Your Opinions on my Magic System

[ElderGodYoruba]

I've taken some time to tweak and perfect my story before fully writing it and one of the things I've worked on was the magic system. So I would like your opinion on it to see if it's at least mildly interesting. I wanted to establish a semi futuristic setting with Lovecraftian elements so I hope you enjoy it.

Two types of Magic: Wycantax & Espers


Wycantax

Wycantax also known as Wiccan Text is a special coding series that encapsulates 90% of all possible spells and rituals. Used in computers and devices to break down complex rites Wycantax is used in the creation of Aether Apps and Aether Engines. This has massively simplified life and means of living drastically reducing the cost of carbon emissions (for those who can afford it) and opened not only the labor force but advance technologies such as teleporting transit systems, truly interactive home experiences, and non invasive medical procidures. However unbeknownst to the general public the number of Aether Apps currently used is 3% of the possible spells that could be available due to many of the symbols being too closely tied to Ley based entities.

Outer science
This is regarded as a well guarded secret and known by only a select few groups such as ley based cults and clandestine government orginisations. Outer science deals with the research and understanding of a wide and varied realm known as the Ley that seems to connect realms beyond time and space. Here several entities have been found and are seen as threats to humanity especially due to the use of certain wycantax characters, discovery only made after the event known a 9/9.
Since then research into the ley has become restricted and heavily monitored with research institutes such as Cascus High and private firms such as Insmarsh inc becoming hubs for ley exploration and outer science development.

+++​

Espers
Those born with an innate connection with the Ley develop unique psychic powers that typically develop overtime. The acceptance of espers is rather mixed however many see them as lucky to be blessed with such gifts and dangerous due to the scale and scope of their powers. Espers however rarely reach their full potential without proper equipment or education with only a few select institutions being fitted to do so.

Espers have been broken down into four tiers based on their ability and general connection to the ley and are required to have a respective designation added to their ID and formal documentation.

Weak
Weaker connections to the ley only allow espers to interact with ghosts and remnants, this causes many espers of this type to become exorcists, investigators, or cryptid hunters. However many have noted a distinct sense of distress compared to other more powerful espers.

Average
Those with an average connection to the ley are able to achieve a near constant flow state gaining heightened senses and reaction speed along with seemingly uncanny abilities such as telepathy and even astral projection. However for many these abilities appear to be one way and has caused many with this ability to live fairly regular lives with a select few using their abilities during criminal investigations, spying, and most commonly therapy.

Strong
Those with a strong connection to the ley are able to achieve truly superhuman feats calling upon the unnatural physics of the ley to exact their will upon the world. These acts are very clear and at times devastating as things such as levitation and psychokinesis have levied swaths of damage from untrained espers. However once trained these espers are able to use their abilities fairly liberally with many going into jobs such as entertainment and media, emergency rescue, and mass construction.

Extra-Planar Espers
These creatures are subjects that are seen as either a foreign species or simply inhuman. This is due to them holding unnatural amounts of power that rented many scientific understandings moot. Those deemed to be an EPE are either monitored, captured, or more commonly terminated to ensure that common reality isn't infringed upon. Many EPE’s are considered simple extensions or creatures under ley based entities and are given unique designations.

There have only been 15.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

TLDR.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

While it is great that you take time to plan and create rules for your system before writing it, you can't 'perfect' your work without actually writing the story itself. Reason is, you develop your story as you write, and what may seem perfect in your plans might not be the best in execution itself.

Now, as for your system plans, yes these are great descriptions. However, what will matter to the reader is your narration itself. Too much terms and there's the risk of confusing them. Too little explanation, and they might not get the concepts before the story. Too much explanation, and the danger of infodumping looms.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Me pea brain reader, I only care about one thing: results spectacle.

 

[Sola-sama]

While it is great that you take time to plan and create rules for your system before writing it, you can't 'perfect' your work without actually writing the story itself. Reason is, you develop your story as you write, and what may seem perfect in your plans might not be the best in execution itself.

