Writing Prompt Immortality is sad.

RepresentingWrath

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This is a writing prompt. It means you have to write a small story or an excerpt from the story based on the theme provided by me. @greyblob I think this one will be interesting.

Before I provide a theme, a small explanation. Usually, immortality showcases the bad and sad part of life. How immortal people or creatures lose loved ones who are not immortal, they are tired of living, numb, and so on and so forth. It was done with Frieren recently, it was done with Alucard way back, and there are many more examples.

So your task is to write a dark comedy. An immortal being(can be whatever, elf, vampire, immortal human, god, etc.) tries to find a spouse or goes on a date, but the spouse dies in an accident. However, it's not the first love interest that dies to an accident, and instead of mopping about it MC is adamant on finding the one.
 

beast_regards

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You are making it sound like a real world relationship doesn't end up in a few months or, in best case, scenario, years.
 

NotaNuffian

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"God fucking dammit," the handsome blond cursed with his eye twitching from the sight of a top half of an once beautiful woman stickly slipped off the tree while her pulverized bottom spread across the floor in front.

The perpetrator, a wolfbull, growled menacingly as it hooves dug the ground, preparing for another charge.

Sighing, Vincent merely waved his hand and a pitiful yelp was the last thing that came out of the crushed animal. "I was just getting to know her..."

The dead ginger elf, what's left of her, then floated towards him. Brushing her hair away from her squashed face and slowly placing her popped green eyes back in place, the young looking man pouted, then smirked. A small laugh appeared on his face before slowly disappearing into blank.

"Was fun while it lasted." As though being used to it, a dark oak coffin popped into existense with his finger snap and he slowly placed the corpse in. Scooping the rest of it was simple, but he still took his time as he wanted to not have dirt to accompany her. His parting gift was a simple peck to her forehead, because her mouth was rather wrecked.

With the lid sealed, a dark portal open and the casket floated into the void. Right into the countless coffins that claustrophobically filled the empty space.

Even before the portal fully closed, the blond had already whipped out his IBall 15 and began swiping with a lewd grin.

"Oh, another red head?! I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes?"
 

SwallowForm

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The immortal has all the time in the world, but he only has a small window of opportunity to meet his "One"
Mastering delicate craftsmanship ages ago he refines his gems and twists precious metal into his ingenious design
Intended as the pinnacle of art, the one above all, the one to convince them all in the shortest time possible

It was called the One Ring.

Sadly before he finished, his previous "One" candidate died in a horrible truck accident in Japan, but that must be a sign she wasn't the One.
Sadly after he finished, some fuckwit named Bimbo Saggins managed to steal the ring shortly after he entered a drug-induced coma.
Bimbo Saggins is on a mission to offer the ring to some active Icelandic volcano because the voices in her head told her to.
 

RepresentingWrath

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"God fucking dammit," the handsome blond cursed with his eye twitching from the sight of a top half of an once beautiful woman stickly slipped off the tree while her pulverized bottom spread across the floor in front.

The perpetrator, a wolfbull, growled menacingly as it hooves dug the ground, preparing for another charge.

Sighing, Vincent merely waved his hand and a pitiful yelp was the last thing that came out of the crushed animal. "I was just getting to know her..."

The dead ginger elf, what's left of her, then floated towards him. Brushing her hair away from her squashed face and slowly placing her popped green eyes back in place, the young looking man pouted, then smirked. A small laugh appeared on his face before slowly disappearing into blank.

"Was fun while it lasted." As though being used to it, a dark oak coffin popped into existense with his finger snap and he slowly placed the corpse in. Scooping the rest of it was simple, but he still took his time as he wanted to not have dirt to accompany her. His parting gift was a simple peck to her forehead, because her mouth was rather wrecked.

With the lid sealed, a dark portal open and the casket floated into the void. Right into the countless coffins that claustrophobically filled the empty space.

Even before the portal fully closed, the blond had already whipped out his IBall 15 and began swiping with a lewd grin.

