About AI use in edits

[Hans.Trondheim]

So I made a thread days ago, and @DismaiNaim replied about his use of AI in his works. I tried it with the rewrite, and honestly, I think it polished my narration.

Let me give an example. This is the original passage from one of the chapters I edited (Volume 1 Chapter 3)

Going from the kitchen to the courtyard was a long trip. I needed to pass through a winding maze of well-tended shrubs and fountains to reach that area. Of course, the plants and water itself posed no threat. However…

“…”

I felt those idiots from the kitchen hid the food cart and were planning to ambush me while I manually carried the patrons’ food to the courtyard. I mean, look—or imagine—this setting. This was like in Vietnam, where you suddenly hear the trees and shrubs speak Vietnamese for a moment, and then a hail of bullets and explosions would follow seconds after. Only this time, I might get a hail of flying leaves and droplets of water. If those fell into the food, it would get contaminated.

Of course, I knew their plans. It’s as clear as the day! And I prepared proper counter-measures.

“!!!”

I cautiously stepped into the war zone, watching my every move, tracking every moving branch, and making sure it was clear with every turn I made.

Duck for cover, if you must. Give them hell if you want to survive. Peel your eyes open if you want to prevail.

In Vietnam, as I remember from the movies I watched, the enemy was everywhere. The moment you let your guard down was the moment you die. Of course, a proper Vietnam War theme song should go with it.

“Humhumhumhum…mmm…paint it black…”

I had Gemini 'polish' this part, and this is what it came up with.

The trek from the kitchen to the courtyard was an ordeal. To reach the Saint’s visitors, I had to navigate a winding maze of manicured shrubs and tiered fountains. On paper, the scenery was tranquil—water feature therapy at its finest. In reality? It was a tactical nightmare.

“...”

I knew those kitchen staff "idiots" hadn't just forgotten the food cart; they had hidden it. They wanted me to carry the trays manually, exposed and vulnerable. Looking at the dense greenery, I couldn't help but draw a comparison. This was like those old Vietnam War movies I’d seen back on Earth—the kind where the trees suddenly started speaking a language you didn't understand right before the first flare went up.

Only here, the "hail of bullets" would be wet leaves and spiteful splashes of fountain water. If a single stray leaf touched the patrons’ food, the kitchen maids would have all the excuse they needed to declare me a "sullied" failure.

I knew their game. It was as clear as the Chersean sky, and I had prepared my countermeasures.

“!!!”

I stepped into the "war zone" with the caution of a man walking through a minefield. I tracked every rustling branch and scanned every blind turn. I was a teacher, but in this moment, I was a seasoned veteran of a conflict no one else knew was happening.

Duck for cover. Keep the tray level. Give them hell if you want to survive.

In the movies, the enemy was everywhere—blending into the brush, waiting for that one moment of lapsed concentration. I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction. All I needed was the right soundtrack to set the mood.

“Hum-hum-hum... mmm... Paint it black...” I began to hum the low, gravelly rhythm of the Rolling Stones, my eyes darting from bush to bush as I marched toward the courtyard.

Of course, Gemini is an AI. It has its own take on things, so I still read it and changed stuff to retain consistency with my vision for the story. So, this is what Gemini and I came up with...

The trek from the kitchen to the courtyard was an ordeal. To reach the Saint’s visitors, I had to navigate a winding maze of manicured shrubs and tiered fountains. On paper, the scenery was tranquil—eye-candy at its finest. In reality? It was a tactical nightmare.

“...”

Those kitchen staff ‘idiots’ hadn’t forgotten the food cart they use to deliver food; they deliberately hid it from me. They wanted me to carry the trays with my hands, exposed and vulnerable. Looking at the dense greenery, I couldn't help but draw a comparison. This was like those old Vietnam War movies I’d seen back on Earth—the kind where the trees suddenly started speaking a language you didn't understand right before the first flare went up.

Only here, the ‘hail of bullets’ would be the dried leaves and spiteful splashes of fountain water. Once a single stray leaf or drop of water touched the patrons’ food, the kitchen maids would have all the excuse they needed to declare these as ‘sullied’ failures, and me a ‘useless lust demon.’

I knew their game. It was as clear as the Chersean sky, and I had prepared my countermeasures.

“!!!”

I stepped into the ‘war zone’ with the caution of a man walking through a minefield. I tracked every rustling branch and scanned every blind turn. I was a teacher, but in this moment, I was a seasoned veteran of a conflict no one else knew was happening.