Now, as for your system plans, yes these are great descriptions. However, what will matter to the reader is your narration itself. Too much terms and there's the risk of confusing them. Too little explanation, and they might not get the concepts before the story. Too much explanation, and the danger of infodumping looms.

I second to this.

Years ago, I designed an elaborate magic system and whatnot, but due to my insufficient skills in narrating a story, they become info-dumpy. I know it's tempting to elaborate an idea that you think is good because it's yours, but the readers do not possess your omniscient point of view, they do not know the full depth of your system and therefore unable to understand fully why it is amazing in the first place. You have to elaborate your magic system as your story progresses, otherwise you're not writing a story but a wikipedia page. (I knew this because I literally did that in my early days of writing).

On a side note, I think you shouldn't limit your system so rigidly. Give the magic system options to grow or expand as your story progresses (again, I am not aware of the full depth of your system), unless of course, you know full well of where you're going with your story and therefore not having to expand them, ever.

 

[NotOriginal]

The magic system but is it a soft or hard power system? Like are there any core rules that one cannot break?

 

[BigBadBoi]

While it is great that you take time to plan and create rules for your system before writing it, you can't 'perfect' your work without actually writing the story itself. Reason is, you develop your story as you write, and what may seem perfect in your plans might not be the best in execution itself.

Now, as for your system plans, yes these are great descriptions. However, what will matter to the reader is your narration itself. Too much terms and there's the risk of confusing them. Too little explanation, and they might not get the concepts before the story. Too much explanation, and the danger of infodumping looms.

This. If you're gonna explain your magic system in depth then put it in an extra sidechapter that is easily skippable.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I've taken some time to tweak and perfect my story before fully writing it and one of the things I've worked on was the magic system. So I would like your opinion on it to see if it's at least mildly interesting. I wanted to establish a semi futuristic setting with Lovecraftian elements so I hope you enjoy it.

Two types of Magic: Wycantax & Espers


Wycantax

Wycantax also known as Wiccan Text is a special coding series that encapsulates 90% of all possible spells and rituals. Used in computers and devices to break down complex rites Wycantax is used in the creation of Aether Apps and Aether Engines. This has massively simplified life and means of living drastically reducing the cost of carbon emissions (for those who can afford it) and opened not only the labor force but advance technologies such as teleporting transit systems, truly interactive home experiences, and non invasive medical procidures. However unbeknownst to the general public the number of Aether Apps currently used is 3% of the possible spells that could be available due to many of the symbols being too closely tied to Ley based entities.

Outer science
This is regarded as a well guarded secret and known by only a select few groups such as ley based cults and clandestine government orginisations. Outer science deals with the research and understanding of a wide and varied realm known as the Ley that seems to connect realms beyond time and space. Here several entities have been found and are seen as threats to humanity especially due to the use of certain wycantax characters, discovery only made after the event known a 9/9.
Since then research into the ley has become restricted and heavily monitored with research institutes such as Cascus High and private firms such as Insmarsh inc becoming hubs for ley exploration and outer science development.

+++​

Espers
Those born with an innate connection with the Ley develop unique psychic powers that typically develop overtime. The acceptance of espers is rather mixed however many see them as lucky to be blessed with such gifts and dangerous due to the scale and scope of their powers. Espers however rarely reach their full potential without proper equipment or education with only a few select institutions being fitted to do so.

Espers have been broken down into four tiers based on their ability and general connection to the ley and are required to have a respective designation added to their ID and formal documentation.

Weak
Weaker connections to the ley only allow espers to interact with ghosts and remnants, this causes many espers of this type to become exorcists, investigators, or cryptid hunters. However many have noted a distinct sense of distress compared to other more powerful espers.

Average
Those with an average connection to the ley are able to achieve a near constant flow state gaining heightened senses and reaction speed along with seemingly uncanny abilities such as telepathy and even astral projection. However for many these abilities appear to be one way and has caused many with this ability to live fairly regular lives with a select few using their abilities during criminal investigations, spying, and most commonly therapy.

