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I wonder which place suggested you to come here LMAO

I'm much more of a fan of same universe same timeline, but big ups to you for going in on your idea. Lord knows I don't have the brain capacity to start working now lmfao

Easy, just go the trails route and make short stories that all connect and continue one long story!

I for one would. Honestly I don't trust isekai writers lmfaoo. 95% of us are lazy.

Read chapter 1. So what kind of specific feedback are you looking for? Because not gonna lie, this is my type of shit. I have a few nitpicks about abruptness, tone shifts, typos, and pacing. For example, as much as I like how it's written, the first scene is completely unrelated to everything...

This is straight facts. It reads like a child's book and/or a Bible story. It's like... There's no story here. It's just a montage, as far as chapter one is concerned. It's telling everything instead of showing some things. "This is how everyone feels about each other". It's not engaging. And...

Mine would be the Eldred Family in my first real original story. Basically the Celestial Dragons from One Piece, except they're the only humans alive that can use magic.

Took a quick cursory glance at chapter 1. Whole birth scene was actually pretty neat. Personally would try to avoid using kangaroo, since it looks completely out of place amidst the mystical, magical vibe. The image you set out to make is definitely there, but it just feels weird. And your...

Question before I go into it: is this supposed to read like a fable/fairy tale?

Unrelated. Misumi Hats-Uika spotted.

Flashbacks to seirei gensouki :blob_cringe:

StoneInky joins the fray!!!! Might hop on this when I get to writing my story eventually. My heart is far too weak for Tempokai lmao :blob_evil_two:

Holy shit a positive overall review?? This is genuinely amazing. The inspiration is strong now

Commercial writing...... Took the time to make a snide comment so I might as well read it later. Definitely not a good first impression for me tho

Oh okay. Good explanation. I agree. I do feel like there needs to be degrees of what people call "show don't tell", because the way some folks declare it as be all end all is wrong. It's not "show 100%, tell 0%". It's a balance of what, as you said, is effective. But at the base level show...

Why..?

Yknow what, I'm pretty sure I'm just brain-rotted from years of apathy on the internet LMAO. But what @FieryLou said, those sentences in particular feel unnatural and uncanny. Like that last example just isn't something a human would write imo. And this kind of overly positive/flowery language...

Bros is it over for me? OP's reply looks entirely AI generated...... Edit: I'm like 1000% sure now.. but alas stupidity roams free in my empty head.

tutel and evil jumpscare :blob_hide:

The iteration series obviously!!!! But seriously uh yeah what's that lmao