"Oh, another red head?! I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes?"
Thank you for your submission! Here's a thank you cookie! :blob_gift::blob_cookie:
 

ThrillingHuman

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Nah, immortality is awesome fam.
But for the sake of the argument
So your task is to write a dark comedy. An immortal being(can be whatever, elf, vampire, immortal human, god, etc.) tries to find a spouse or goes on a date, but the spouse dies in an accident. However, it's not the first love interest that dies to an accident, and instead of mopping about it MC is adamant on finding the one
"I'll miss you, Kate", I said as I left a single rose on the tombstone.
I longingly looked at the photo of my late deceased lover. She left in the height of her youth and the photo did not look too different from what she looked like when they embalmed her, unlike how it often happens
.
I traced over the letters on the tombstone, as if to etch them into my very being. My fingers read: "Jeanne McLawrence". Another person-shaped scar was carved into my heart.

She was so, so pretty. Her eyes had a very particular shade of green that looked gray under certain lighting, and it really fit my favourite bracelet. Combined with that beautiful long and straight hair of the exact same color as my favourite pair of earrings - she was such a perfect match! I can't hope to find someone as perfect in the next ten years perhaps.

She was a single child too, and her relatives did not look anything remotely like her. Truly, this was a tremendous loss.

But I can't let it get me down, can I? I can always change to another pair of earrings and that bracelet wouldn't go along with any other ensemble without the earrings, so it will go on a shelf too. Since I'm at it, I am feeling like beige is the new color of love so if I take that wristwatch - yes! I think I know how the new me will look like. Of course, I will never be truly complete without my other half - a problem I must urgently resolve.

" Goodbye, Cassandra"
 

RepresentingWrath

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Nah, immortality is awesome fam.
But for the sake of the argument

"I'll miss you, Kate", I said as I left a single rose on the tombstone.
I longingly looked at the photo of my late deceased lover. She left in the height of her youth and the photo did not look too different from what she looked like when they embalmed her, unlike how it often happens
.
I traced over the letters on the tombstone, as if to etch them into my very being. My fingers read: "Jeanne McLawrence". Another person-shaped scar was carved into my heart.

She was so, so pretty. Her eyes had a very particular shade of green that looked gray under certain lighting, and it really fit my favourite bracelet. Combined with that beautiful long and straight hair of the exact same color as my favourite pair of earrings - she was such a perfect match! I can't hope to find someone as perfect in the next ten years perhaps.

She was a single child too, and her relatives did not look anything remotely like her. Truly, this was a tremendous loss.

But I can't let it get me down, can I? I can always change to another pair of earrings and that bracelet wouldn't go along with any other ensemble without the earrings, so it will go on a shelf too. Since I'm at it, I am feeling like beige is the new color of love so if I take that wristwatch - yes! I think I know how the new me will look like. Of course, I will never be truly complete without my other half - a problem I must urgently resolve.

" Goodbye, Cassandra"
:blob_gift: :blob_cookie:
 
D

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I lost my human wife two days ago. We were wed 50 years, 'neath the tree on Sapphire Street. She did have very lovely eyes, and her smile was radiant. Her life was as fickle and fading as the rest of the humans. In old age, her hair had grayed, her face had wrinkled, and her eyes had lost their luster. She began to forget me, yet I will never forget her.

The cemetery beyond the reaches of my castle holds countless graves. How many wives had it been? This marked the 76th wife. If they were consecutive It'd've been a harem. I did mourn the two days after, but my heart has settled. These matters are only a small prick on this cold heart.

Dolly's funeral was held in this manor, the farmhands all invited. What did we do for the ceremony? We had stand-up comedy. Dolly was always filled with laughter, and her soul was a doll. Now, she's quite literally a doll.

In the audience, I sat. Surrounding me were 75 dolls and some attendants. That doll on the stage dances around like a prime jester. Dolly reached the peak of her life. Her summit became this stage, set aglow by her undying smile.

I never show this scene to new wives, for I'm sure they'd run. Yet under this bright sun---this spotlight---Dolly comes undone in the night. I laugh uncontrollably as do the other girls. This immortality is such a beautiful world.

This queen laughs in the throne of this theater. I can't stop laughing as Dolly performs the scene of the way she died. Three days ago, she was eating some fries. I saw her choke them down, and I heard her cries. I looked beyond her dying eyes. Now, on that stage, she performs with the buzzing of flies. I always find myself laughing at the scene of their goodbyes.

Her performance is beautiful before my 75 wives. Maybe the 77th will have an even more hilarious demise.
 