Strong
Those with a strong connection to the ley are able to achieve truly superhuman feats calling upon the unnatural physics of the ley to exact their will upon the world. These acts are very clear and at times devastating as things such as levitation and psychokinesis have levied swaths of damage from untrained espers. However once trained these espers are able to use their abilities fairly liberally with many going into jobs such as entertainment and media, emergency rescue, and mass construction.

Extra-Planar Espers
These creatures are subjects that are seen as either a foreign species or simply inhuman. This is due to them holding unnatural amounts of power that rented many scientific understandings moot. Those deemed to be an EPE are either monitored, captured, or more commonly terminated to ensure that common reality isn't infringed upon. Many EPE’s are considered simple extensions or creatures under ley based entities and are given unique designations.

There have only been 15.

I understand everyone else's opinion, and quite frankly, think their opinion is shiitake mushrooms. You did not ask for how it applied into the story itself, for how this would work as a chapter, nor for anything for the writing capability involved in describing your magic system, you asked for what we think about the magic system itself. Kind of disappointing everyone's advice/opinion is missing the ball on this.
It is an absolutely wonderful and fascinating magic system, period.
There is a boatload of potential and so much to be explored within the story because of this super unique magic system. It is interesting to see how it impacts the world itself, and it's honestly really cool. I love the drawing on stuff like ley lines and such, and how the magic works is restricted in a way that's really nice and gives it both potential and the world itself a unique flavor. The focus on psychic powers and Lovecraftian entities is a definite hook.
Perhaps I have raved overmuch... NAH! This magic system is a classic start to a novel that you don't really see much in web fiction (or if it's there, it's buried under all kinds of more popular genres) and I am all for it. It's a nice departure from mana and Qi and what-have-you. And the drawing on Wiccan religion or just lore (I will freely admit that I have zero understanding of it, unless you count Marvel's Runaways... which I don't) gives it a delightful feel to it too.
Edit: Also, it does not feel too restricted at all, unlike what Sola-sama said. There is plenty of possibilities already, with many opportunities for growth and improvement as far as I can see. Not only that, even if this was restricted further, going the opposite of what Sola-sama said, there is an absolutely insane amount of what can be done with this even then. You just need to make use of it creatively, which will boost the use of the precious gem you already have. Sometimes more is not better...
You all are crazy people, I want you to know that... messing with this perfectly good magic system... fools... *grumble, grumble*

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I understand everyone else's opinion, and quite frankly, think their opinion is shiitake mushrooms. You did not ask for how it applied into the story itself, for how this would work as a chapter, nor for anything for the writing capability involved in describing your magic system, you asked for what we think about the magic system itself. Kind of disappointing everyone's advice/opinion is missing the ball on this.
It is an absolutely wonderful and fascinating magic system, period.
There is a boatload of potential and so much to be explored within the story because of this super unique magic system. It is interesting to see how it impacts the world itself, and it's honestly really cool. I love the drawing on stuff like ley lines and such, and how the magic works is restricted in a way that's really nice and gives it both potential and the world itself a unique flavor. The focus on psychic powers and Lovecraftian entities is a definite hook.
Perhaps I have raved overmuch... NAH! This magic system is a classic start to a novel that you don't really see much in web fiction (or if it's there, it's buried under all kinds of more popular genres) and I am all for it. It's a nice departure from mana and Qi and what-have-you. And the drawing on Wiccan religion or just lore (I will freely admit that I have zero understanding of it, unless you count Marvel's Runaways... which I don't) gives it a delightful feel to it too.
Edit: Also, it does not feel too restricted at all, unlike what Sola-sama said. There is plenty of possibilities already, with many opportunities for growth and improvement as far as I can see. Not only that, even if this was restricted further, going the opposite of what Sola-sama said, there is an absolutely insane amount of what can be done with this even then. You just need to make use of it creatively, which will boost the use of the precious gem you already have. Sometimes more is not better...
You all are crazy people, I want you to know that... messing with this perfectly good magic system... fools... *grumble, grumble*

Not to pop your bubble man, but I see what you mean. It's just that, no matter how good your plan is, the execution is what matters in the end. That is what I'm saying. Did I answer his question? Yes, I told him it's a good plan/concept. Did I give him my own opinion as what he asked as well? Yes.

