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I grow a mouth, just so I can swallow my own tongue, choke on it, and die.

Just throw some change down a flight of stairs then name it after what you hear.

Well, bleeding doesn't happen until someone is in the negatives. Most RPGs are Binary damage. Here. Let me quote my guide. That is how a LITERAL RPG should work. But for some reason people add in debuffs and wound penalties. They don't EXIST unless it's a special attack. HPs are a reflection...

Oh. Well, I am. A Rules Lawyer stuck in a Literal RPG is basically d20 3.0/3.5, but with the serial numbers filed off. I rename some stuff and simplify some other things so that the reader doesn't get stuck in the weeds. I also am, to some extent, blending it with White Wolf, but only for the...

Doctor who started out with Just the doctor. Then he got a sonic screw driver. It was... a screw driver. That's it. It TURNED THINGS. Most of the time, The doctor solved problems by being smart, or using real world science in a fun MacGuyver way. Then we got Modern Doctor Who. The new doctor...

d20 3.0/3.5 is not dead. 3.5 is LIFE!

THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. DISNEY STAR WARS DOCTOR WHO

The wife just had her back injections. The scar left from the spinal tumor has been acting up. I doubt she'd be up for anything for a while. My only issue is, that my job is fairly random on when I'm mandated. I can't leave until I am relieved. I have been stuck 51 hours straight. NO. You don't...

When you write, you can basically increase the apparent intelligence of your character by one standard deviation. Basically about 20 IQ points, but since IQ is entirely subjective, it's hard to give a specific number. Remember, an IQ TEST has an AVERAGE of 100, NO MATTER WHAT. So you can only...

Not enough toilet paper. No matter what happens, there isn't enough toilet paper. No matter how little or much you crap, you will always need just one more wipe, but you can't because there isn't enough toilet paper. You have to live the rest of your life, just one more wipe away from being...

This.

My stories. My stories yes. No. I always know the right words.

You assume you have free will. Do any of us really choose anything? I vote for girl standing in snow.

That's easy to fix. Just read it. YOU WILL NOTICE THE MANY FLAWS AND WANT TO FIX THEM. Then read it again. And again And Again.

Good. If you aren't suffering, you aren't a writer.

You okay?

Well, YEAH. That's why it's in writing prompts. It is FICTION. I just find the idea of Vikings in a giant turtle to be supremely funny.

Okay. This monster ACTUALLY GETS BUILT. Then the world ends via BS of your choice. This thing becomes a Pirate ship that prowls the high seas looking for communities to pillage and people to capture and enslave. Because it was owned by rich people, it was full of very beautiful women the rich...

Wait... Do... your clothes talk or something?

I did that once. It got me banned. I'll skip that one. A Fire Axe. Item #: RPC-[PENDING] Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: Axe to be stored blade down in a metal block with blade embedded in said metal block. Revised Special Containment Procedures: Axe to be kept in...