A quick question about romance

[scribesaga]

i'm writing an adult story about a succubus who yearns to be with a human and forms a loving attachment with him. The story was meant to originally be kind of short and sweet, but has evolved into something much longer. I'm now debating on breaking it up in two books, where the first book ends before they formally get together. But i wanted some advice from romance readers, are you ok with the ultimate payoff (the two characters getting together) taking a while to reach? Or do you need that payoff before the end of the first arc of the story?

 

[minacia]

I’m okay with a slow development as long as you give something nice and kyaaa maybe somewhere in the first arc even if they don’t actually get together.

You can look at Apothecary Diaries for an example.

 

[scribesaga]

Apothecary Diaries is great

 

[dukerino]

But i wanted some advice from romance readers, are you ok with the ultimate payoff (the two characters getting together) taking a while to reach? Or do you need that payoff before the end of the first arc of the story?

Two questions for ya:
1. Is it romance first and foremost, or is it more like a story happening with a strong romantic subplot?
2. How many words is each book?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I have not read a lot (have one I've tried writing though... kind of stalled around chapter 20 something) but I find the best ones that I've found in my wife's old collection bring the characters together fairly early (Perhaps avoid the Harlequin Romance/Hallmark movie trope of having it happen in the past though - that gets old pretty quickly), but it's just a physical thing or a mistaken identity or some such, and the character's either part ways or are forced apart, then grow slowly back together, often with one of them going out on a tangent with someone else (or APPARENTLY going off on a tangent) very briefly.

 

[Arkus86]

It really depends on the story and its focus, but in general, I'm OK with them getting together at the end of the story.
What I don't like, is when the characters get their "happily ever after" in one book/movie etc, only for the author to then pull out another, where there are suddenly complications in their relationship they have to overcome.
Is it realistic? Perhaps, but that's not why I dive into those stories. It feels to me like it invalidates the previous ending, cheapens the entire story up to that point.

 

[soupsabaw]

Ah, as a romance writer myself, I think it really depends. Slowburn is such a loved trope. My first romance-centered book I plan on posting when I'm done with my current has them flirting basically the entire novel and ends with them getting together in the last two chapters which is probably around 6,000 words VS the entire novel being around 50,000, so it's a small part of it. But I planned on doing a second book that was more like a collection of extras of them together. So, your idea is completely fine, especially if you plan on continuing the plot further. Just properly label your story with a slowburn tag, and I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[l8rose]

Both are good but if you do slow burn, make sure the pay off is developed. Don't end it with the equivalent of "and they rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after".

 

[TheIcMan]

The story was meant to originally be kind of short and sweet, but has evolved into something much longer.

Story of my fuckin life

But i wanted some advice from romance readers, are you ok with the ultimate payoff (the two characters getting together) taking a while to reach? Or do you need that payoff before the end of the first arc of the story?

Me like slow burn. What I don’t like is stories never showing the couple in an actual relationship.

 

[DireBadger]

I think that the power dynamic is hugely important to how the story progresses.

Is it a typical dominant-male, submissive-female bodice ripper type? That formula is very well known. They meet, have a decent romance scene for whatever reason early or halfway through because he impresses her, and then she does something stupid, rebels, or they have some kind of misunderstanding that makes it so they seperate and he eventually rescues her, declares his love, and then serious sex scene, book ends. time for book two.

Is it a progression? Then slow burn on both parts, and they don't even need a sex scene by the end of book one as long as there is lots of sexual tension. He doesn't need to advance, but she does, and it ends with her realizing there's something between them. He might take a while longer.

Is it typical Hollywood 'powerful female character' stuff? Then it doesn't need a real plot. All he needs to do is be rich, have a great body and a giant ****, and show up occasionally with flowers for lots of sex. She 'gets out of her own way and realizes she was powerful the whole time without the man holding her down', and all he requires is to be a bumbling boob with the IQ of a cabbage for her to decide he's mister right. Start book two. Think Chris Hemsworth in chickbusters. If it had a romance element, he would have fallen for Kristen Wiig at the end, happily ever after, and the movie would have been a lot less of an abomination as a goofy supernatural rom-com instead of a Tara Reid plastic surgery version of the '84 hit.

if it's a full-on equal relationship thing, then you had better have a couple of real-life sources to draw on, because that doesn't have any kind of easy formula, it changes for each story, and is tremendously audience and demographic dependent.