Thing is, planning is just one part of the writing process. We can create the best concepts, plan the great plots, but in the end, it's how we write our works that mattered to the readers. For short, while OP's plan is interesting/good, I believe it will serve him well to write his actual work instead of spending long hours/days perfecting his plans.

I've been there, done that. I planned my works, written good concepts for my own magic system. However, I realized that as I write my novel, some parts would be better off 'unplanned/discovered' as I go along. If you won't believe me, feel free to look up to my works online.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Not to pop your bubble man, but I see what you mean. It's just that, no matter how good your plan is, the execution is what matters in the end. That is what I'm saying. Did I answer his question? Yes, I told him it's a good plan/concept. Did I give him my own opinion as what he asked as well? Yes.

Thing is, planning is just one part of the writing process. We can create the best concepts, plan the great plots, but in the end, it's how we write our works that mattered to the readers. For short, while OP's plan is interesting/good, I believe it will serve him well to write his actual work instead of spending long hours/days perfecting his plans.

I've been there, done that. I planned my works, written good concepts for my own magic system. However, I realized that as I write my novel, some parts would be better off 'unplanned/discovered' as I go along. If you won't believe me, feel free to look up to my works online.

You gave them half a sentence, surrounded by 5 different qualifiers like "but" and such other stuff. That's... not saying it's a good plan or concept. It's just saying "Yeah, yeah. I understand what you want, so here's some lip service and now here's the meat of what I want to talk about instead." It's not even the first thing you mentioned.
One of the things commonly stressed in AP Tests, where there is a prompt you have to answer, is that you need to actually answer the damn prompt. You did not do that. The rating was so small, and thrown out of the way by all those qualifiers, that it was useless.
Edit: Not to mention, on top of my issue with failing to actually respond to the thread correctly (which is what it was by all metrics) all writers are different and respond to planning differently. Not to mention, stories themselves require different amounts of planning. In my first story "Charisma," free-wheeling and slowly expanding it worked perfectly, but in the fictions in the writing process: "The Bloodied Doctor" and "Fighting the Plot," they need a rigorous planned system.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

You gave them half a sentence, surrounded by 5 different qualifiers like "but" and such other stuff. That's... not saying it's a good plan or concept. It's just saying "Yeah, yeah. I understand what you want, so here's some lip service and now here's the meat of what I want to talk about instead." It's not even the first thing you mentioned.
One of the things commonly stressed in AP Tests, where there is a prompt you have to answer, is that you need to actually answer the damn prompt. You did not do that. The rating was so small, and thrown out of the way by all those qualifiers, that it was useless.

Yeah, you just assumed I did 'this' and said 'that', blah blah.

I mean what I say, if OP did not take it, it's their decision. Besides, I don't give a damn about your AP tests; we don't have those back here.

Edit: Not to mention, on top of my issue with failing to actually respond to the thread correctly (which is what it was by all metrics) all writers are different and respond to planning differently. Not to mention, stories themselves require different amounts of planning. In my first story "Charisma," free-wheeling and slowly expanding it worked perfectly, but in the fictions in the writing process: "The Bloodied Doctor" and "Fighting the Plot," they need a rigorous planned system.

An opinion is called an opinion because it's an opinion. Go look at the dictionary for its meaning.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Yeah, you just assumed I did 'this' and said 'that', blah blah.

I mean what I say, if OP did not take it, it's their decision. Besides, I don't give a damn about your AP tests; we don't have those back here.

