The Pressure Of Marriage.

[cabbag3]

What. Explain?

I think they just meant that not marrying means prioritizing yourself. So, you caring for yourself would look selfish.

 

[Llamadragon]

Well, here in the third world, people are having 2-3 kids on average.

Even third world countries often have a lower birth rate than they used to have (though yeah it's going to depend on the country). The world wide fertility rate has halved since birth control started being an option back in the 1960's.

I think they just meant that not marrying means prioritizing yourself. So, you caring for yourself would look selfish.

But isn't marrying somebody also selfish? You're just making a family because you want to, straining everybodys shared tax money to raise your kids and get tax cuts because you want that. I'm not saying it's WRONG or that you should be ashamed for prioritizing wanting a family, it's in the social contract and all, but it's absolutely a selfish thing to pursue your own interest at the expense of society (and the neighbors who'll hear your baby scream all night through the wall), even if it's allowed, acceptable, and perfectly fine to do so.

If both options are selfish, is either option actually selfish?

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

I'm 35. Why am I single?

1). I'm trying to do my 'vows' to remain faithful to the lady I tried to court before, but rejected me and married another guy.
2). I'm still trying to heal from that pain.
3). I don't think I'd like to get married today; economy-wise, it's good to stay single. Baby needs are fucking expensive, after all. Not to mention, late-night shenanigans that I don't think I'm prepared to do.
4). I'm fat. I'm ugly. And I got diabetes.

Oh yeah, I prioritize my happiness. Selfish? So what? I'm not harming another person with my selfishness. Shut the fuck up.

 

[ChronicSleeper]

Yeah, a lot of people do that too. Almost made a pact with my best friend that we would be fake gay for tax benefits if we weren't in relationships by 30.

Here's to hoping gay marriage is still legal in a few years so I can still get the tax benefits ?

 

[MatchaChocolate69]

Oh yeah, I prioritize my happiness. Selfish? So what? I'm not harming another person with my selfishness. Shut the fuck up.

Don't take it as an offense, and I'm sorry for being blunt, I really don't want to be that guy, but you sound anything but happy.
Knowing your intelligence, I believe you'll be able to figure out the reason on your own.

 

[Lysander_Works]

There are a lot of reasons why, but I think over the years of streams, Raging Golden Eagle has explained it the best. I don't have an exact reference to which videos he explains it in.
Summary: Men often get bent over by the courts in divorces, more so than the women. Chalk it up to too many bad actors, or favoritism in legal divorce proceedings. There are reasons. I think people often forget just how many terrible people exist in the world. I know the issue can strike both ways, but this is to answer your question.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Don't take it as an offense, and I'm sorry for being blunt, I really don't want to be that guy, but you sound anything but happy.
Knowing your intelligence, I believe you'll be able to figure out the reason on your own.

Tis fine, you can have your opinion.

 

[Astrolust]

Obsessed with the negativity here. I married my wife because I loved her and it made me happy to enter that pact. Plain, simple, easy. If you want to get married just go to the local court house and bang it out.

 

[Xcalibur_Xc]

Just here to read comments.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

I knew this thread was gonna be at least a bit sour but I didn't expect full-on Incels ?

Don't even try, I won't get rid of my neckbeard.

 

[John_Owl]

What. Explain?

Having a family - i.e. getting married, having children, etc, is done ENTIRELY for the sake of the children, generally. so the children can grow, live, and such. You literally create spawn in order to spend all your money on them.

That said, I did say it was okay to not. 1, because if you have a family for yourself, the children suffer (I'm a result of such a situation) and 2, if you get married solely for the sake of someone else, it only ever leads to pain. it's okay to be selfish here because in doing so, you avoid causing pain.

 

[Llamadragon]

Having a family - i.e. getting married, having children, etc, is done ENTIRELY for the sake of the children, generally. so the children can grow, live, and such. You literally create spawn in order to spend all your money on them.

That said, I did say it was okay to not. 1, because if you have a family for yourself, the children suffer (I'm a result of such a situation) and 2, if you get married solely for the sake of someone else, it only ever leads to pain. it's okay to be selfish here because in doing so, you avoid causing pain.

Don't you ALWAYS have a family for yourself? I mean, sure, some people are pressured into it, or feel like it's a duty or something, but like you said that's not healthy at all. Other than that, aren't people usually having kids because you actually want to actually have them?

