how to properly pair female mc with love interests, in a polyomorous harem?

[Garon]

So this topic will be long. And it will require you to read the spoiler a little to have an idea of what I'm preparing. My story has a female protagonist, together as roommates with three other female mcs. They came to the academy together and bonded as a team from the start. I did this to make it easier to connect them in the future; it was the easiest way to introduce and connect them in the near future. In my history in the tags, it is no secret that in the future she will have a female harem, not all of them are necessarily represented from the start. And for me this is an opportunity for future interesting romantic interactions. I also take into account that they are not walking tags. And they represent characters with a combination of disadvantages and advantages. Which will compensate each other.

What is all this for? And besides, I have very little experience in polyomorous harems. I've read stories where this was featured, some good, some not so good. But the problem I have is how will they ever decide to get closer? According to the original idea, I thought about making a marriage of convenience. This way I'll get them connected pretty quickly, but this way interfered with some other possibilities. I wanted to depict their connection before and after their love relationship. But now I’m thinking about future events and don’t even know what to do. Offer good examples of such relationships that will show how to do this. It's especially good if you have personal experience with this. I will be grateful.

 

[Zirrboy]

I don't read much lesbian romance, so I'm not particularly familiar with workable themes, reader expectations and such of that specific part, but I think having them live together is a leveragable scenario in any matchup.

You could for example start with one who gets together with the protagonist by catalyzing circumstance and use that relationship to trigger the others to change their view of their roommates. How this develops depends on the specific people and view on poly relationships in world, but with two dating it becomes hard for the others not to think along those lines.

 

[LilRora]

Honestly? I say you're overthinking it. To some degree those kinds of questions are good, but consider a thing (imma get to my examples in a moment).

If this is supposed to be a harem, you gotta do different things for different girls. If you've got a good idea, don't try to find a better one, but write that one, and you can try something else next time; I believe from my own experience writing that trying to come up with the best thing will get you nowhere if you don't actually do something.

The way I would personally do it is, assuming you don't want any of them pursuing a relationship right from the start, is try to make it as spontaneous and/or random as possible. I've seen enough authors try to create a good reason for someone's sudden interest in love, and I don't know, maybe you would do it well. What I've seen though is usually the opposite and feels completely underwhelming or artificial.

Also consider that it's very common for people to chalk things they're not sure about up to something they're comfortable with. A very common trope is for someone to think it was just a kiss from a friend, and while that is a bit generic and sometimes unrealistic, there's a lot more freedom there. Gifts, staying up late watching movies and/or talking, preparing meals if they're living together, taking care of a sick girl.

And another thing, people often don't realize things under their noses until they're pointed out to them. That's also a pretty common trope, that a pair of good friends is asked if they're a couple and they suddenly realize yes it does look that way. Or that someone gets asked if there's someone they'd like to spend the rest of their life with, who would it be. Which gets them to thinking about the whole thing, and perhaps bringing it somewhere further.

What I personally did in one of my stories (I haven't published that one) was that one of mc's friends was constantly joking about her and another girl dating, and she kept denying it kind of out of habit, but one day they had a sleepover and that got her to realize things. Simple, right? I think the main point of all this is, it doesn't have to be anything meaningful. It can just be a seemingly random event in the story that kickstarts the whole thing.

Some stories I would recommend if you want to do some research are We're Not So Different, You and I; and Digital Galaxies; both have trans mc, but I think both show very well how a relationship can develop. They're not harems though. A polycule is in PurpleCatGirl's Maraverse, first book here. Coincidentally, I'm not sure I can recommend any without a trans mc, except maybe a manga called Organ Divider, or a story Chronicles of The Exalted Sun Child (though that one's long and slow as heck); I don't remember a lot of titles I read.

Also I think you mean polyamorous.

And also, long as has been prophecised.

Edit: Just realized, if you want an example of how to show a relationship before it actually turns romantic, I think you should do everything a romance has except the romance part. Even cuddles and kisses are fine, so long as they're not randomly inserted there. You can even use that to push the relationship further.

 

[MintiLime]

Now I don’t really write or read this, so take my advice with a large helping of salt.