I... am not assuming anything. Your answer is literally up there... in the chat. If you check it, less than half of a sentence is actually rating the system. Don't say it's a matter of assumption. One can clearly extrapolate from the lack of word service to the actual prompt that it was not what you were focusing on. I was just putting it into rude words to show how little focus you were showing.
Also... you are not supposed to care about the AP tests! You idiot! HA! It was simply comparison using an example from my life. You know, basic rhetoric? I will summarize my entire paragraph though, without the AP test example, if it bothered you so much. You went off topic like a car flying off the road.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I... am not assuming anything. Your answer is literally up there... in the chat. If you check it, less than half of a sentence is actually rating the system. Don't say it's a matter of assumption. One can clearly extrapolate from the lack of word service to the actual prompt that it was not what you were focusing on. I was just putting it into rude words to show how little focus you were showing.

I told him its good and interesting. I answered the question, and added a few of my own opinion. I don't know what's popping your bubble man. You need to chill. And that's called a 'thread reply', not a chat.

Also... you are not supposed to care about the AP tests! You idiot! HA! It was simply comparison using an example from my life. You know, basic rhetoric? I will summarize my entire paragraph though, without the AP test example, if it bothered you so much. You went off topic like a car flying off the road.

I don't know...maybe I live in another country with another system, you dumb-dumb.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I told him its good and interesting. I answered the question. I don't know what's popping your bubble man. You need to chill. And you tell me what rude word I put in there.


I don't know...maybe I was in another country with another system, you dumb-dumb.

I was saying that I was putting the message you were showing from your lack of focus into rude words. Not that you were saying rude words. Just that you were putting zero effort. And again, half a sentence is not answering the question. It counts for zilch.
And in answer to your second paragraph, I feel like you missed what I was conveying, but I am not sure how to rephrase it to make it better...

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I was saying that I was putting the message you were showing from your lack of focus into rude words. Not that you were saying rude words. Just that you were putting zero effort. And again, half a sentence is not answering the question. It counts for zilch.
And in answer to your second paragraph, I feel like you missed what I was conveying, but I am not sure how to rephrase it to make it better...

Yeah, probably because we're veering off topic. Any case, I'll humble myself and ask for apologies for the rude words.

In my defense, seriously, I told him my opinions and drew from my own experiences as an author as well. Good plans would remain as it is without proper execution, since I noticed OP was saying 'he wants to perfect his writing'. Good writing techniques come as we polish our skills.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Yeah, probably because we're veering off topic. Any case, I'll humble myself and ask for apologies for the rude words.

In my defense, seriously, I told him my opinions and drew from my own experiences as an author as well. Good plans would remain as it is without proper execution, since I noticed OP was saying 'he wants to perfect his writing'. Good writing techniques come as we polish our skills.

Totally understand that. Still respectfully disagree, but I can admit that I was quite heated. Though it heats me something fierce when arguments are repeated and points are not responded to, I should not have called you an idiot, nor used such an inflammatory tone.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Totally understand that. Still respectfully disagree, but I can admit that I was quite heated. Though it heats me something fierce when arguments are repeated and points are not responded to, I should not have called you an idiot, nor used such an inflammatory tone.

Tis fine my good man. It's fine we disagree.

And to OP, my apologies for hacking the thread as well >.<

 

[Sola-sama]

Edit: Also, it does not feel too restricted at all, unlike what Sola-sama said. There is plenty of possibilities already, with many opportunities for growth and improvement as far as I can see. Not only that, even if this was restricted further, going the opposite of what Sola-sama said, there is an absolutely insane amount of what can be done with this even then. You just need to make use of it creatively, which will boost the use of the precious gem you already have. Sometimes more is not better...

I somewhat understand what you mean.

Firstly, I apologize for not detailing what the 'restriction' I refer to. What I meant was the 'weak', 'average', 'strong', and 'extra-planar' level of differentiation between the espers in that system. What if an esper was so overwhelmingly powerful that their power should be ranked by extra-planar, but they are not omnipotent. What if they could only use their power once a day or once every ten years, or worse, they can only be used once in their lifetime? In this case, what if their power was non-lethal or destructive in nature: such as stealing 5 second of lifespan from every being in the known universe. If the stolen amount is added to their own lifespan, aren't they basically immortal?