RepresentingWrath

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I lost my human wife two days ago. We were wed 50 years, 'neath the tree on Sapphire Street. She did have very lovely eyes, and her smile was radiant. Her life was as fickle and fading as the rest of the humans. In old age, her hair had grayed, her face had wrinkled, and her eyes had lost their luster. She began to forget me, yet I will never forget her.

The cemetery beyond the reaches of my castle holds countless graves. How many wives had it been? This marked the 76th wife. If they were consecutive It'd've been a harem. I did mourn the two days after, but my heart has settled. These matters are only a small prick on this cold heart.

Dolly's funeral was held in this manor, the farmhands all invited. What did we do for the ceremony? We had stand-up comedy. Dolly was always filled with laughter, and her soul was a doll. Now, she's quite literally a doll.

In the audience, I sat. Surrounding me were 75 dolls and some attendants. That doll on the stage dances around like a prime jester. Dolly reached the peak of her life. Her summit became this stage, set aglow by her undying smile.

I never show this scene to new wives, for I'm sure they'd run. Yet under this bright sun---this spotlight---Dolly comes undone in the night. I laugh uncontrollably as do the other girls. This immortality is such a beautiful world.

This queen laughs in the throne of this theater. I can't stop laughing as Dolly performs the scene of the way she died. Three days ago, she was eating some fries. I saw her choke them down, and I heard her cries. I looked beyond her dying eyes. Now, on that stage, she performs with the buzzing of flies. I always find myself laughing at the scene of their goodbyes.

Her performance is beautiful before my 75 wives. Maybe the 77th will have an even more hilarious demise.
:blob_gift: :blob_cookie:
 

RepresentingDesire

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This is a writing prompt. It means you have to write a small story or an excerpt from the story based on the theme provided by me. @greyblob I think this one will be interesting.

Before I provide a theme, a small explanation. Usually, immortality showcases the bad and sad part of life. How immortal people or creatures lose loved ones who are not immortal, they are tired of living, numb, and so on and so forth. It was done with Frieren recently, it was done with Alucard way back, and there are many more examples.

So your task is to write a dark comedy. An immortal being(can be whatever, elf, vampire, immortal human, god, etc.) tries to find a spouse or goes on a date, but the spouse dies in an accident. However, it's not the first love interest that dies to an accident, and instead of mopping about it MC is adamant on finding the one.
You know that's basically Sisyphus and the rock.
 

CharlesEBrown

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I honestly thought, after 40 thousand years, I had found the one. Everything seemed so perfect. And then the Isekai gods send Truck-Kun to take her to a new universe the very day I proposed.
Ah well, time to mop up the mess they left behind and find another The One. Back to Tinder I go.
 

RepresentingWrath

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I honestly thought, after 40 thousand years, I had found the one. Everything seemed so perfect. And then the Isekai gods send Truck-Kun to take her to a new universe the very day I proposed.
Ah well, time to mop up the mess they left behind and find another The One. Back to Tinder I go.
:blob_gift: :blob_cookie:
 

Cortavar

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"I don't know why you haven't divorced him yet, dear. I mean, he never stops cheating on you, and you always have to deal with the skank afterwards. It must be really tiresome after a while. Why don't you cut your loses and start dating on your own? I hear Ares and Aphrodite are separated again, you could show him what a real woman can do instead of a vapid bimbo!"
"Oh, Demeter, that's nice of you to think of me, but that's not a problem anymore. Sure, for the first millennia, I was genuinely mad at my husband, and I did take revenge on those women and their children. Now? It has become a game between me and the big loaf. He'll try something outrageous to sneak out of my sight and go hanky-panky with a mortal or a lesser goddess, which he knows full well is impossible, since I'm the goddess of mariage, and I'll find whichever skank or himbo caught his fancy and try to one-up him on revenge."
"Yeah, I'd noticed the arms race between you, not like anyone on Olympus talks about anything else... But isn't that unhealthy? Come on, you'd both be better on your own!"
"Oh no, we certainly wouldn't! Let me let you in on a secret. I do all the revenge stuff because I love him. Sure, he'll be upset at me for a while after I turn his latest lover into a toaster or a news kind of quantum particle, but he'll never face the crushing despair of seeing them age and die, or, worse for him, fall out of love with him. He loves falling in love, and he'll do it time and again, but he can't handle rejection. He spent years brooding when Artemis changed her priestess into some tree before he could get to her. And it keeps mariage interesting: he surprises me with a new dalliance, I surprise him with a bit of clever revenge, we pretend to be mad at each other, yell, break some amphoras, cast a few storms, and then have the best make-up sex. Every time. He's a beast in bed with the right mix of heartbroken, furious and apologetic running! We'd be bored out of our minds and creating way more problems for mortals if we went our separate ways, I can assure you that!"
"Ok, ok, I get it. I still think you're both weirdos, but I get it. So, since it doesn't bother you that much, what's the latest story?"
"Oh, you're going to love that one, it falls in your field! Literally in that case. See, there was this hunk of a farmer who loved his big red tractor truck..."
 

