite entire paragraphs.

Yeah I know, I never even said it to correct the Grammer or anything, I guess it's just how it's made so that's why it was tampering with my novel?

That said I'd need to eventually rewrite the first arc anyways, so it's kinda like a win-win in the long run