ShrimpShady

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 12, 2026

My brother is absolutely fumbling the conversation with the Uber driver

Lying for no reason, creating misunderstandings, contradicting himself

He still got it.

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 12, 2026

Which side you on?

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 11, 2026

I can't believe just how bald LeBron's gotten now. My goat is washed

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 11, 2026

I think that instead of restaurants we should just have stoves and ovens everywhere. You know, like fire hydrants but they're stoves and ovens and maybe freezers where people keep the ingredients they don't use or stuff they donate. I'd chip in a shallot or two to get things going for my community

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 11, 2026

I love watching people destroy themselves physically, mentally, and socially to chase an unachievable ideal. Such drama

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 10, 2026

I feel like a lot of "greatest opening lines in literature" are just "the opening lines of classic novels"

"When he was nearly thirteen my brother Jem got his arm broken badly at the elbow" is not one of the greatest opening lines in literature

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  Macha

• Apr 10, 2026

Keep your virus to yourself

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=959955266415243&id=100072023348477

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 10, 2026

DB Cooper was the Zodiac Killer, but most aren't ready for this conversation

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 10, 2026

Wish we could get big city infrastructure without the big city "everything is far away"-ness

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 9, 2026

Wingstop cashier mispronounced my name and then laughed at it

I officially no longer support the working class. I am now a diehard capitalist

Water is not a human right. Busting unions > busting nuts. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps or die.

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 9, 2026

Shromp Rule #

Couples who wear matching clothes will receive unfavorable reincarnations

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Hanging out with women and they try something on at a store so that one is forced to repeat "It's giving..." followed by a random noun, verb, celebrity, visual aesthetic, book genre, mineral, time period, etc. until they deem your answer satisfactory

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Walked into a restaurant that I'd been curious about for a while only to find out it's way more expensive than I thought

I can sense the waitress judging me for being an out of place brokie

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

Reverse 1999 designs so good they almost manipulated me into installing a gacha game

Not today Mammon

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 8, 2026

I hope time isn't linear because I want to be reincarnated as a Steppe Nomad robbing fools on the Silk Road

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 7, 2026

If I ever had shrimp babies, they'd have to be with a woman whose ethnicity is almost comically different from mine. I aim to create a never-before-seen ethnicity

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  JayMark

• Apr 7, 2026

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 7, 2026

I remember the time I got into a protracted online fight with a Mushoku Tensei pfp about whether or not Witch Hat Atelier was woke bullshit

Little did he know I hadn't read either series

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  ShrimpShady

• Apr 6, 2026

If I somehow got dummy rich and started driving a Rolls Royce and some brokie in a corolla rear-ended me, shit I don't think I'd even charge him for the repairs. In fact, I couldn't do that to him

I just have that much compassion for the working class, you see