!st Chapter Feedback

[MC-Stories]

This will be my first Feedback post, I will read the 1st chapter of your stories
Here are the rules:
1. First come first served
2. I will be looking at the synopsis as well so make it pop!
3. don't be nervous, this is my first time as well!

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

This will be my first Feedback post, I will read the 1st chapter of your stories
Here are the rules:
1. First come first served
2. I will be looking at the synopsis as well so make it pop!
3. don't be nervous, this is my first time as well!

I would love to know your opinion

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout the world. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Government. 23...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[MC-Stories]

I would love to know your opinion

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout the world. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Government. 23...

www.scribblehub.com

The poem was very well written and the synopsis was going in the right direction, but if I have to nit pick, i wasn't really feeling the first chapter, but i'm a guy who who's latest story involves a girl with video game based superpowers, so what do I know?
7/10
Mostly because I like the cover art

 

[rileykifer]

Can you do mine? https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2112692/outcasts-and-rebels/

 

[MC-Stories]

Can you do mine? https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2112692/outcasts-and-rebels/

Although slice of life stories were never my cup of tea, the 1st chapter did have some flavor to it, my one concern is that your cover art is a tad on the gloomy side, i understand its a dystopia setting, but a splash of color can go a long way, i myself made a similar mistake.
8/10

 

[Sunrhae]

Can you do mine please? I lose my readers at my 1st chapter and I have no idea why!

Isekai Ran

Minjoon walked away from the national team without hesitation. His sister needed bone marrow and he had to take care of his niece and nephew. When he was isekai’ed alongside 11 strangers, he promised himself he’d come home– no matter what. Chosen to be a hero, Minjoon chooses a...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[MonarchEcho]

This will be my first Feedback post, I will read the 1st chapter of your stories
Here are the rules:
1. First come first served
2. I will be looking at the synopsis as well so make it pop!
3. don't be nervous, this is my first time as well!

i would like to have your opinion

VEILBORNE

The world began collapsing the day the Veins appeared. Dimensional fractures tore through reality without warning, flooding cities with Ether — a dangerous supernatural energy capable of creating monsters, corrupting humans, and twisting the laws of nature itself. From those Veins came the...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Th3Breadnought]

This will be my first Feedback post, I will read the 1st chapter of your stories
Here are the rules:
1. First come first served
2. I will be looking at the synopsis as well so make it pop!
3. don't be nervous, this is my first time as well!

Anything in terms of genre or tags that are especially up your alley or especially not your cup of tea?

 

[Snakes_Emperor]

well since you propose, i'd be happy to have your feedback on my prologue then ^^ ( thank you )

Bastartd of Three Bloods

( tho my chapters are lengthier than it in general, so its just to get the vibe )

 

[MC-Stories]

Anything in terms of genre or tags that are especially up your alley or especially not your cup of tea?

TBH, the kind of stories that would be read out loud on YouTube

well since you propose, i'd be happy to have your feedback on my prologue then ^^ ( thank you )

Bastartd of Three Bloods

( tho my chapters are lengthier than it in general, so its just to get the vibe )

wow, just wow........

Trapped as some scientists' personal executioner, slowly clawing one's way to freedom, all while having 1 foot in the grave already?
What energy drink were you drinking when you wrote this? And where the hell can i get some?
10/10
The synopsis was pretty dope too!

 

[Snakes_Emperor]

TBH, the kind of stories that would be read out loud on YouTube

wow, just wow........

Trapped as some scientists' personal executioner, slowly clawing one's way to freedom, all while having 1 foot in the grave already?
What energy drink were you drinking when you wrote this? And where the hell can i get some?
10/10
The synopsis was pretty dope too!

Thanks for the feedback, and I'm just carburating with coffee... LOTS of it @_@
Glad to see you appreciated the pitch and prologue, ( thx for the follow ) it's supposed to be a LOOOONG Story ( i'm almost overwhelmed by the road to the end myself, but I will believe in it and do my best to bring her to life ^^ )

( tho my first chapters are a bit... 'old', they need a little rewriting [ i don't see them at the same level of the prologue, for example] )

 

[Mimezinga]

Mind if I do?
Pz.III - 01 – Diverging Tracks | Scribble Hub
Sadly chapter 1 is mostly world building... Honestly the synopsis wil ltell more about the story than the frist chapter.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

Mind if I do?
Pz.III - 01 – Diverging Tracks | Scribble Hub
Sadly chapter 1 is mostly world building... Honestly the synopsis wil ltell more about the story than the frist chapter.

I just want to say I absolutely LOVE the concept. I don't really get into war stories too much, and I probably won't be a reader, but the idea of a Panzer tank "coming alive" just...wow. And you seem to be telling the story just fine to me. What a challenge it will be to create "feelings" and "emotions" for something born only to kill and conquer. Good luck with this, it's unusual and yet well-crafted to me.

 

[Mimezinga]

Thank you very much. And yes, the audience is not expected to be large. Thanks for lending me your attention ^_^

 

[Suffering]

This will be my first Feedback post, I will read the 1st chapter of your stories
Here are the rules:
1. First come first served
2. I will be looking at the synopsis as well so make it pop!
3. don't be nervous, this is my first time as well!

Foolish Genius
If you are free, then please.