In normal classification, they shouldn't even classify as 'weak', but if their special abilities/magic/psychic power or whatever you wanted to call it, is activated, it could shake earth, move celestial bodies, break stars or even wiped out civilization. Wouldn't it be unfair to group them similiary with those 'extra-planar' beings whose power is more stable and is constantly being a lethal threat to your civilization?

Edit: yes, I understand MonotonePuppet's opinion. You can restrict or even expand your magic system, but in the end, I still stand by my words and kinda support Hans': in the end, it is up to your creative imagination to use them as you see fit. I think your magic system has potential, and I also like to immerse and discuss about the technicals of a system and find out what can be and should be improved.

 

[LunaSoltaer]

I've taken some time to tweak and perfect my story before fully writing it and one of the things I've worked on was the magic system. So I would like your opinion on it to see if it's at least mildly interesting. I wanted to establish a semi futuristic setting with Lovecraftian elements so I hope you enjoy it.

Two types of Magic: Wycantax & Espers


Wycantax

Wycantax also known as Wiccan Text is a special coding series that encapsulates 90% of all possible spells and rituals. Used in computers and devices to break down complex rites Wycantax is used in the creation of Aether Apps and Aether Engines. This has massively simplified life and means of living drastically reducing the cost of carbon emissions (for those who can afford it) and opened not only the labor force but advance technologies such as teleporting transit systems, truly interactive home experiences, and non invasive medical procidures. However unbeknownst to the general public the number of Aether Apps currently used is 3% of the possible spells that could be available due to many of the symbols being too closely tied to Ley based entities.

Outer science
This is regarded as a well guarded secret and known by only a select few groups such as ley based cults and clandestine government orginisations. Outer science deals with the research and understanding of a wide and varied realm known as the Ley that seems to connect realms beyond time and space. Here several entities have been found and are seen as threats to humanity especially due to the use of certain wycantax characters, discovery only made after the event known a 9/9.
Since then research into the ley has become restricted and heavily monitored with research institutes such as Cascus High and private firms such as Insmarsh inc becoming hubs for ley exploration and outer science development.

​

Okay so right off the bat this is a highly magitech system. I assume your work has at least an tech level where siege engines would exist (IIRC the word "engineer" dates back to those guys who operated catapults and trebuchets.) or that magic-users in your setting are sufficiently cloistered so they can develop their own cultural vocabulary separate from the masses who would not have access to this (presumably. If Everyone Is Magic then that's a different story)

I'm not entirely sure how you're computing this 3% number. In a formal grammar, the number of possible permutations of a n-sized word, barring other rules of the grammar, scales to the number of glyphs raised to the number of positions. What this means is in non math terms, is say your system has 10 glyphs people know about, and for now let's just care about 4-letter words (because i'm vulgar.)

You can cast up to 10,000 different four-letter words in that fashion (10^4. Note I don't know your implementation details so I may be wildly off-base). Now you have Secret Symbols. Let's say there are five more secret symbols that ARE valid, but people don't know about them.

So really you're looking at 15^4, or 50,625 spells. That is a full factor of five!! from adding only 50% more symbols! Now let's scale this up to something more akin to a modern alphabet:

36 (stolen from 26 roman letters plus 10 arabic numerals) ^ 4 = 1,679,616
45 (just making up a number) ^ 4 = 4,100,625

45/36 = 1.25 (25% more symbols)
4,100,625 / 1,679,616 = 2.44 (144% more spells)

... Okay most of this is pretty silly and pointless on my end, but the point I'm trying to make is that without strict rules governing what can and cannot be a spell in your system, this can get out of hand pretty flipping quick.

I do like that your Outer Science is basically a way to be like "Oh Shit I forgot something critical in my work! Oh hey I have this GIANT SPACE ALIEN MAGIC THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ALL IT CAN DO and I'm good" (Just... don't rely on it TOO much.)