I would be careful of it seeming like the MC is the only one with good feelings for multiple harem members. Highlighting how the the harem members form friends, handle jealousy, etc may be helpful.

like for example: it’s going to be the female MC’s birthday, so two of the others decide to go shopping for her. In the meantime, they learn about each other’s likes and dislikes, pick out clothes for the other to try on, and eventually find a gift that suite the MC perfectly while also playing into each’s sensibilities.

 

[Garon]

Honestly? I say you're overthinking it. To some degree those kinds of questions are good, but consider a thing (imma get to my examples in a moment).

If this is supposed to be a harem, you gotta do different things for different girls. If you've got a good idea, don't try to find a better one, but write that one, and you can try something else next time; I believe from my own experience writing that trying to come up with the best thing will get you nowhere if you don't actually do something.

The way I would personally do it is, assuming you don't want any of them pursuing a relationship right from the start, is try to make it as spontaneous and/or random as possible. I've seen enough authors try to create a good reason for someone's sudden interest in love, and I don't know, maybe you would do it well. What I've seen though is usually the opposite and feels completely underwhelming or artificial.

Also consider that it's very common for people to chalk things they're not sure about up to something they're comfortable with. A very common trope is for someone to think it was just a kiss from a friend, and while that is a bit generic and sometimes unrealistic, there's a lot more freedom there. Gifts, staying up late watching movies and/or talking, preparing meals if they're living together, taking care of a sick girl.

And another thing, people often don't realize things under their noses until they're pointed out to them. That's also a pretty common trope, that a pair of good friends is asked if they're a couple and they suddenly realize yes it does look that way. Or that someone gets asked if there's someone they'd like to spend the rest of their life with, who would it be. Which gets them to thinking about the whole thing, and perhaps bringing it somewhere further.

What I personally did in one of my stories (I haven't published that one) was that one of mc's friends was constantly joking about her and another girl dating, and she kept denying it kind of out of habit, but one day they had a sleepover and that got her to realize things. Simple, right? I think the main point of all this is, it doesn't have to be anything meaningful. It can just be a seemingly random event in the story that kickstarts the whole thing.

Some stories I would recommend if you want to do some research are We're Not So Different, You and I; and Digital Galaxies; both have trans mc, but I think both show very well how a relationship can develop. They're not harems though. A polycule is in PurpleCatGirl's Maraverse, first book here. Coincidentally, I'm not sure I can recommend any without a trans mc, except maybe a manga called Organ Divider, or a story Chronicles of The Exalted Sun Child (though that one's long and slow as heck); I don't remember a lot of titles I read.

Also I think you mean polyamorous.

And also, long as has been prophecised.

Edit: Just realized, if you want an example of how to show a relationship before it actually turns romantic, I think you should do everything a romance has except the romance part. Even cuddles and kisses are fine, so long as they're not randomly inserted there. You can even use that to push the relationship further.

Good answer. To be honest, I try to have my ideas in the story and my view of how the story should go. Otherwise, taking all the best from others, my story will turn into mush. I think your method is perhaps the best at the moment in my story. Considering the calmness of the arc in which mc is currently located. And I also don’t know how to spell this correctly, it seems to be polyomory. My bad).

 

[RepresentingWrath]

@K5Rakitan ???

 

[Garon]

Now I don’t really write or read this, so take my advice with a large helping of salt.

I would be careful of it seeming like the MC is the only one with good feelings for multiple harem members. Highlighting how the the harem members form friends, handle jealousy, etc may be helpful.

like for example: it’s going to be the female MC’s birthday, so two of the others decide to go shopping for her. In the meantime, they learn about each other’s likes and dislikes, pick out clothes for the other to try on, and eventually find a gift that suite the MC perfectly while also playing into each’s sensibilities.

At the moment I have no problems with this. Even though my main character plays a major role in the story. But everything doesn't revolve around her. Other mcs are also important and their world view, preferences and shortcomings will also be described in the future. This was the first initial reason why I decided to make a harem. This is an opportunity to show characters from different sides. Yes, and show various cute things and perhaps some drama. Thanks for your reply.

 

[i-am-here-to-kill-CHAOS]

There's no such thing as a real harem. The women compete for the man they like to monopolize his affection and attention.

If the man in question is deceptive, he will manipulate them in a way that allows him to use them without any of them knowing.

If he isn't, the story will end with one girl getting with the guy.