 

[OokamiKasumi]

i'm writing an adult story about a succubus who yearns to be with a human and forms a loving attachment with him. The story was meant to originally be kind of short and sweet, but has evolved into something much longer. I'm now debating on breaking it up in two books, where the first book ends before they formally get together. But i wanted some advice from romance readers, are you ok with the ultimate payoff (the two characters getting together) taking a while to reach? Or do you need that payoff before the end of the first arc of the story?

First:
-- Do you want this story to be ADULT?
or
-- Do you want this story to be ROMANCE?

There IS a difference.

In fact, there's a huge difference. Romance and Adult are two completely different Genres. Each focuses on, and details, different things. They also have different Plot patterns. Additionally, Adult fiction is split again into two different sub-genres. Erotica and Adult Adventure fiction, AKA: Erotic Romance.

Romance

While Romances can have Adult scenes, the Focus of the whole story is on Feelings and Emotions and DRAMA, so those are what need the highest detailing in the story. Dramatic secrets, angst, pining, misunderstandings, and Sexual Tension all need to be lovingly Detailed for pages and pages.
-- Adult scenes in these stories can easily be cut down to mere kissing scenes, and still satisfy your Romance reading audience.
-- The Plot only needs to frame the two main leads, and give them the occasional reason to Do things, like; show off for each other and possibly the occasional rescue, or escape.
-- The Love Confession generally happens in the second to last chapter, with the very last chapter being reserved for a wedding, a love scene, or some other show of happiness and affection. The End.

Adult

Adult stories focus on Action. Sex Action specifically, so Describing everything is Paramount.
-- The flowing silks, the sweeping vistas, the glittering palaces, the sweat dripping down her thigh... These scenes should appear in the Readers' minds as clearly as a Motion Picture -- especially if you are writing for a Female reading audience.

Erotica

Erotica is simple. The whole story focuses on the getting Sex, having Sex, then a paragraph or two on what happened after Sex.
-- The Adult action scenes are loving detailed in cinematic style: what the characters look like, what they feel like, what they smell like, what they taste like, what they sound like. Everything else is Unimportant -- including names. Locations are merely stages for the characters to have sex.

Basic Erotica Plot:
~~~~~~~~~~
They saw.
They conquered.
They came.
-- The End.

Adult Adventure AKA: Erotic Romance

If you're writing Adult Adventure Fiction, that Action is split between the Adventure and the Adult. The very least being 60% Adventure to 40% Adult -- and those Adult scenes need to be HOT, like Erotica -- and just as thoroughly Described.
-- Love Scenes are used to show the Progression of Affection as it grows between the two main leads. In other words, the closer the couple gets, the hotter and possibly kinkier, the Love Scenes should be.
-- The PLOT in Adult Adventure Fiction needs to be fully functional. Unlike a Romance, where the Plot is merely decoration and window-dressing to frame the two main leads, in Adult Adventure Fiction, PLOT is just as important as the Characters, and the Sex. In fact, the PLOT should be what compels the main leads to have Sex -- regularly.

Example:​

~~~~~~~~~~~~​

A succubus and a scholarly mage are trapped in a closet.​

-- The succubus has a crush on the mage, so she's been skipping meals because no one else compares. However, she's gotten very hungry. The mage rubbing up against her smells delicious.​

-- The mage has a crush on the succubus. She's so pretty and has been very attentive as his secretary with no hint of her...appetites. The succubus rubbing up against him smells of sugar coated strawberries -- and sex. He's getting hard fast, and isn't sure what to do about it. Also, his magic has been running a little low from all his work on a new spell. He could really use some...input from a willing magical source.​

​

"Um, Mr. Mage, why are we in the closet?"​

​

"I am so sorry, Ms. Succubus, but if I go out there, that Dark Scholar will try to drag me off to their Tower. They want my latest spell, you see. You're here because if I left you out there, they'd probably kidnap you as a hostage and likely do...bad things to you." He took a deep breath. "And...I just can't let that happen to you."​

​

"I mean that much to you?"​

​

"You're-- Your my important secretary. Of course, I...care what happens to you." He winced. "And...I'm a little low on magic at the moment. I haven't had time to...recharge."​

​

Cue: Sincere affectionate dialogue that leads to the succubus confessing her hunger, and the mage volunteering to assist her.​

The main problem I see,
is that one of your main characters is a Succubus. ​

This implies to the Readers that the story is going to be Adult, because succubi appear almost exclusively in Adult stories.