Duck for cover. Keep the tray level. Give them hell if you want to survive.

In the movies, the enemy was everywhere—blending into the brush, waiting for that one moment of lapsed concentration. I wasn't about to give the maids that satisfaction. All I needed was the right soundtrack to set the mood.

“Hum-hum-hum... mmm... Paint it black...” I began to hum the low, gravelly rhythm of that Rolling Stones song, my eyes darting from bush to bush as I marched toward the courtyard.

So, what do you think? I think the use of AI elevated my narration, and it also has the benefit of pointing out some perspectives from the story that I haven't seen/noticed before.

However, I'd like to know if such use of AI is acceptable with all the negative sentiments against it considered.

Thanks!

 

[Talon88.1]

For me AI editing for things like checking grammar and punctuation, asking it to look for overly repeating word choice, or asking it to look for places to punch up a description, perfectly fine.
When someone's just putting in 'write me a story vaguely around these characters and these themes', that's when it gets stupid.
Use AI as a proof reader or a bouncing board for your ideas, don't let it become the writer.

 

[Nitra_dai]

Well, AI is good. But the moment you try to put unfiltered language it will show you stop sign. So…. Yeah.. Still it’s good to elevate the narration and approach words that we don’t have in our stock

 

[greyblob]

wouldnt call this editing tbh. moreso rewriting. ai-assistance

first draft has flaws but 2nd and 3rd change the feel completely. it went from silly to pretentious. Id say it elevated the the writing level, better composition, better vocab, yada yada

but at the same time, it made it more generic and charmless. this is especially true for first-person. In first-person you can get away with some leeway for writing style because the reader is 'hearing' the protag's thoughts. here it's good to be quirky.

i dont think this is a good way to edit with ai. Imo if you wanna keep your voice, do 1 sentence at a time or smth and have it not change the composition.

 

[Makimaam]

I’m not one of those anti-AI witch hunters, but what I’m against is replacing your perfectly fine and charming human cadence with the mechanical, overwritten, predictable blandness, generic phrasing AI loves to generate. It doesn’t actually elevate your prose, and at times, the metaphors do not make sense. There is a discordance that’s hard to explain in words.

Use it as a suggestion, not to completely override your prose unless absolutely necessary. My take when I tried to combine two versions:

Going from the kitchen to the courtyard was a long trip. To reach the Saint’s visitors, I needed to pass through a winding maze of well-tended shrubs and tiered fountains. Of course, the plants and water itself posed no threat. However…

“…”

I felt those idiots from the kitchen hid the food cart and were planning to ambush me while I manually carried the patrons’ food to the courtyard. I mean, look—or imagine—this setting. This was like in Vietnam, where you suddenly hear the trees and shrubs speak Vietnamese for a moment, and then a hail of bullets and explosions would follow seconds after.

Only here, the ‘hail of bullets’ would be the dried leaves and splashes of fountain water. If they fell into the food, it would get contaminated.

Of course, I knew their plans. It was as clear as the day, and I had prepared my countermeasures.

“!!!”

I cautiously stepped into the war zone, watching my every move, tracking every moving branch, and scanning every blind turn.

Duck for cover, if you must. Give them hell if you want to survive. Peel your eyes open if you want to prevail.

In the movies, the enemy was everywhere. The moment you let your guard down was the moment you die. All I needed was the right soundtrack to set the mood.
“Humhumhumhum…mmm…paint it black…”

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

wouldnt call this editing tbh. moreso rewriting. ai-assistance

first draft has flaws but 2nd and 3rd change the feel completely. it went from silly to pretentious. Id say it elevated the the writing level, better composition, better vocab, yada yada

but at the same time, it made it more generic and charmless.

I dunno about it. My writing has been charmless even since conception.

this is especially true for first-person. In first-person you can get away with some leeway for writing style because the reader is 'hearing' the protag's thoughts. here it's good to be quirky.

I don't think the reception of the original work tells the same.

i dont think this is a good way to edit with ai. Imo if you wanna keep your voice, do 1 sentence at a time or smth and have it not change the composition.

Now this is the part where I'm confused. If I try to change it on my own, I still get bad feedback like "Why use this certain word?" or "Do you really have to use this weird sentence construction?" Stuff like that.

Yet, when I try to fix it with AI assistance, I still get confusing feedback.

So how do I really do edits? I'm no English native. I want to fix my narrative while cutting at the words as well. I've been doing sentence by sentence too, if I think it should be done.

 

[melchi]

I would watch out through.

