The Last to Comment Wins

CountVanBadger

CountVanBadger

Definitely not an overgrown skunk in a suit
Joined
Nov 5, 2025
Messages
407
Points
93
I have to tell this story to at least one person a year, and it's almost midnight so I'm just going to tell all of you:

The best April Fools Day prank I've ever pulled was on my dad. It was about ten years ago, and my parents had invited me over to their place to have dinner. After we ate, they sent me on a Dairy Queen run for dessert. My dad loves Dairy Queen. It was pretty much the only place kids had to hang out at in the podunk town he grew up in, so going there always makes him nostalgic. Well, it was April 1st, and the drive thru line was half a block long, so I decided to give him a heart attack. I pulled out my phone and called him...

"Uh, Dad? You're not going to believe this, but DAIRY QUEEN IS ON FIRE!"

He didn't buy it at first. He knew what day it was. Unfortunately for him, his firstborn son is a writer, so I was able to describe the scene in so much detail that he decided I had to have been telling the truth. So by the time I got to the front of the line, I had him believing that the Dairy Queen a couple miles down the road from his house was on fire. He sounded absolutely heartbroken when he told me to just come back to the house. Basking in the glory of my evil mind, I got our ice cream and left.

I got back a few minutes later, but my dad wasn't at the house. I asked where he'd gone, and Mom said that as soon as he'd gotten off the phone with me, he'd hopped in his car and driven down to Dairy Queen to see if there was some way he could help the firemen. We had probably passed each other on my way back.

He got home about ten minutes later. He wasn't happy.

My mom thought it was hilarious.
 
Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1,397
Points
153
Teach a man to fish, and he'll be not hungry for a lifetime. Give thousands a fish, it's charity. Teach thousands how to fish, and suddenly we're in the realm of economic theories of scarcity.

Give a man a rod and teach him fish, and watch what he does afterwards. If he makes a monopoly, good, but if he teaches further, it's even better. You don't have to do anything to keep your ideas around.

Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll use the fish catching skills to catch hares using the fish bones leftover from the last meal. Such is the life, when you have fish, you eventually want eat hares too.

Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Sell a man a cooked fish, and he'll be fed and satisfied at least for a day. Teach man to fish and teach his friend how to cook it, suddenly you have a business of satisfying others.

Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and suddenly he calls you a master and expects everything coming from your mouth to be profound.

Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and suddenly he's complaining about labor market, fish being thin, and no baits to you, who taught him to fish.

Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will fish as a hobby. Not every man has enough potential to be a fishmaster extraordinaire.
 
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