greyblob

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dunno why i wrote 750 words for this but i did. the women don't exactly die but he's trying

He stood, hands on his hips, wearing a confident smile. “I feel like this is the one, Sam.”

Samantha rolled her eyes. She hovered beside his shoulders, her tiny wings kicking up golden dust with each beat. “You always say that.”

“But I can really feel it this time.” He leaned forward, gesturing to the parchment laid on the table. “It’s perfect.” The design depicted intricate runes surrounded by delicate geometrical and anatomical sketches.

Sam folded her arms, skeptical. “Another race? Really? What makes this any different from the last bunch?”

“The essence!” he declared proudly. “This is the culmination of my research. Centuries of work. My purpose! She'll be unique, complex, and—”

Immortal.” Samantha interrupted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Aren't you forgetting something the whole 'they tend to turn on you' thing?"

“Bah!” He waved her off. “I've refined the process. It should only grant regeneration and longevity without any... side effects.”

Sam did not look convinced but that was not enough to stop the presentation. They moved to the experimentation venue: four brick walls with a hatch in its abnormally high ceiling and a single thick glass window. A figure laid in the center, right below the hatch, curled onto itself. It made no effort to move.

“Begin.” He stated.

Sam picked the vial–small enough for her to grasp–and flew up. She opened it and poured its contents onto the unmoving body below. Nothing happened at first, then there was a hiss, like scalding metal dropped in water.

The being uncurled and thrashed about wildly, flailing limbs and thrashing tail. Its eyes snapped open, glowing red. It let out a blood-curdling shriek, which turned into a scream when it tried to rise only to collapse again, writhing in pain.

It took some time for it to gather its strength. It was clearly feminine, at least from the waist up. Below, a thick, dark green tail covered in smooth scales laid curled onto itself. She was conscious, staring at us with wide, unblinking eyes.


“Alright.” He cleared his throat and loudly ordered, “Begin the examination!”

Sam sighed, fluttering over to the shelf where the testing kit was kept. “Fine. Let’s see what we’re working with.” She hovered over the hatch and dropped a small pouch. It hit the stone floor with a soft thud, split open, and dark red liquid pooled out.

Instantly, the creature’s gaze snapped to the blood, pupils contracting. She leaned forward, nostrils flaring, her whole body tensed like a coiled spring. Her posture screamed caution and wariness.

Holding a tiny piece of paper, Sam jotted down an ‘X’. “No thirst for blood.” She flew again, grabbing a shimmering moonstone and dropped it. A moment later she wrote another ‘X’. “No affinity for lunar phosphorescence.”

The tests continued for hours, and the newly born creature passed all of them.

“Well,” Sam picked the last item: his used shirt. “This is it.” She tried to keep disappointment out of her voice.

She flew up and dropped it. Not a moment after it was torn to shreds with great fervor. The creature’s face was marred by anger and disgust.

“Sorry, boss,” Her voice was cheerful. Sam scribbled enthusiastically. “Aversion to masculine scent… extreme.”

He sighed, turning away from the display.

Sam folded the paper with a decisive clap. “Well, that’s a wrap on this one.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense. This design was flawless.” He gestured to the scratched-up parchment, now covered in hasty notes and crossed-out theories. “Maybe… maybe just a few tweaks…”

Sam hovered in front of him, hands on her hips. “Or maybe,” she said, with exaggerated patience, “you need a break from this project. Clear your mind, try something new.”

He crossed his arms, skeptical. “Such as?”

A mischievous grin spread across Sam’s face. “Oh I don’t know… perhaps a potion that makes you grow in size.”