If you decide that Adult is Not the way you want to go, then you may need to change the Succubus into something Less sexually-oriented.

Also...

Watch how you Label your story.
-- If you Label your story Adult, the Readers will Expect Sex. Romance often has Love Scenes, so that label is safe to use. Just make sure you've got a heart-pounding angst-driven Drama for the Romance readers because that is what they are looking for.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want to read my other Writing tutorials?

 

[DireBadger]

My problem lately is that most of the stories coming out here, RR, and even KU seem to only have two modes... You get three-quarters of the way through only for the author to mention that the protagonist and secondary character might have casually... you know... faded to black, or there's literally no sex at all (which is sort of unbelievable considering mixed groups of twenty-year-olds that seem to populate these books.)

And then there's full-on, messy haremlit. Which would not be that bad of a thing if the haremlit actually had a decent story, some progression, plot complications, etc. I know a few writers can do that but it's still usually lazy plot-puzzle-mystery wise.

It is absolutely possible to have a great or even epic adventure story that ALSO has a strong romance sub-plot, because who doesn't want the hero to get the girl? My preferred genre is just shy of Ookami's definition of 'adult adventure', where there are some fairly strong romantic elements without the... no offense intended... constant and mentally-draining emotional introspection of an actual romance, tons of foreplay and flirting and maybe a slightly juicy scene, but none of that stereotypical pounding action.

Let's just say that once it gets to the point where hips are slapping together, the conclusion, or climax if you will, is pretty much the same plus whatever crosstalk you might add in. Frankly, it's kind of boring to write or read unless you are doing it with a napkin in your lap, and to me, if it's more than a single paragraph it's a waste of my time. The bits leading up to that? That's where you can really shine with creativity. descriptions of the guy licking his way down her spine even if it doesn't have any naughty bits at all can catch the attention.


There used to be books like that, but now? I guess the whole 'naughty adventure' thing has become unpopular.

For an example, Dead guys finish last chapter 8

 

[OokamiKasumi]

My problem lately is that most of the stories coming out here, RR, and even KU seem to only have two modes... You get three-quarters of the way through only for the author to mention that the protagonist and secondary character might have casually... you know... faded to black, or there's literally no sex at all (which is sort of unbelievable considering mixed groups of twenty-year-old (characters) that seem to populate these books.)

For Writers under 30, Fading to Black rather than writing out the sex scenes is actually pretty normal for that age group.

Writing Sex is Hard-- err, difficult. First one needs at least some experience in actually doing you know...sex to even know what to write. (Teen-age fan-fics only prove my point.) Porn and manga only give the visuals, it doesn't describe the feelings...err, sensations that actually make sex worthwhile. Romance novels can be just as shallow on sex, if not more so because they rely on the Drama of Love to sell those book, rather than sex -- especially anything put out by Harlequin.

Most of those in their 20s and under, are way too easily excited by the idea of sex. Too much so to actually pay attention to what they're doing while they're doing it. Which makes it very hard---err, difficult to describe what the hell they just did, in any kind of detail.

And that's the whole problem: DETAILS.

To write a sex scene, you need to Detail absolutely everything to make the scene work. As in: get the Reader hot and bothered. 'Cuz that's what the Reader is reading that scene for: to Be hot and bothered.

Now, once the writer gets into their 30's, writing sex takes on a whole new dimension because by then, the writer is no longer so easily entertained by sex in general. They're ready to add a bit of spice to their sex...that they Write.

If they haven't been utterly railroaded from writing at all by jobs, kids, in-laws, the PTA, and other mundane distractions.

And then there's full-on, messy haremlit. Which would not be that bad of a thing if the haremlit actually had a decent story, some progression, plot complications, etc. I know a few writers can do that but it's still usually lazy plot-puzzle-mystery wise.

Those stories tend to have very young Male reading audience. Late middle school to high school. These readers are boys that have no interest in having any kind of relationship, and every interest in viewing, groping, and laying as many female bodies as they can.

That reading audience is perfectly happy with simple plots that feature power-ups, battles easily won, and a bunch of females happy to be within hand's reach.

