Another dumb but possibly entertaining idea.

[Representing_Tromba]

I've been thinking about some things my parents have been saying to me about the content of my book and I don't really want to change it but I get their sentiment. As a result, I have been thinking about making a separate version of my story that is 100% child and family-friendly. all cuss words will be replaced by flamboyant child-friendly alternatives like fiddlesticks, buttmunch, H-E-double-hockey sticks, and kicked in the potato sack. All descriptions of gore and blood shall be replaced by references to baking or something. drugs shall be replaced by candy and all of it will be referential innuendo to the original scene. Also, magic will be renamed friendship or something.

Because of this, I was wondering if any other author wanted to try this out for a comedy piece, like when they made a PG-13 copy of Deadpool and it was way funnier. I thought it might be funny to see what would happen if some of the more popular stories did a "family-friendly" spin-off. It would require very little editing but will require a lot of help from urban dictionary. Maybe it would bring in more of an audience too?

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Bro any author that does this would be an amazing drug dealer. "Ah fiddlesticks, would you like to buy candy?"

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Bro any author that does this would be an amazing drug dealer. "Ah fiddlesticks, would you like to buy candy?"

I feel like there are people worse than drug dealers who use that method a lot more and they aren't worthy of being compared to drug dealers.

 

[dummycake]

I see, I see...
Instead of kidnapping children, she takes them on a vacation so fun they would never want to go back home.
Instead of self-harm, she was upset and ate so much chocolate cake and that gave her a tummy ache.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

I see, I see...
Instead of kidnapping children, she takes them on a vacation so fun they would never want to go back home.
Instead of self-harm, she was upset and ate so much chocolate cake and that gave her a tummy ache.

Not necessarily where I was going with this but you get the gist. Instead of a sex scene the character just played smash really late at a sleepover or something.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Envy leaned her head to the side as her vampire friend leaned into tickle her with her fangs. "Ah fiddlesticks, my candy is melting right now."

 

[dummycake]

Not necessarily where I was going with this but you get the gist. Instead of a sex scene the character just played smash really late at a sleepover or something.

Instead of being bullied they didn't share their candy with her even if she asked

 

[Tyranomaster]

You know, kids these days rarely read physical books, so it's not nearly as detrimental to have physical copies of a book have swearing or gore. The kids get plenty of that online anyway.

 

[dummycake]

You know, kids these days rarely read physical books, so it's not nearly as detrimental to have physical copies of a book have swearing or gore. The kids get plenty of that online anyway.

Here comes the boomer

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Envy leaned her head to the side as her vampire friend leaned into tickle her with her fangs. "Ah fiddlesticks, my candy is melting right now."

The two vampires heated up the oven, cooking their clams. When the clams were ready they rubbed them together. You could hear the giggles and odd sounds from anywhere in the castle. They playfully exchanged the seafood, and took bites out of each others.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

You know, kids these days rarely read physical books, so it's not nearly as detrimental to have physical copies of a book have swearing or gore. The kids get plenty of that online anyway.

You're not wrong but there are still enough worried parents that want their kid reading stuff they approve of through ebooks and other media forms.

The two vampires heated up the oven, cooking their clams. When the clams were ready they rubbed them together. You could hear the giggles and odd sounds from anywhere in the castle. They playfully exchanged the seafood, and took bites out of each others.

I hate how sensual that sounds despite being a completely normal IRL activity to cook and eat clams with a "friend."

 

[RepresentingWrath]

 

[Tyranomaster]

Here comes the boomer

The sad thing is I'm 28 and teach, and so it's even worse than you think.

 

[georgelee5786]

"Would you like to buy some death sticks twizzlers?"

 

[dummycake]

The sad thing is I'm 28 and teach, and so it's even worse than you think.

Meaning you have contact with children every day?

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

It would be faster and easier as a Author to just make a separate story instead.

#1 One story is 18+, don't share it with your PG-13 parent.

#2 The other story is PG-13, which you may share or not.

#3 Maybe the other one is All-ages, something you can just share with your whole family.

Censoring and filtering is a heavy, boring and soul-crushing repetitive work that you pay someone else to work with. It will slow down your writing time.

It also may screw with your story pacing and flow as a whole. Freedom is priceless as independent Author.

It's like buying economic car and modifying it to be fast. Even if it be fast, it won't be as good as car that was fast from factory.

It's better to just get a different car that's fast from beginning.

It's the same as getting fast car and expecting it to be as economical as the cheap car.

It's better to just get economical car for economy.

Want fast car and economic car ? Buy both of them, use it separately.

And please dont look at Deadpool PG-13 funny copy as inspiration without heavy grains of salt. Rebuilding 18+ story into pg-13 isn't made by one author, it's made by paid writers group of the studio or company whatever.

well,

This is not the first time another author has shown their parents a 18+ work and they berate it because it's not PG-13.

This is not the first time an author has been thinking about this and trying to make their established work filtered and censored.

That's my opinion.

 

[Tyranomaster]

Meaning you have contact with children every day?

Most days, yes.
Oh, they'll "read" a book when they're supposed to. But if you pay attention, most kids will have the same 50k word book for a whole semester. Either their reading skills are seriously lacking, but they somehow text at 100 wpm, or they're only pretending to read to pass through reading periods.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

The two vampires heated up the oven, cooking their clams. When the clams were ready they rubbed them together. You could hear the giggles and odd sounds from anywhere in the castle. They playfully exchanged the seafood, and took bites out of each others.

I should write the full sex scene without making it obvious that it is a sex scene.

 

[dummycake]

swearing or gore

I KNOW you played violent video games and watched gory horror movies.

kids these days rarely read physical books

Kids mostly read books when the only source of entertainment was books, so like, millions of years ago.
The average kid don't want to read some boring book, just the curious and nerdy kids.
It was like this and it will always be

 

[Tyranomaster]

I KNOW you played violent video games and watched gory horror movies.

I partook in plenty a violent video game with friends (CoD), but I was always more of an RPG and MOBA nerd. I also didn't care for gory horror movies, but I would (like a sociopath) browse through 4chan rekt threads at fairly regular intervals. Watching real people get mutilated in your teens really desensitizes you to pretty much everything.