 

[cabbag3]

But isn't marrying somebody also selfish? You're just making a family because you want to, straining everybodys shared tax money to raise your kids and get tax cuts because you want that. I'm not saying it's WRONG or that you should be ashamed for prioritizing wanting a family, it's in the social contract and all, but it's absolutely a selfish thing to pursue your own interest at the expense of society (and the neighbors who'll hear your baby scream all night through the wall), even if it's allowed, acceptable, and perfectly fine to do so.

If both options are selfish, is either option actually selfish?

I don't think anybody's arguing with you on that, since your views are your own.
And nobody's actually stopping others from enjoying their marriage here.
Seriously tho, you alright bud? You seemed to be invested about this topic, or maybe that's just me.

 

[foxes]

I don't even visit home because i get attacked with the marriage scheme everywhere.....if my mom wants grandkids that's my two siblings work now, it's sad but a pretty normal thing for me.

I have lived in your position since I was a young child. My grandfather was a priest and married me from the age of five to almost every girl of the same age he met. Then my father, who left us, started doing this abuse, asking every time we met or called where the grandchildren were. I wanted a normal family, but my dyslexia problems forced me to study until I was 28, thinking only about my studies. Then, just like that, working, I didn't have time for a family. And now I just exist, knowing that for all the money I earn, I can only get someone pregnant and that's it. The idea that my family were just hired actors didn't suit me. Despite my desires, “society” has just formed an opinion about me, loser, gay or whatever. Whereas my sister, who didn't finish anything, with her husband who didn't finish school, has two kids and lives on her mother's pension, who pulls money out of me. Basically I quit my job, now they are sucking thumb along with me. Of course now they're saying they're tired at a cheap job while I make money renting out my apartment and do nothing. But I'm not going back to a life that has been lived to no avail. Society and its rules as represented by individuals are terribly biased and unfair.

 

[John_Owl]

Don't you ALWAYS have a family for yourself? I mean, sure, some people are pressured into it, or feel like it's a duty or something, but like you said that's not healthy at all. Other than that, aren't people usually having kids because you actually want to actually have them?

and the reasons people usually give for having children aren't because they want to spend their money. it's because they're ready to appropriately raise one. in other words, they held off having a kid until they could properly sacrifice for it.

 

[AncestorDuck]

I'm honestly kind of scared. When I look at my circle of friends, they're dating 5-6 different people per year. Even 100 years ago, most marriages didn’t last long because of 'true love,' but because it was expected of them. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that people can choose freely today…

 

[Llamadragon]

I don't think anybody's arguing with you on that, since your views are your own.
And nobody's actually stopping others from enjoying their marriage here.
Seriously tho, you alright bud? You seemed to be invested about this topic, or maybe that's just me.

I can't complain. I'm sitting here with nice company and a nice of tea, I just like hyperfocusing random topics of discussion. It's fun. Today it's marriage. The other day it was about why Gardevoir is the most practical pokemon to have around if you're stuck on a deserted island. *shrug*

If someone says it's selfish not to get married, why SHOULDN'T that be discussed? It's quite the take, I think.

 

[aj.canaan]

I think marriage is a good thing in general one of the things that keep society together. I'm Gen Z and peoples minds are slowly changing about marriage in certain areas around here in my generation. I don't know what it is maybe the new wave of Christianity but in general I here my friends saying they want it now. Same for me but I'm talking about the UK so got no clue what's going over their in the US. Stay lit over there guys

 

[rino]

What are the reasons most later millennials and Gen Z are not getting married at all?,i'm 27 but the word marriage is a distance nightmare to me.I don't even visit home because i get attacked with the marriage scheme everywhere.....if my mom wants grandkids that's my two siblings work now, it's sad but a pretty normal thing for me.

My answer is immature, but I would rather drift away from my family then let them decide my marriage. They have not been a good example as people, as a couple, or anything, if anything, I don't want to be too much like them. Apart from that, I don't like when they think they understand current struggles. Maybe I'm weak but modern pressures are really different, let's try not to ignore the current wars and horrendous things happening across the globe, and probably bigger turmoil on the horizon. We all like to lie to ourselves but I'd rather live my life truthfully, I only need to lie to protect the pride of an older generation who refuse to clean out their ears and eyes.

 

[georgelee5786]

Also the modern system wants you to just be a worker bee, to have no time for anything else but working for the system. I concur with Ted kacynzki on this.