Why does this happen?

[Narcissistic_loser]

I've wondered, I've gone through life and I've always been weak to genres that have their loved ones dying in Movies,Novels,Manga and would always cry when it happened, but when it came to my grandparents passing in real life I couldn't even shed a tear, it made me feel guilty seeing all my family members and it made me wonder, am I the problem? Now that it's been years, I miss when my Grandmother would always make me a drink when I visited her.

 

[Deleted member 19066]

am I the problem?

No.
Everyone processes things differently.

 

[LunaSoltaer]

Maybe the fiction scenes served as dry runs so you knew how to process the emotion.

Maybe you were in shock.

Who knows.

You keep doing you.

 

[owotrucked]

Its because novels set up the desire for the loved ones to be together and the very high possibility to be happy, only to snatch it away.

Your grandparents IRL didnt specifically relayed any unfulfilled goals or wishes to you. You only felt sad/guilty when you saw your other family members that would have wanted to spend more time with them.

Death isnt sad by itself. It's the rupture with the happy future and the nostalgia that makes it sad.

 

[LilRora]

I would say that you are the cause, but not the problem. Everyone reacts to things differently, both inside and outside, which makes for a very wide spectrum of visible emotions.

Also, consider this:

In dramaturgy, the term [catharsis] usually refers to arousing negative emotion in an audience, which then expels it, making them feel happier. In psychology, the term is associated with Freudian psychoanalysis where it specifically relates to the expression of buried trauma (the cause of a neurosis), bringing it into consciousness and releasing it, increasing happiness.

 

[Cipiteca396]

Some things feel inevitable. You can't be sad about something when you've been sad about it from the beginning. You just started reacting before anyone else did, and got over it already.

Probably. You could just be psycho, I guess, I can't read your heart.

 

[RavenRunes]

'Narcissistic Loser'...checks out....

Nah, I don't really react much when real people die either. I'll process it eventually, but I don't go through the 'accepted' motions. And as I have no-one I really care to share any of that with, they think I'm cold. But Lassie, man. Gets me every time. Still can't watch.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Movies, stories, anime are geared towards making people emotional so they get invested. Families hardly have ups and downs if they’re a good family, it’s up until someone dies.

Real life isn’t the same.
We are a generation (or multiple generations) of people ruined by fictional expectations, so real life seems less real or emotional.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Movies, stories, anime are geared towards making people emotional so they get invested. Families hardly have ups and downs if they’re a good family, it’s up until someone dies.

Real life isn’t the same.
We are a generation (or multiple generations) of people ruined by fictional expectations, so real life seems less real or emotional.

-_-

 

[Representing_Tromba]

You're not the issue. People just handle things differently. Media is meant to provoke emotions in the audience and allow for people to better understand them.

 

[ManwX]

My condolences for your family. Just dont blame yourself. Everyone has a different way of dealing with greif imo. Even if you did not shed a tear it doesn't mean you didn't mourn the loss. At the end its the thoughts like these that are the most genuine form of mourning. Everyone has a different way to deal with loss. Such was your case as well.