Went from 200 words to 300 words. If 200 words gets the job done then adding that extra hundred might not be worth it.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

I’m not one of those anti-AI witch hunters, but what I’m against is replacing your perfectly fine and charming human cadence with the mechanical, overwritten, predictable blandness, generic phrasing AI loves to generate. It doesn’t actually elevate your prose, and at times, the metaphors do not make sense. There is a discordance that’s hard to explain in words.

Use it as a suggestion, not to completely override your prose unless absolutely necessary. My take when I tried to combine two versions:

Yeah, I'm using that as a suggestion, though I'd use it if I think it's good for the overall work. So I thought that part is actually good.

I can't rely asking a human editor all the time coz it's expensive on my part.

 

[melchi]

Here: I asked co-pilot to change it to tagalog

I don't speak it... is it bad? I'm not sure.

Ang paglalakad mula kusina hanggang courtyard ay isang pagsubok. Para makarating sa mga bisita ng Santo, kailangan kong tahakin ang paikot-ikot na maze ng maingat na ginupit na mga palumpong at patong-patong na fountain. Sa papel, parang nakaka-relax ang tanawin—parang therapy gamit ang tunog ng tubig. Sa totoong buhay? Isa itong taktikang bangungot.
“...”
Alam kong hindi lang basta “nakalimutan” ng mga tauhan sa kusina ang food cart; itinago nila iyon. Gusto nila akong magbitbit ng mga tray nang mano-mano—lantad, walang depensa. Habang tinitingnan ko ang makapal na halamanan, hindi ko maiwasang ikumpara ito sa mga lumang pelikulang Vietnam War na napanood ko noong nasa Earth pa ako—’yung tipong biglang magsisimulang magsalita ang mga puno sa wikang hindi mo alam bago sumabog ang unang flare.
Pero dito, ang “bala” ay mga basang dahon at malisyosong talsik ng tubig mula sa fountain. Kapag may isang dahon lang na dumikit sa pagkain ng mga panauhin, magkakaroon ng dahilan ang mga katulong sa kusina para tawagin akong “marumi” at bigong kawani.
Alam ko ang laro nila. Kasing-linaw ng kalangitan sa Chersea. At naghanda ako ng kontra-hakbang.
“!!!”
Pumasok ako sa “war zone” na parang sundalong tumatahak sa minahan. Sinusundan ko ang bawat kaluskos ng sanga at sinisilip ang bawat sulok na maaaring pagtaguan. Guro ako, oo—pero sa sandaling ito, isa akong beterano ng isang digmaang ako lang ang nakakaalam.
Lumundag kung kailangan. Panatilihing tuwid ang tray. Lumaban kung gusto mong mabuhay.
Sa mga pelikula, nasa paligid lang ang kalaban—nagtatago sa mga dahon, naghihintay ng isang sandaling pagkakamali. Hindi ko sila bibigyan ng kasiyahan. Ang kailangan ko lang ay tamang soundtrack para sa eksena.
“Hum-hum-hum… mmm… Paint it Black…” mahina kong inihuni ang mababa at buhaghag na ritmo ng Rolling Stones habang mabilis na gumagalaw ang mga mata ko mula palumpong hanggang palumpong papunta sa courtyard.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

I would watch out through.

Went from 200 words to 300 words. If 200 words gets the job done then adding that extra hundred might not be worth it.

Well, I'd like a confirmation about it (if it works), though it's quite difficult to ask people who aren't interested in what I've written.

I did the edits to improve on my narrative, which is hampered by my limited grasp of English literary language. So, as I cannot hire a professional editor (as it's expensive), the closest I can turn to is AI.

Still, the problems remain. Now, I'm even more confused of what to do.

Here: I asked co-pilot to change it to tagalog

I don't speak it... is it bad? I'm not sure.

I don't ask AI for translations, mainly because Tagalog/Filipino isn't a fully developed language outside the Filipino-areas in the US, and in the Philippines, so honestly, that translation sucked.

 

[melchi]

Well, I'd like a confirmation about it (if it works), though it's quite difficult to ask people who aren't interested in what I've written.

I did the edits to improve on my narrative, which is hampered by my limited grasp of English literary language. So, as I cannot hire a professional editor (as it's expensive), the closest I can turn to is AI.

Still, the problems remain. Now, I'm even more confused of what to do.

I don't ask AI for translations, mainly because Tagalog/Filipino isn't a fully developed language outside the Filipino-areas in the US, and in the Philippines, so honestly, that translation sucked.