It is absolutely possible to have a great or even epic adventure story that ALSO has a strong romance sub-plot, because who doesn't want the hero to get the girl?

Agreed.

My preferred genre is just shy of Ookami's definition of 'adult adventure', where there are some fairly strong romantic elements without the... no offense intended... constant and mentally-draining emotional introspection of an actual romance, tons of foreplay and flirting and maybe a slightly juicy scene, but none of that stereotypical pounding action.

LOL! I had a lot of male readers ask me why I had so much sex in my adventure novels. You should have seen the fit they threw over my hard-core BDSM Sci-Fi series. I kept getting emails asking why I had so much sex in a perfect acceptable sci-fi. (I did my FTL and nano-tech research!)

Well, that's what my female reading audience wanted, so that's what I wrote. It STILL pays well.

Let's just say that once it gets to the point where hips are slapping together, the conclusion, or climax if you will, is pretty much the same plus whatever cross-talk you might add in. Frankly, it's kind of boring to write or read unless you are doing it with a napkin in your lap--

If you don't have a napkin and a box of tissues to read or write a sex scene, you're doing it Wrong.

Or the writer that you're reading did a piss poor job of balancing the sex with the story.

-- to me, if it's more than a single paragraph it's a waste of my time.

Clearly, you haven't read any Good adult adventures.

The bits leading up to that? That's where you can really shine with creativity. descriptions of the guy licking his way down her spine even if it doesn't have any naughty bits at all can catch the attention.

If the Foreplay is exciting, the sex should be just as exciting. If it's Not, then the writer failed their readers.

There used to be books like that, but now? I guess the whole 'naughty adventure' thing has become unpopular.

For an example, Dead guys finish last chapter 8

It's not that they're unpopular -- in fact it's the opposite. They're so popular that the writers are pulling from the free story-post sites to sell them on pay sites.

Or worse, self-publishing/vanity-press them on Amazon. (I am looking at You: Bog Standard Isekai.)
-- Never realizing that every story Amazon vanity-presses, Amazon retains the Copyright--permanently. I am not joking. Any story self-published/vanity-pressed on Amazon, cannot be published by any other publisher because once they publish it through Amazon, Amazon owns all rights to it. It's in the small print. It's really hard to find, but it IS in there. It's like, 4 or five pages deep, but it's in there.

 

[DireBadger]

-- Never realizing that every story Amazon vanity-presses, Amazon retains the Copyright--permanently. I am not joking. Any story self-published/vanity-pressed on Amazon, cannot be published by any other publisher because once they publish it through Amazon, Amazon owns all rights to it. It's in the small print. It's really hard to find, but it IS in there. It's like, 4 or five pages deep, but it's in there.

Woops, Maybe I broke a few rules, then. After a few of my books through Kindle Create started losing popularity, I pulled them from KU and re-released them elsewhere, based on dropping the exclusivity clause. I love KU, don't get me wrong, but they get really nasty about deprecating stuff that hasn't been heavily advertised. To the point where literally searching Amazon with the actual unique book title might not bring your published work to even the fiftieth search screen.

I am not really a fan of the term 'vanity press' though, because it was coined a while back to refer to people who pubished hardcopies of their own books to give to friends and family. I don't work through a publisher because I actually enjoy re-reading and editing my own works, and my stuff probably isn't good enough for submission. I mean, if you don't like your own books enough to read them again later, you might be doing something wrong.

But I make enough for rent selling them, and to be fair, pretty much no one I know in real life reads my stories, and obviously, BB Shelbie and Dire Badger are not my real names. I write books to sell, and hopefully populate my Patreon, and while yeah, I am a thousand times as humble as anyone else (snort), I am not sure that the term vanity press really applies to digital books.

Clearly, you haven't read any Good adult adventures.

Sure I have, but not in... decades. They just seem hard to find. Some of the Russian writers seem to come close, but they tend to have a host of their own problems, based on cultural assumptions that don't... quite... match western traditions, even traditional conserative or medieval traditions.

Laurell Hamilton was pretty good for a while, and then she hit fifty and went sex-crazy and turned all of her books into weird porn, starting with anita blake six. Mercedes lackey's fairy tale series was pretty much just about right although it could have gone just a hint farther with the sexy stuff.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

For those in their 20's and under, Fading to Black rather than writing out the sex scenes is actually pretty normal for that age group.