It will most certainly not be "Best Girl," so if your story blows up, prepare to get raged on by the fans by the end.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

There's no such thing as a real harem. The women compete for the man they like to monopolize his affection and attention.

If the man in question is deceptive, he will manipulate them in a way that allows him to use them without any of them knowing.

If he isn't, the story will end with one girl getting with the guy.

It will most certainly not be "Best Girl," so if your story blows up, prepare to get raged on by the fans by the end.

Bruh.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

It's especially good if you have personal experience with this. I will be grateful.

I do.
I was that guy who every girl thought of as harmless, so I was the guy everyone came to talk to. Not that I was harmless, I didn't care. Big difference. But that's a tale for another evening.

When you are talking about Polyamorous Female Relationships, you are dealing with the realm of pure fiction. So go with whatever you want. you are making it all up anyway.

Having seen a 5-way, 3-way, and the resulting fall out that turned into 3 2-way relationships, they come on strong, there is quite a bit of sex, then women got to be women and it all falls apart, Even the 2-way relationships only lasted for about a year before they self-destructed. Some less.

Lesbian Relationships start with "OMG, This is my soul mate" Followed by one of the relationships being the dominant personality and taking control. In the case of the 5-way and 3-way, two different competing bitches started fighting, started poaching each other's lovers, and wound up forming their little sex groups, then the problems started. The situation only lasted a semester before all the rhetoric about how we're "changing the world" won't fix the fact that women love being the center of attention. When you have a love triangle (Or in this case, a love-polygon) only one person is the center of everything.

See, the problem is, that most people do not understand what being a sub IS. Even lesbian women like being subs. Women, in general, like being dominated. Sorry, they just do. WHY? People think being subby is BAD. It isn't. It isn't good, either. It's just a preference in who is in control.

Being in control SUCKS.

As a dom, it is a LOT OF WORK. People think it's all about the DOM, but trust me, any DOM who doesn't give the sub what they want will find the sub wandering off to find someone else. It's just what they do. If you are too nice to your sub, they get bored. If you ignore them, they get bored. In reality, the Sub usually is the one who decides if sex happens, whereas the Dom is the one who makes sure the relationship happens.

The problem is, the most DOMMY MOMMY in the world WANTS to be the center of attention. When you have nothing but females, the relationship quickly sours. Males, for all the many flaws you might claim they have, are usually easygoing and are fine with being ignored for long periods. We expect to have to pay attention to our partners and have to put in the work. That's the same for sub-males and dom males. The difference is what sort of work they put in. The dom usually provides the Cash, and the sub provides the fluff.

When it's all women, it is rare to find a woman willing to share. very quickly doubt creeps in.

I remember them ALL coming to be over the years to talk about all this PETTY SHIT. "Why did she say she was leaving right away, then still be in her room 20 minutes later?" Or, "Why did she think she could eat the last of the..." Every little tiny detail became something to psychoanalyze and the two who were the doms in charge of these cliques of harpies? THEY BITCHED THE MOST.

And I'm not going to elaborate, but for being a dyed-in-the-wool, Femi-Nazi, Female Supremacists. one of them sucked a whole lot of dick.

Why did the Femi-Nazi talk with me? Because out of everyone in the theater group, I was the only one who wasn't in a clique, dating someone in the group, or had an axe to grind. I just liked hanging out with strange people who claimed to be half-alien. I was the official neutral guy who everyone vented to. My favorite quote is, after bitching about men for a half hour straight...

"Oh. Not you Bob. I don't think of you as a man."

Ouch.
I mean... Ouch.

But hey, I was never interested in any of them that way, anyway. I mean, never stick your dick in crazy. Words to live by.

Anyrate, my point is, no matter how much I tried to help get them to all relax, between the two top bitches hating each other, and the other six all feeling neglected and used, the who situation lasted about 6 months then exploded. The 5-way went up first, and without the threat of the 5-way on the 3-way, that group fell apart as well. Then they switched up pairs over the next two years, with people finally vanishing with graduation and NEVER COMING BACK.

Stable Lesbian Relationships PAIRS are rare enough. Studies show that the most violent relationships are Lesbians. Women just don't regulate well. A male in a relationship is like a control rod in a reactor. Without one, you have to be really careful or sooner or later its all gonna melt down.