Expect to write about developers, testers, and yes, hackers. Also expect a lot of CS nerds to hop on your story and overanalyse it for the fuck of it (I'm not a CS nerd. I just did.)

When you build your Magic Programming Language, make sure you leave some opcodes undefined, or get someone really good at cracking puzzles to help you out, that way you don't write yourself into a corner. But make sure you don't torch your story over it!

Espers
Those born with an innate connection with the Ley develop unique psychic powers that typically develop overtime. The acceptance of espers is rather mixed however many see them as lucky to be blessed with such gifts and dangerous due to the scale and scope of their powers. Espers however rarely reach their full potential without proper equipment or education with only a few select institutions being fitted to do so.

Espers have been broken down into four tiers based on their ability and general connection to the ley and are required to have a respective designation added to their ID and formal documentation.

Weak
Weaker connections to the ley only allow espers to interact with ghosts and remnants, this causes many espers of this type to become exorcists, investigators, or cryptid hunters. However many have noted a distinct sense of distress compared to other more powerful espers.

Average
Those with an average connection to the ley are able to achieve a near constant flow state gaining heightened senses and reaction speed along with seemingly uncanny abilities such as telepathy and even astral projection. However for many these abilities appear to be one way and has caused many with this ability to live fairly regular lives with a select few using their abilities during criminal investigations, spying, and most commonly therapy.

Strong
Those with a strong connection to the ley are able to achieve truly superhuman feats calling upon the unnatural physics of the ley to exact their will upon the world. These acts are very clear and at times devastating as things such as levitation and psychokinesis have levied swaths of damage from untrained espers. However once trained these espers are able to use their abilities fairly liberally with many going into jobs such as entertainment and media, emergency rescue, and mass construction.

Extra-Planar Espers
These creatures are subjects that are seen as either a foreign species or simply inhuman. This is due to them holding unnatural amounts of power that rented many scientific understandings moot. Those deemed to be an EPE are either monitored, captured, or more commonly terminated to ensure that common reality isn't infringed upon. Many EPE’s are considered simple extensions or creatures under ley based entities and are given unique designations.

There have only been 15.

Question. Are these things in any way connected to the Outer Sciences? If so, that is AMAZING!!!

Like, were I involved at all, I'd suggest and argue that these Espers should BE the ley entities with symbols attached to them, that way your "two magic systems" are really the Same system, just with different applications!



Hans has a really solid point, though, and you shouldn't neglect your story. Your story is the delivery mechanism for your magic system, and you can have the most beautiful and intricate system in the world and if your story stumbles on it, it will crash.

For a good example of just how separate these two things are: Toph Bei Fong's magic consists of largely two things: Stomp ground, punch mineral.

I feel I'm also committing a sin in dedicating chapters to my MC learning about how to use Spell Circles, despite that due to their... let's say a corrupted bit that transformed their body in a way it shouldn't have, they are actually never able to use Spell Circles. I try to cover for it by making the dialogue at least a little interesting and having it be in a classroom environment, and having Spell Circles out in the wild for them to analyse, but it's still a miss and I really should have considered timeskipping it.

All in all, I like the basic idea. It feels like programming meets undefined behaviour, which WILL be old hat to programmers, but the people who dive into that sort of shit will love it.

Assuming, of course, that your delivery mechanism (the story) doesn't fault or core first.

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

It's far easier to Just use the standard Final Fantasy - Dragon Quest based magic of elements forbthe magician, and just put Aura to explain the musclebrained non-magician, and that's all you need.

Wasting time to put all the effort into magic system people might ignore isn't that effective use of time. They might hype about it like Harry Potter, but then all they see in the end is just Kamehameha battle of Voldemort and Harry.

Put more effort into world building, plot-relevant culture activities, and how huge scale royal politics affect how MC lives, and MC inclusion within small-scale politics, like business Meeting, village elder gathering, and even party's debate discussion affect the story and how MC involved within them.

But yeah, if you choose to continue magic system, keep going. It's not a bad idea to make your story unique. Still, make sure you have good explanation on how MC obtain and learn them tho.