Recent content by Jay_Nyctbloom

I guess I now understand the preference aspect of first vs third person. Most of the novels and stories I read are in first person. When I'm reading, it feels like I can immerse myself better in the story. Third person reads to me like I'm just spectating something happening, zero connection to...

Thank you for your reply and review. I appreciate your honesty, and I'm sorry to hear it didn't land right with you either. I'd like to address each point you bring up and ask for your opinion about what I could've done better. It's magic, so in my head, I gave it some leniencies that should be...

Thanks for the extensive review. I appreciate it. I think you're right in saying the scene feels rushed, and that's probably due to my giving myself an arbitrary word count I wanted each chapter to be at. I've come to learn it doesn't help focusing on word count or how long or short you want the...

Thanks! It did feel as if I was missing something; the emotion of the scene is lacking. I think this version does a much better job at showing Sophia's emotions during the confrontation. I'd love your opinion on this one too.

You're right, without context it's hard to grasp. Context: Ex-pornstar has died and been reincarnated as a succubus to save a dying world. Her goal is to become a businesswoman while also fulfilling her role. She has just left a dangerous area and has been picked up by a traveling noble boy...

Hey everyone, I just wrote my first real sex scene for my first novel, and I don't really have any friends who will give me feedback on it. Can you guys let me know if this scene is done in a way that lets you imagine it and how well it flows from one beat to the next?

Thank you for your feedback. While writing the first chapter, I spent more time wrestling with POV and tensing than I did writing it :ROFLMAO:. Glad you like it, will go back and edit that section to fit the POV I want it to. Swapping from DND third to solely first was a big hurdle.

Hello to anyone who may pass by this. I am an amateur writer who decided to start because story crafting DND was too much fun for a weekly session. I've been on the readers' side of manga, web novels, and light novels for almost 10 years at this point. Due to the lack of any large mainstream...