Recent content by Eldoria

Well, we all (authors) start with a single stroke of ink. At least his work is funny, fitting for its genre (comedy). I wouldn't be so careless as to label a writer as 'good' or 'bad.'

Dude... @Omarfaruq he calls you!

No comment (well, it's a comment). Personally, I never rate stories I haven't read or that don't meet my taste. But ratings actually reflect readers' tastes more than the quality of the content.

Dude... the members here already care enough about your thread. But if you don't reply, provide clarification, or fix it, how are we supposed to care?

Well, I won't beat around the bush. I've read the title, synopsis, and chapter 1 (prologue?). Here are my impressions: (1) The title is too generic and abstract. New readers will have a hard time imagining the direction of your story just from the title. I suggest you read this thread. (2)...

My thought: What feedback do you want?

Well, this is the reason why readers have difficulty focusing on your narrative. Because your narrative often shifts POV suddenly. Readers lose their visual anchor. Well, my advice... you should not focus on immersion first (show it, don't tell it). You should focus on the flow of the scene...

Okay, I'm following the logic of limited third POV. Dude, where is Aegis in the coliseum? How does he know such small details, like the audience clawed at the chain fence around the Metal floor? In limited third-person narrative, information is conveyed through the protagonist's perception...

Dude, which POV are you using? Omniscient third POV or limited third POV?

Well, I'm pretty sure you're an author who has integrity and artistic vision like @JayMark :blob_salute:

I agree with a fan... as a teenager, you tend to care about Naruto's idealism. But as an adult, you tend to understand Pain's realism. In the real world, the realities of geopolitics, nations, and war more closely follow Pain's logic, especially regarding the deterrent effect.