He scratched his head. “What would we use it for?”

She deadpanned. “Remember the giant women a few experiments back. I’m sure if you used it, you could talk to her.”

“Oh! You’re a genius.” He laughed. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

She turned her head away.

He imagined seeing some color enter her cheeks but dismissed the thought. This was Sam. “Should I make it permanent or temporary.”

“Let’s start with temporary, and see where that goes.”

He felt like he’s missing an important detail but his head was already swarming with ideas.
 
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3guanoff

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The young man hummed as he finished his preparations.
"Flowers..."
He looked at the new orchid hybrids that had taken a good three decades to cultivate and hummed in satisfaction.

"Check! Ring..."
He chuckled to himself while gently carassing a blood-red crystal with the tips of his pale fingers.

"Check. Witnesses..."
He glanced at the three trembling humans standing off to the side, their unrefined forms contrasting surreally with the room's tasteful interior. They were talented artists he had cultivated for this day; and they would record it for time immemorial... Well, not if he could help it.

"Hmm, the nagging feeling won't go away. I am sure I forgot something."
He pondered the situation for a while before shrugging it off. Three decades of preparation would need to suffice.

Taking a deep breath did little to calm his pounding heart. Then again, breathing was a rather superflous activity in general. And so, he left the mansion excitedly, a bright smile on his face; the three terrified humans followed behind him together with the now floating flowers. The sky was blue, nary a cloud in sight, but the sun would not concern one of his power.
He was in such a good mood that he arrived at their meeting place a few days early.

The park was as beautiful as on the day of its inception: a Roman fountain in the center and an intricate rose garden circumadjacent.
Of course, it was. He had personally ensured it would be. After their fateful meeting almost two centuries ago - it would be exactly two centuries in a few days, he had bought the property and created a foundation to care for it.
Since then, they met at this fountain once a decade.

He took a seat on one of the stone benches surrounding the Roman fountain and reminisced, dismissing the humans with a wave of his hand. They knew him well enough to return on the appointed date.

Four days passed in a blink; and that was only due to one daring fly taking his absent-mindedness as an invitation to explore the pure pools of bice that were his eyes.
A tingle of his power annihilated the insect as he focused his eyes and looked around:

The sun had barely greeted the sky, yet already it bombarded his barrier with its unpleasant rays. He estimated that it was about seven in the morning. His three witnesses had returned and were stiffly sitting on a bench to his right.

"She will be here soon..."
Rarely had being unable to see his reflection bothered him as much as today. Be that as it may...
"With my perfect face, even an undone button would likely escape her notice."
In that moment, he felt confident.

Yet when she appeared, his heart raced anew. Her golden-red locks framed the most beautiful face he had seen in a millenium; he rarely looked at his own portrait, after all.
It was a round face, but it had taken him three dates to notice that fact. For, his attention was immediately drawn to her enticing scent.
The delight he felt upon perceiving it surpassed even that of his second favorite scent, the scent of blood.

His radiant smile clashed with her quivering lips.
'Wait, quivering lips?' he wondered for the briefest of moments before dismissing that line of thought. He would not delay any longer. This was his moment!

Performing a sweeping bow, he floated the orchid hybrids toward her.
"I dedicate these flowers to you. They were fashioned in your image, and they are a sign of my recognition of your beauty."

He did not wait for a reply before continuing. The box containing the ring appeared before his bowed form, and he carefully opened it to reveal the crystal ring within.
"Sahyla'u Ta Veya, will you spend an eternity with me?" he asked, his voice trembling with excitement. He had done it! He had finally...

"I am sorry..."

'What!?'
He straightened to look at the red-haired elf's face. She looked pale... too pale for a warmblood.

"No, no, do not apologize. I know I am moving rather quickly. If this is too soon for you, please forget about it, I can wait..."
Had he been hasty? Were twenty dates too little after all?

"I... I love you..." she replied, and the non-sequitur confused him, until her limp form dropped to the ground.

"Hells?!" he gaped at her.
Had she fainted?

However, his keen eyes soon noticed a faint drop of blood clinging to her slightly blue lips...

"No! Not again!"
He grabbed his forehead in exasperation before moving to confirm his suspicion.
Touching her head and heart, the possibility turned certainty: Veya was dead.