I'm in my fifties and prefer the fade to black as both a writer and a reader.

Or worse, self-publishing/vanity-press them on Amazon. (I am looking at You: Bog Standard Isekai.)
-- Never realizing that every story Amazon vanity-presses, Amazon retains the Copyright--permanently. I am not joking. Any story self-published/vanity-pressed on Amazon, cannot be published by any other publisher because once they publish it through Amazon, Amazon owns all rights to it. It's in the small print. It's really hard to find, but it IS in there. It's like, 4 or five pages deep, but it's in there.

There are at least three different levels of publishing with Amazon - one does sacrifice permanent rights, one gives a conditional thing and one bars you from selling it anywhere else, but not from sharing it. Had someone explain all this to me about eight or nine months back. Just read through anything you sign with them before signing, and look into other options, both on their site and elsewhere.

Laurell Hamilton was pretty good for a while, and then she hit fifty and went sex-crazy and turned all of her books into weird porn, starting with anita blake six. Mercedes lackey's fairy tale series was pretty much just about right although it could have gone just a hint farther with the sexy stuff.

I know someone who was a casual acquaintance of Hamilton up through about book eight or nine (when they just drifted apart, no specific reason given at the time). He knew some friends of hers who introduced her to erotica when she was writing book four, and she became obsessed with it, to the point that it took over five of her next seven books.

 

[Valmond]

Why do I keep walking in on this stuff?

 

[OokamiKasumi]

Why do I keep walking in on this stuff?

Just lucky I guess! :)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woops, Maybe I broke a few rules, then.

Lucky!

I am not really a fan of the term 'vanity press' though, because it was coined a while back to refer to people who pubished hardcopies of their own books to give to friends and family.

No one likes the term vanity-press. Especially those using one.
-- The screaming all started because there were quite a few vanity press publishers out there pretending to be actual publishers. People lost a lot of money to them think they were going to be on the bookshelves of bookstores, only to find out later that bookstores won't touch self-published books of any kind. Still won't.

The internet changed how people buy books.
The ePublishers changed how people published books.
Those two combined changed everything.

The main NY publishing houses no longer have the monopoly on book sales -- and they hates it.

I don't work through a publisher because I actually enjoy re-reading and editing my own works, and my stuff probably isn't good enough for submission. I mean, if you don't like your own books enough to read them again later, you might be doing something wrong.

I go through a publisher because I am a terrible editor. I cannot be trusted with punctuation.

But I make enough for rent selling them...

Me too!

--and to be fair, pretty much no one I know in real life reads my stories, and

I- I can't say that. I was recognized in a Grocery Store.

"Are you that <author name> that writes..those books?"

Why yes. Yes I am.

Freaked my friend out who was with me at the time.

First time I pulled a book of mine down off the shelf in a bookstore, I cried my eyes out.
Store clerk freaked out, then had me sign the book.

-- obviously, BB Shelbie and Dire Badger are not my real names.

Change it.
-- Use a HUMAN NAME for a pseudonym, not an internet handle! Your internet readers cannot Google to find you and your new books should you change your name for a publisher! No publisher will touch anyone with a Handle for a name.

I write books to sell, and hopefully populate my Patreon, and while yeah, I am a thousand times as humble as anyone else (snort),

Patreon is Good. They have an excellent rep.

I am not sure that the term vanity press really applies to digital books.

It applies.
-- There are publishers that publish digital books that they print on reader demand. My publisher, for example.

Vanity Press = Self-Publishing
-- The definitions are identical. One just uses a fancier word.

Sure I have, but not in... decades. They just seem hard to find.

The better Adult Adventures are hard to find because the bulk of them are ePublished -- like mine. NY never did figure out how to do Adult Adventures properly.

Some of the Russian writers seem to come close, but they tend to have a host of their own problems, based on cultural assumptions that don't... quite... match western traditions, even traditional conserative or medieval traditions.

I noticed.

Laurell Hamilton was pretty good for a while, and then she hit fifty and went sex-crazy and turned all of her books into weird porn, starting with anita blake six. Mercedes lackey's fairy tale series was pretty much just about right although it could have gone just a hint farther with the sexy stuff.

Actually, she lost her mind when her husband ran off with her secretary. I was there. It was a mess. She completely ruined the character she modeled her husband on out of spite. I was in the room when she freely admitted it.

