Offering feedback on your first chapter

[Peagreene]

Bunny's Girl's father Lappe cut off her head when she was 8 and snitched on a bunny head on her decapitated body and put her brain into the bunny head. He kept her life while replacing her head with bunny head and placed her brain from her head into the bunny head. Lappe is a serial killer. He cut off people's heads and replaced them with animal heads and he also replaced limbs with animal limbs. He replaced his daughter's head with a bunny head because her favorite animal was bunnies.

Flesh it out, add some emotional motivation, write it, edit it, post it.

 

[Shadowless3]

mine too

Beneath the Crown

Born of royal blood but raised in shadows, she lives among the streets. A bright, reckless spirit with a hidden past and a secret only her sister knows. Careless, curious, and untamed, she has no interest in kingdoms, crowns, or fate. A streetwise troublemaker with a secret past, she hides...

www.scribblehub.com