A wave of frustration rolled off him, flattening his surroundings and turning the three unfortunate humans into paste, pounded into the now perfectly flat stone ground.

"No!" he growled again.

"So close! I came this close..!"
He tore a good few chunks of black hair off his scalp before reigning in his power.
Despite boiling with anger and frustration, he should not lose control like that. After all, this was not the first time.

"No, it's precisely because this is not the first time that I am infuriated," he reflected.

"Why did she suddenly die?"
And did it even matter? She was dead. Nothing would come of this anymore and in a millenia or two he would have all but forgotten her name.

He sighed. His anger disappeared as quickly as it had risen. Instead his mind turned to more practical concerns:
"Should I try another elf?"

Veya's scent flashed through his mind and he had to shake his head a few times to free himself of it.
"No, it is too soon."

His gaze fell on the blood-red spots on the ground that had once been his witnesses.
"Perhaps a fellow undead?"

He generally found his fellows too far beneath him to consider them as partners. Weakness was easier to accept in individuals of other races; they had their own qualities to make up for it. Then again...
It had been a few hundred millenia since he last attended any undead social events. Someone worthy might have joined; and if his own kind had any virtues, the foremost would be their hardiness.

"A vampire would never collapse so shamelessly in the middle of a proposal like that."
He nodded and reassured himself that this time would be different. This time she would be the one!

A course of action in mind, he turned and began walking back to his manor. One did not generally reach his age by moping about and dwelling on unpleasant things, after all.
 
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RepresentingWrath

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"I don't know why you haven't divorced him yet, dear. I mean, he never stops cheating on you, and you always have to deal with the skank afterwards. It must be really tiresome after a while. Why don't you cut your loses and start dating on your own? I hear Ares and Aphrodite are separated again, you could show him what a real woman can do instead of a vapid bimbo!"
"Oh, Demeter, that's nice of you to think of me, but that's not a problem anymore. Sure, for the first millennia, I was genuinely mad at my husband, and I did take revenge on those women and their children. Now? It has become a game between me and the big loaf. He'll try something outrageous to sneak out of my sight and go hanky-panky with a mortal or a lesser goddess, which he knows full well is impossible, since I'm the goddess of mariage, and I'll find whichever skank or himbo caught his fancy and try to one-up him on revenge."
"Yeah, I'd noticed the arms race between you, not like anyone on Olympus talks about anything else... But isn't that unhealthy? Come on, you'd both be better on your own!"
"Oh no, we certainly wouldn't! Let me let you in on a secret. I do all the revenge stuff because I love him. Sure, he'll be upset at me for a while after I turn his latest lover into a toaster or a news kind of quantum particle, but he'll never face the crushing despair of seeing them age and die, or, worse for him, fall out of love with him. He loves falling in love, and he'll do it time and again, but he can't handle rejection. He spent years brooding when Artemis changed her priestess into some tree before he could get to her. And it keeps mariage interesting: he surprises me with a new dalliance, I surprise him with a bit of clever revenge, we pretend to be mad at each other, yell, break some amphoras, cast a few storms, and then have the best make-up sex. Every time. He's a beast in bed with the right mix of heartbroken, furious and apologetic running! We'd be bored out of our minds and creating way more problems for mortals if we went our separate ways, I can assure you that!"
"Ok, ok, I get it. I still think you're both weirdos, but I get it. So, since it doesn't bother you that much, what's the latest story?"
"Oh, you're going to love that one, it falls in your field! Literally in that case. See, there was this hunk of a farmer who loved his big red tractor truck..."
:blob_gift: :blob_cookie:
dunno why i wrote 750 words for this but i did. the women don't exactly die but he's trying

He stood, hands on his hips, wearing a confident smile. “I feel like this is the one, Sam.”

Samantha rolled her eyes. She hovered beside his shoulders, her tiny wings kicking up golden dust with each beat. “You always say that.”

“But I can really feel it this time.” He leaned forward, gesturing to the parchment laid on the table. “It’s perfect.” The design depicted intricate runes surrounded by delicate geometrical and anatomical sketches.

Sam folded her arms, skeptical. “Another race? Really? What makes this any different from the last bunch?”

