Short chapter? Perfect for reviewing. Let's crack this bad girl open and check what's under the hood!
"Begin"
At the instructors words, my opponent moved first. He had a staff, spinning it fast. It had longer range than the average weapon and offered defensive capabilities too. He brought the staff down, aiming for my head. I raised my gloved hands and stopped the attack.
Clean up dialogue by merging it with action when the person speaking and the person performing the action are the same. You'll save on confusion and dialogue tags.
Next, you need to describe setting and characters before we begin. Even in an action series. First, because we need to be able to imagine a setting that they are fighting in. Is is a dojo, an open field, a battleground? All of these details would be context clue that would shape how we view the fight. Second, in order for a fight to matter to a reader, we need to know the stakes. You don't need to exposit this, show don't tell, after all. But we need context clues. Which we get, again, through scene and character description.
Third, separate paragraphs when the person who is speaking/performing an action changes. Even if that makes for shorter paragraphs. That will help create more narrative flow, as well as help avoid confusion.
Or so I thought.
The staff was a distraction, as he aimed a kick at my side. His movements were faster than regular human beings but he wasn't just a speed type hunter. I dived backwards aiming to create some distance and avoid his kick.
Jargon like "speed type hunter" means nothing to us until the terms are introduced. So don't bring them up unless your Point of View character is as confused as the reader or you are prepared to at least give a hint as to what it means. Here, before we even know who any of your characters are, it's hardly worth bringing up world-terms like this yet.
My suspicion was confirmed when he threw the staff at me on the right and ran towards me on the left. He had some control over the wind as he guided the staff with his powers and speeded himself up.
Someone else already pointed out the "speeded" error.
Knowing that it would be difficult either way, I ran towards him and considered that taking a blow would not be a problem if I could land one solid hit due to my enhanced strength. It turned out to be advantageous for me as he didn't expect me to close the distance myself.
First, you are telling instead of showing. Don't tell us he has enhanced strength, show us. Have him do something that isn't possible. Then give context clues to show why he is able to do this.
My attempt made him lose his focus and he couldn't control both the staff and his movement. The staff managed to lightly graze me but ultimately, it fell with a clatter, rolling away as he put all efforts into escaping my punch. With me now between him and the staff, he hesitated.
It was also at this point I understood his limits. He could move at approximately twice my speed but if he was controlling the staff along with his own movement, his concentration would be split and he would find it difficult to control both.
While he took a second to think of his next move, I flung the staff at him. He too, had a plan ready and he launched into an elaborate flying kick to take me out in one hit. As he moved mid-air, he deflected the staff away and that caused his one-shot move to slow down significantly.
I stepped forward to meet his foot with my fist. And well, when it came to speed vs strength, one hit would be enough.
His foot broke.
Foot broke ... show me, don't tell me. Describe a crack, a bone sticking out, a scream, something.
Okay, conclusion time. You have a handle on choreographing fight scenes. Genuinely, it's a hard skill and you are well on your way. That being said, that is all this is. You could have put it in any chapter you wanted, and it would have made just as much sense. This isn't the first chapter of a story because ... there's no story being told. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you have one in your head. I'm sure in develops a bit more in the next few chapters. But the reader is unlikely to get to chapter 2, because we don't have any connection to the world, the characters, or any sort of mystery.
I'm not trying to be mean here. You have a skill that you are developing, and that's awesome. But you'll need to broaden the scope of your craft if you want to turn your love for action scenes into an actual story that can house them.
I hope that helps, and I wish you the best of luck!
