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I did this whole chapter as a conversation between four characters getting to know each other. I've never done this before. Beneath it is something going on that won't be clear until much, much later (chapter 100ish). My hope is that the reader won't pick up on it until it's explained in the...

[this is after reading only the first chapter] Ok. So your premise is a wounded soldier living his life suddenly is reborn into an infant, retains all his memories and stuff. It's a neat idea. This is a decent hook: "It has been three months since the fighting ceased, yet it all still feels...

Please forgive me, but I didn't make it halfway through the prologue. You have a ton of redundant detail that feels like you're trying too hard. I'm getting purple prose, basically. If you want to draw your reader in, you need them to ask questions. What happened? Why is it like this...

I added a few things to mine about a year ago, haven't touched it since. Maybe I'll add more later

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this. Make sure you have a compelling story to put into this world. I made that mistake—built up a whole world and thought it was great, and no one liked my protagonist

Start by asking yourself what is the conflict? What is the tension? Then keep your focus on that

I couldn't make it past the first paragraph. Another keyboard met its demise as it smashed against the white, plain wall. The keys clattered to the wood-tiled floor as a new dent was left in the drywall I know they tell you "use five senses" and "add details" but you can't add stuff at the...

1) listen to it. With a good screen reader you can hear a lot of Sims 2) read it backwards, one paragraph at a time 3) small bites for short periods of time help me to focus on spelling & grammar

It doesn't suck. You have a poetic way of bringing the world to life, still shrouded in mystery. You do have a lot of typos, but that's easily fixed with some more proofreading. Your biggest drag is the expository moments, telling the audience outright what happened [the world has come to an...

My story is about a peasant orphan who's sent off to war. There's action, suspense, political intrigue, love, betrayal, deeply felt emotions, pain, loss, shock, joy, and gut-wrenching choices between bad and worse. Ultimately, it will be a profound victory for truth, but that day is not today...

Here's mine if you want to swap: https://www.scribblehub.com/dashboard/

Length doesn't bore anyone. You can have 100 words of chaff and it's too long, or have 10,000 of gold and it's over too quickly. If this were my story, I'd take about 3000 words to walk through MC's day and have nothing happen, just introduce the audience to the world. Drop a few hints here...

I got mostly through the first chapter. It's rushed. love the premise. I love the idea behind this, and if you implement it right, it could really REALLY work. However, the writing is impatient. A lot of things feel rushed, especially when she gets the gun thingy. You have "monsters" but...

Here's my question: what's the story you want to tell?

I'm looking at my stats, and I think maybe I'm seeing a sharp drop somewhere after the first few chapters but I'm trying to figure out where my audience is losing interest. Any insight would be helpful https://www.scribblehub.com/series/967246/a-place-to-bloom/

I got about halfway through the prologue and lost interest. Here's a few points: - you start of with LOTS of info-dumping. Lots. It takes up all of your first few paragraphs. The problem is your audience doesn't have any context for all this information, so we're just going to forget it...

I'm curious. What is it that makes it feel like a novel? I started out as a web-novel, and it's always been a web-novel. I have no plans to release it otherwise. So I have to wonder where you're getting that impression from? Also where do you see 3rd person?

I got about halfway through and started wondering if this was written with generative tools. There's a lot of repetition and rephrasing, the restating, and a whole lot of words for not a lot going on. Then I read the comment at the bottom where you are at honest about it, which is good. So...

The link isn't working for me

I would recommend that you learn how to flesh out the scope. If you have too much going on, then you can't get into details that you need to to properly tell the story. If you have too little, you find yourself writing filler, which is NEVER good. It's one thing I've gotten way better at...