“The essence!” he declared proudly. “This is the culmination of my research. Centuries of work. My purpose! She'll be unique, complex, and—”

Immortal.” Samantha interrupted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Aren't you forgetting something the whole 'they tend to turn on you' thing?"

“Bah!” He waved her off. “I've refined the process. It should only grant regeneration and longevity without any... side effects.”

Sam did not look convinced but that was not enough to stop the presentation. They moved to the experimentation venue: four brick walls with a hatch in its abnormally high ceiling and a single thick glass window. A figure laid in the center, right below the hatch, curled onto itself. It made no effort to move.

“Begin.” He stated.

Sam picked the vial–small enough for her to grasp–and flew up. She opened it and poured its contents onto the unmoving body below. Nothing happened at first, then there was a hiss, like scalding metal dropped in water.

The being uncurled and thrashed about wildly, flailing limbs and thrashing tail. Its eyes snapped open, glowing red. It let out a blood-curdling shriek, which turned into a scream when it tried to rise only to collapse again, writhing in pain.

It took some time for it to gather its strength. It was clearly feminine, at least from the waist up. Below, a thick, dark green tail covered in smooth scales laid curled onto itself. She was conscious, staring at us with wide, unblinking eyes.


“Alright.” He cleared his throat and loudly ordered, “Begin the examination!”

Sam sighed, fluttering over to the shelf where the testing kit was kept. “Fine. Let’s see what we’re working with.” She hovered over the hatch and dropped a small pouch. It hit the stone floor with a soft thud, split open, and dark red liquid pooled out.

Instantly, the creature’s gaze snapped to the blood, pupils contracting. She leaned forward, nostrils flaring, her whole body tensed like a coiled spring. Her posture screamed caution and wariness.

Holding a tiny piece of paper, Sam jotted down an ‘X’. “No thirst for blood.” She flew again, grabbing a shimmering moonstone and dropped it. A moment later she wrote another ‘X’. “No affinity for lunar phosphorescence.”

The tests continued for hours, and the newly born creature passed all of them.

“Well,” Sam picked the last item: his used shirt. “This is it.” She tried to keep disappointment out of her voice.

She flew up and dropped it. Not a moment after it was torn to shreds with great fervor. The creature’s face was marred by anger and disgust.

“Sorry, boss,” Her voice was cheerful. Sam scribbled enthusiastically. “Aversion to masculine scent… extreme.”

He sighed, turning away from the display.

Sam folded the paper with a decisive clap. “Well, that’s a wrap on this one.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense. This design was flawless.” He gestured to the scratched-up parchment, now covered in hasty notes and crossed-out theories. “Maybe… maybe just a few tweaks…”

Sam hovered in front of him, hands on her hips. “Or maybe,” she said, with exaggerated patience, “you need a break from this project. Clear your mind, try something new.”

He crossed his arms, skeptical. “Such as?”

A mischievous grin spread across Sam’s face. “Oh I don’t know… perhaps a potion that makes you grow in size.”

He scratched his head. “What would we use it for?”

She deadpanned. “Remember the giant women a few experiments back. I’m sure if you used it, you could talk to her.”

“Oh! You’re a genius.” He laughed. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

She turned her head away.

He imagined seeing some color enter her cheeks but dismissed the thought. This was Sam. “Should I make it permanent or temporary.”

“Let’s start with temporary, and see where that goes.”

He felt like he’s missing an important detail but his head was already swarming with ideas.
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The young man hummed as he finished his preparations.
"Flowers..."
He looked at the new orchid hybrids that had taken a good three decades to cultivate and hummed in satisfaction.

"Check! Ring..."
He chuckled to himself while gently carassing a blood-red crystal with the tips of his pale fingers.

"Check. Witnesses..."
He glanced at the three trembling humans standing off to the side, their unrefined forms contrasting surreally with the room's tasteful interior. They were talented artists he had cultivated for this day; and they would record it for time immemorial... Well, not if he could help it.

"Hmm, the nagging feeling won't go away. I am sure I forgot something."
He pondered the situation for a while before shrugging it off. Three decades of preparation would need to suffice.

Taking a deep breath did little to calm his pounding heart. Then again, breathing was a rather superflous activity in general. And so, he left the mansion excitedly, a bright smile on his face; the three terrified humans followed behind him together with the now floating flowers. The sky was blue, nary a cloud in sight, but the sun would not concern one of his power.
He was in such a good mood that he arrived at their meeting place a few days early.

The park was as beautiful as on the day of its inception: a Roman fountain in the center and an intricate rose garden circumadjacent.
Of course, it was. He had personally ensured it would be. After their fateful meeting almost two centuries ago - it would be exactly two centuries in a few days, he had bought the property and created a foundation to care for it.
Since then, they met at this fountain once a decade.

He took a seat on one of the stone benches surrounding the Roman fountain and reminisced, dismissing the humans with a wave of his hand. They knew him well enough to return on the appointed date.

Four days passed in a blink; and that was only due to one daring fly taking his absent-mindedness as an invitation to explore the pure pools of bice that were his eyes.
A tingle of his power annihilated the insect as he focused his eyes and looked around:

The sun had barely greeted the sky, yet already it bombarded his barrier with its unpleasant rays. He estimated that it was about seven in the morning. His three witnesses had returned and were stiffly sitting on a bench to his right.

"She will be here soon..."
Rarely had being unable to see his reflection bothered him as much as today. Be that as it may...
"With my perfect face, even an undone button would likely escape her notice."
In that moment, he felt confident.

Yet when she appeared, his heart raced anew. Her golden-red locks framed the most beautiful face he had seen in a millenium; he rarely looked at his own portrait, after all.
It was a round face, but it had taken him three dates to notice that fact. For, his attention was immediately drawn to her enticing scent.
The delight he felt upon perceiving it surpassed even that of his second favorite scent, the scent of blood.

His radiant smile clashed with her quivering lips.
'Wait, quivering lips?' he wondered for the briefest of moments before dismissing that line of thought. He would not delay any longer. This was his moment!

Performing a sweeping bow, he floated the orchid hybrids toward her.
"I dedicate these flowers to you. They were fashioned in your image, and they are a sign of my recognition of your beauty."

He did not wait for a reply before continuing. The box containing the ring appeared before his bowed form, and he carefully opened it to reveal the crystal ring within.
"Sahyla'u Ta Veya, will you spend an eternity with me?" he asked, his voice trembling with excitement. He had done it! He had finally...

"I am sorry..."

'What!?'
He straightened to look at the red-haired elf's face. She looked pale... too pale for a warmblood.

"No, no, do not apologize. I know I am moving rather quickly. If this is too soon for you, please forget about it, I can wait..."
Had he been hasty? Were twenty dates too little after all?

"I... I love you..." she replied, and the non-sequitur confused him, until her limp form dropped to the ground.

"Hells?!" he gaped at her.
Had she fainted?

However, his keen eyes soon noticed a faint drop of blood clinging to her slightly blue lips...

"No! Not again!"
He grabbed his forehead in exasperation before moving to confirm his suspicion.
Touching her head and heart, the possibility turned certainty: Veya was dead.

A wave of frustration rolled off him, flattening his surroundings and turning the three unfortunate humans into paste, pounded into the now perfectly flat stone ground.

"No!" he growled again.

"So close! I came this close..!"
He tore a good few chunks of black hair off his scalp before reigning in his power.
Despite boiling with anger and frustration, he should not lose control like that. After all, this was not the first time.

"No, it's precisely because this is not the first time that I am infuriated," he reflected.

"Why did she suddenly die?"
And did it even matter? She was dead. Nothing would come of this anymore and in a millenia or two he would have all but forgotten her name.

He sighed. His anger disappeared as quickly as it had risen. Instead his mind turned to more practical concerns:
"Should I try another elf?"

Veya's scent flashed through his mind and he had to shake his head a few times to free himself of it.
"No, it is too soon."

His gaze fell on the blood-red spots on the ground that had once been his witnesses.
"Perhaps a fellow undead?"

He generally found his fellows too far beneath him to consider them as partners. Weakness was easier to accept in individuals of other races; they had their own qualities to make up for it. Then again...
It had been a few hundred millenia since he last attended any undead social events. Someone worthy might have joined; and if his own kind had any virtues, the foremost would be their hardiness.

"A vampire would never collapse so shamelessly in the middle of a proposal like that."
He nodded and reassured himself that this time would be different. This time she would be the one!

A course of action in mind, he turned and began walking back to his manor. One did not generally reach his age by moping about and dwelling on unpleasant things, after all.
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