She and I have similar writing styles. I just know better than to base my characters on people I actually know. That, and I actually PLOT my stories. She writes by the seat of her pants -- which is why after she opted out of using an Editor, her later books are all over the place.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm in my fifties and prefer the fade to black as both a writer and a reader.

Oh, ouch. that shouldn't have been admitted to in public. Especially on a site populated by young readers and writers. They have opinions on people over 40.

There are at least three different levels of publishing with Amazon - one does sacrifice permanent rights, one gives a conditional thing and one bars you from selling it anywhere else, but not from sharing it. Had someone explain all this to me about eight or nine months back. Just read through anything you sign with them before signing, and look into other options, both on their site and elsewhere.

Good to know!

I know someone who was a casual acquaintance of Hamilton up through about book eight or nine (when they just drifted apart, no specific reason given at the time).

I was one of those casual friends.

He knew some friends of hers who introduced her to erotica when she was writing book four, and she became obsessed with it, to the point that it took over five of her next seven books.

Ahh... There was a bit more going on than just that.
-- Her husband was caught cheating on her with her personal secretary, then the messy divorce, then the stalker where she had to hire a professional body guard, then all the 'encouragement' to write sex, then the ah...dating spree...

Yeah, it was a bit of a busy time during books 4, 5, and 6.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I was one of those casual friends.


Ahh... There was a bit more going on than just that.
-- Her husband was caught cheating on her with her personal secretary, then the messy divorce, then the stalker where she had to hire a professional body guard, then all the 'encouragement' to write sex, then the ah...dating spree...

Yeah, it was a bit of a busy time during books 4, 5, and 6.

Ah - yeah, I guess that could trigger it.
Ouch... I had several friends who got into the books BECAUSE of the sex stuff ... and even more who stopped reading them when it took over.
And one who kept with it and proudly announced Laurel was "back" when book ... eleven, I think it was ... dropped and only had two (one very detailed) sex scenes. As for myself, I was given book eight I think, or maybe it was six the same month eight came out to read before I knew what it was; I barely forced my way through it, and had to have five separate people convince me that book one was worth my time after that. Have not read any since but do agree that book one WAS definitely worth reading.

 

[OokamiKasumi]

Ah - yeah, I guess that could trigger it.
Ouch... I had several friends who got into the books BECAUSE of the sex stuff ... and even more who stopped reading them when it took over.
And one who kept with it and proudly announced Laurel was "back" when book ... eleven, I think it was ... dropped and only had two (one very detailed) sex scenes. As for myself, I was given book eight I think, or maybe it was six the same month eight came out to read before I knew what it was; I barely forced my way through it, and had to have five separate people convince me that book one was worth my time after that. Have not read any since but do agree that book one WAS definitely worth reading.

There, there... Poor thing... Bless your heart!

 

[DireBadger]

Yeah, Micah was where I wrote Hamilton off entirely. I tried to follow the Merry Gentry series and it was okay, if slow to publish, but I just got tired of dealing with all the stuff she was going through as a reader. I met her at a signing in Indiana, but she was....frenetic, which I guess must have been because of the crap she was going through. (She was actually rude to my wife when she presented a copy of 'nightseer'. I think she preferred to pretend that book was never written.)

I was kind of a friend of Mercedes Lackey back when she first got started writing, and we did the filk and Pennsic circuit for a while with Leslie Fisch and Teutonic Hammer, but then she moved out of state to start up her pigeon farm and started hanging with writers that were way out of my league and after the Last Herald-Mage exploded she kinda didn't have time for her old links, especially after off Centaur Publications went Belly up. One of the reasons I have a tough time trusting publishers... My writer was actually one of the singers in both the Crimson and Crystal album and the second Elfquest album and one of the background drumming for 'threes' was me on the cassette album.

And then I just changed my life (Go Navy!) and didn't come back to that sort of stuff until I started writing again 4 years ago. Heh. I am actually tooting my own horn. weird.

Going with a more 'normal sounding' nom de guerre might be a good idea, but my family is hardcore Mormon and I really don't want them to notice that I usually put at least one decent sex scene in my books. The problem is my real name is literally the most common name in America :P Heck, there's even a law of misfortune named after me, and if you consider the fact that my name is alliterative, I am betting you are smart enough to figure out exactly what my name is :P

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste. Pleased to meet you.