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@IGEN Not gonna touch this because I'd just be repeating what is already said by others. But what I will do is offer a big piece of advice for you: start practicing on stronger verbs instead of adverbs. :blob_okay:

The six comments above me? Yeah, that's how you write a villain origin story in real life. :blob_popcorn:

Empathy doesn't echo in a vacuum. :blob_blank: What you've got going on is a description of physical sensation, and it's pretty damn vivid, but empathy isn't physical, it's relational. That's a distinction a lot of writing trips over. Readers don't respond to impact alone; they respond to...

I'm seconding this.

Do you know what the "attrition of meaning" is for characters? So, like the early conflict is passionate. Emotions are boiling over, popping loud, fiery, and reactive. Kind of like when a kid smacks another, they're either going to whine about it or be a good friend by sharing a returned palm...

Good question. Ask your readers. :blob_hide: That's a unfortunate fact on everything. Even if something has never done any wrong, it will offend somebody out there.

I'm not going to tell you if that is offensive or not because you already answered that; if you had the thought "Is this offensive?" then somebody else will have that same consideration.

Great, you've got me feeling like a creep for staring at her chest.

I'll definitely give that one a watch. Thanks for the rec! :blobthumbsup:

Oh, come on. You had to have felt something satisfying after Lloyd Frontera executed his vengeances. :blob_aww:

Not that I'm some veteran of revenge novels, but one thing that tends to tank them is starting off with this huge, burning desire for vengeance, something that would make both the author and readers practically boil, but then stretching the story out with too many side plots or character detours...

When I think of a self-insert, this character is what comes to mind.

The hardest part for me is the style I choose to write in. It's difficult, but incredibly fun. There isn't really a standard term for it, so I called it "Temporal Bleed" narration. The idea is that the thoughts and the narrated moment occupy the same second, so narration isn't retrospective...

Honestly, I don't know. Creating a voice for my characters is a secret kept even from me. :blob_blank: What I do know is that the more organically a character develops, like, you know, using their experiences, values, and reactions, then the more their voice seems to emerge on its own. At some...

Dude, that actually sounds ridiculously interesting. :blob_happy:

Wait, what? Does that actually work?

You should actually read over some of my comments; I said something similar. And as for why I publish it here? I'm bored. Wasting time to upload my imagination is actually kind of fun. :blob_cookie:

Now you have one idea out of many why I keep saying, here and there on the forum, not to write for your audience but for yourself. :blob_hide:

After reading the comments, yeah I know I'm beating a dead horse, but going to share it anyways. :blob_hide: The thread reminded me of this:

Merry X-mas and Happy Holidays! :blobchristmas: