What was the worst thing you've ever read and why was it so bad?

[LeilaniOtter]

E.L. James' "50 Shades of Grey". Quite possibly one of the worst books ever written. I'm in agreement with what one person commented to her when she did her only Twitter Q&A. - "It was difficult to understand what you hated more - women or the English language."

The only way this book saw the light of day was thanks to her husband, Niall Leonard, a screenwriter, novelist, and director (known for the hit BBC series "Wire in the Blood" for years) - and not to mention, a marketing and management wizard. This was truly one of those instances where "it's not what you know, it's who you know" clearly came into play. Of course it helped that James also wrote an abundant amount of "Twilight" fan-fiction (Hmm, wonder if she ever got permission to do that, since she profited so heavily from it and all, AND touted "50 Shades of Grey" as one of her "Twilight" fan-fiction examples - with names changed, etc.

The book is a first-person narrative about an incredibly stupid woman who decides to take out a contract with a very malicious man for fetish, bondage games, etc. And that's basically it.

E.L. James couldn't write a proper sex scene if it was actually happening to her. Truly, the only way to enjoy this book is to see it as a raunchy comedy.

I can't believe this became a movie franchise.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

E.L. James' "50 Shades of Grey". Quite possibly one of the worst books ever written. I'm in agreement with what one person commented to her when she did her only Twitter Q&A. - "It was difficult to understand what you hated more - women or the English language."

The only way this book saw the light of day was thanks to her husband, Niall Leonard, a screenwriter, novelist, and director (known for the hit BBC series "Wire in the Blood" for years) - and not to mention, a marketing and management wizard. This was truly one of those instances where "it's not what you know, it's who you know" clearly came into play. Of course it helped that James also wrote an abundant amount of "Twilight" fan-fiction (Hmm, wonder if she ever got permission to do that, since she profited so heavily from it and all, AND touted "50 Shades of Grey" as one of her "Twilight" fan-fiction examples - with names changed, etc.

The book is a first-person narrative about an incredibly stupid woman who decides to take out a contract with a very malicious man for fetish, bondage games, etc. And that's basically it.

E.L. James couldn't write a proper sex scene if it was actually happening to her. Truly, the only way to enjoy this book is to see it as a raunchy comedy.

I can't believe this became a movie franchise.

There is a worse hyper conservative Christian one called Old Fashioned.

 

[JordanIda]

sounds like a poem you encountered during standardized testing. ...

take this upvote

Oh, no! Not a poem of slop. A whole book of it.

I've never thrown a book away. (Most of the poetry I own-- and there's a lot of it-- is very good, but not all.) Hold on, I bet I can find it.....

ROFL!!!!! I found it! I haven't touched it in years. OK. I'll post a poem from this book, and you guys 'n gals tell me if I'm being too cruel and vicious, calling it AI slop before its time.

From Knots, by R.D. Laing, multiple Ph.D., published by Random House / Pantheon in 1970, Hardcover. Here goes, people. Remember, none of this is my fault. Don't shoot the messenger.


  I want what I can't get
  because
    what I can't get is what I want

  I don't want what I can get
  because
    what I can get is what I don't want

  I never get what I want
  I never want what I get

  ...

  Before one goes through the gate
  one may not be aware there is a gate
  One may think there is a gate to go through
  and look a long time for it
  without finding it.


Sorry. The book is 89 pages long, and those were the best excerpts I could find.

Now tell me, do I win the Worst Book Ever award? :D

 

[toapat]

Oh, no! Not a poem of slop. A whole book of it.

---

Now tell me, do I win the Worst Book Ever award? :D

Smells bad, but excerpts dont really earn that level of true pain that deserves the title of worst. and i think people need to remember, there are multiple factors a book can be terrible on.

Objective Prose: There are plenty of options here for something terrible, Knots clearly falls into this category, same with 50 shades of Grey
Objective Composition: How your plots and characters handle internal logical coherence.
Interpretive meaning/Emotional Response: how you actually feel about the characters or having read this story.

To me, if something has shit prose and no objective composition to speak of, its not good, but it doesnt hit "bad" hard enough to make an impression. Crap comes in plenty of variety, and it hurts alot more if the Prose is good enough and your composition follows a Brachistochrone curve rather then simply being bad in the first place. Because it probably also means you had investment early as well before it went to crap. Because this type of media has the gall to start out good and then become terrible, it is to my perspective worse.

One is terrible because it never shines, the other is something brilliant that turns to shit, and the other is so much worse, because you had something to lose.

Take this upvote.

 

[LiteraryWho]

My bad.

I was a little confused, lol.

 

[Worthy39]

I was a little confused, lol.

I'm still confused.

 

[Arkus86]

I saw this one book on SH at one point. I only understood enough of it to know it was an attempt at English, but that's all I can tell you about it.
Other than that, it's got to be "My Entire Class Was Summoned to Another World except for Me", a JP WN, a power fantasy with nonsensical plot, where the MC literally has god-like powers before chapter 40, but despite being incredibly lazy, usually opts for a more roundabout and complicated solution for no apparent reason, instead of the quick and easy way.

There is also the worst book I never read, but heard more than enough about it. Empress Theresa.

 

[thegingernut]

The poem "the white mans burden". That shit made me legitimately angry and I'm not even black

 

[ArchlordZero]

Invisible Dragon. It's so bad, it's good