Subjectively, trying to keep the word count down is better. Some of the phrasing.

Also paint it black is not actually about the Vietnam war, it is just something that everyone decided is about the Vietnam war. A rolling stones song that is actually about the Vietnam war is "Gimme shelter"

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Subjectively, trying to keep the word count down is better. Some of the phrasing.

Also paint it black is not actually about the Vietnam war, it is just something that everyone decided is about the Vietnam war. A rolling stones song that is actually about the Vietnam war is "Gimme shelter"

That part appeals to the pop culture, since Paint It Black is always associated with 'Nam.

Any case, thanks for the feedback, everyone!

@melchi @greyblob @Makimaam @Talon88.1 @Nitra_dai

 

[Eldoria]

Well, as a reader, I don't care if you use AI or not, all I care about is whether your story can provide an emotional experience for me. If you write comedy and your readers laugh, then your fiction is successful in terms of emotional impact. I won't dictate how you write or edit, but I will be honest about my experience reading fiction.

Use ink, pencil, or whatever to write and achieve the goal of a feeling experience for your readers. Ultimately, fiction lives on not how it is written, but how it lives in the memories and feelings of readers.

The question is, can you make your readers have an emotional experience?

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Well, as a reader, I don't care if you use AI or not, all I care about is whether your story can provide an emotional experience for me. If you write comedy and your readers laugh, then your fiction is successful in terms of emotional impact. I won't dictate how you write or edit, but I will be honest about my experience reading fiction.

Use ink, pencil, or whatever to write and achieve the goal of a feeling experience for your readers. Ultimately, fiction lives on not how it is written, but how it lives in the memories and feelings of readers.

The question is, can you make your readers have an emotional experience?

I don't know. From 2019, only one person read a work of mine up to the end, and that's it. After that? No comments. No feedback. How can I tell?

 

[Nitra_dai]

Well, as a reader, I don't care if you use AI or not, all I care about is whether your story can provide an emotional experience for me. If you write comedy and your readers laugh, then your fiction is successful in terms of emotional impact. I won't dictate how you write or edit, but I will be honest about my experience reading fiction.

Use ink, pencil, or whatever to write and achieve the goal of a feeling experience for your readers. Ultimately, fiction lives on not how it is written, but how it lives in the memories and feelings of readers.

The question is, can you make your readers have an emotional experience?

Toughest part. Generating an emotional experience is easier with visual stuff. Just through words... Not impossible but definitely a tough job

 

[Eldoria]

I don't know. From 2019, only one person read a work of mine up to the end, and that's it. After that? No comments. No feedback. How can I tell?

That's why asking for feedback is so important. You can use samples. Use representative chapters and ask your respondents. Feedback is useful for measuring the effectiveness of your narrative. Feedback doesn't always have to be technical; even simple emotional questions like "do you like this chapter?" or "how did you feel after reading it?" are also considered feedback.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

That's why asking for feedback is so important. You can use samples. Use representative chapters and ask your respondents. Feedback is useful for measuring the effectiveness of your narrative. Feedback doesn't always have to be technical; even simple emotional questions like "do you like this chapter?" or "how did you feel after reading it?" are also considered feedback.

I mean, I did that before, and still nothing. How can you ask for feedback when no one is answering in the first place?

 

[JessicaDrew]

For me AI editing for things like checking grammar and punctuation, asking it to look for overly repeating word choice, or asking it to look for places to punch up a description, perfectly fine.
When someone's just putting in 'write me a story vaguely around these characters and these themes', that's when it gets stupid.
Use AI as a proof reader or a bouncing board for your ideas, don't let it become the writer.

This is how I use it. Also feeding it my plot and asking it questions. Would it be better if my character discovers X fist before going on to do Y. Or should I get Z in place first. The moment it attempts to write something new for me I tell it off!

 

[Eldoria]

I mean, I did that before, and still nothing. How can you ask for feedback when no one is answering in the first place?

Dude... you're one of the legendary members here. If you reach out to someone or several people on this forum to give feedback, I'm pretty sure they'll be willing to help you. You never know until you try.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Dude... you're one of the legendary members here. If you reach out to someone or several people on this forum to give feedback, I'm pretty sure they'll be willing to help you. You never know until you try.

Sis, I may be a 'legend' but that comes from my drawings, not the writing.

And I reached to forum peeps whose opinion I trust, but no one replied so far.

And enough with the edits. I'd like to know if I should cotinue to write with what I put up. It's what led to me editing my work in the first place, to try to improve on it.