Looking for Feedback & Readers for My Dark Fantasy Novel “VEILBORNE”

[MonarchEcho]

Hey everyone,

I recently started writing my dark fantasy/action web novel called VEILBORNE, and I’m currently looking for honest feedback, criticism, and hopefully some readers who enjoy darker supernatural stories.

The story follows Rhys Valen, an E-Class student at Eidolon Institute, after surviving a disaster connected to mysterious entities known as Hollows. It has:

• supernatural academy elements
• evolving monsters
• Ether-based powers
• psychological mystery
• dark atmosphere and squad dynamics

I’m still early into the story (currently around Chapter 8), so this is probably the best stage for me to improve the writing, pacing, characters, and worldbuilding before the story gets much bigger.

I’d genuinely appreciate:

• honest criticism
• pacing feedback
• character impressions
• things that feel weak/confusing
• anything that could make the story more immersive

I’m trying to make VEILBORNE feel cinematic, tense, and memorable rather than just another power fantasy story.

Thanks to anyone who decides to check it out or leave feedback. I really appreciate it.

VEILBORNE

The world began collapsing the day the Veins appeared. Dimensional fractures tore through reality without warning, flooding cities with Ether — a dangerous supernatural energy capable of creating monsters, corrupting humans, and twisting the laws of nature itself. From those Veins came the...

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