But you are writing FICTION, so go to town. Have it work any way you want. If you were being realistic, it would self-destruct within a year, tops. So if you want a happy ending, you're gonna have to write them acting like men, and very few women think like men.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

@K5Rakitan ???

Thanks for the tag!

It seems like the quandry here is about how to get them into a romantic relationship rather than just being roommates. The answer is to put them together like any other people get put together.

Here's one trick I remember from my psychology minor:

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/fear-and-love-on-a-shaky-bridge/

Basically, have them bond over facing some sort of stressful experience together. A little teamwork, and in the aftermath when they are grateful to be alive, they declare their love.

Another option is to have some sort of online dating thing match them together. If there's no internet but you're in a fantasy world, some kind of magical matchmaker person or object will suffice. If there's no internet and it's not a fantasy world, use blind dates or newspaper ads.

Masquerade balls are always a blast.

 

[Tsuru]

So this topic will be long. And it will require you to read the spoiler a little to have an idea of what I'm preparing. My story has a female protagonist, together as roommates with three other female mcs. They came to the academy together and bonded as a team from the start. I did this to make it easier to connect them in the future; it was the easiest way to introduce and connect them in the near future. In my history in the tags, it is no secret that in the future she will have a female harem, not all of them are necessarily represented from the start. And for me this is an opportunity for future interesting romantic interactions. I also take into account that they are not walking tags. And they represent characters with a combination of disadvantages and advantages. Which will compensate each other.

What is all this for? And besides, I have very little experience in polyomorous harems. I've read stories where this was featured, some good, some not so good. But the problem I have is how will they ever decide to get closer? According to the original idea, I thought about making a marriage of convenience. This way I'll get them connected pretty quickly, but this way interfered with some other possibilities. I wanted to depict their connection before and after their love relationship. But now I’m thinking about future events and don’t even know what to do. Offer good examples of such relationships that will show how to do this. It's especially good if you have personal experience with this. I will be grateful.

The ultimate advice
that i will repeat for the XXXXX th time

Read, read, read more

But for immediate advice
look at a male MC harem series
and "copy it"

I thought about making a marriage of convenience. This way I'll get them connected pretty quickly, but this way interfered with some other possibilities. I wanted to depict their connection before and after their love relationship. But now I’m thinking about future events and don’t even know what to do. Offer good examples of such relationships that will show how to do this. It's especially good if you have personal experience with this. I will be grateful.

1) What is the background view
School ? Urban ? Isekai ? Smut ? Futuristic ?

2) Don't forget to keep a "reader" mentality and making it sure its logical and enjoyable

3) Possible examples of series for inspiration

Mushoku
They are separated and reunite later together
Arifureta
MC accumulate them
Pokemon-like journey (That person, later on...) (NU series)
MC somehow on a journey [Insert reason] and keep encountering new "girl" in the arc and leave. Said-girl somehow can't forget about MC and pursue them behind and defacto will encounter the other girls also trying to find mc back
#### blocker
For [insert reason] the MC can't get together with the heroine for a while. System not allowing, accident, no feelings, heartbroken, hate women, etc etc

Bakarina
MC somehow attract the love interests

The recent jp translated manga works too where MC is a livestreamer in isekai (or Eminence Shadow also it)
MC attract the heroines but somehow is kept clueless about their obsessions - WARNING dense mcs are unlikeable

Strike witches
Lycoris recoil

Dynasty Reader » Gamma

Online manga reader for scanlations released by Dynasty Scans and other Yuri groups.

dynasty-scans.com

Dynasty Reader » Semelparous

Online manga reader for scanlations released by Dynasty Scans and other Yuri groups.

dynasty-scans.com

Dynasty Reader » I Don't Know Which One is Love

Online manga reader for scanlations released by Dynasty Scans and other Yuri groups.

dynasty-scans.com

-----------------

The continuation of the first advice of "copying" i said at beginning

You simply alternate the "gender" of a harem anime series
and it would still work !!!
Well, less popularity in general public BUT in term of plot structure THERE IS NOTHING DIFFERENT between changing just "he" into a "she"

To name a few :

Chivalry Of A Failed Knight

Misfit Of Demon King Academy

Irregular At Magic Highschool

For example. What would be similarly fitting to your work is "Misfit of demon king" ^

Heck, sure there will less impact if its a girl saying the cliche line of "Did you really think killing me would make die"
but overall, it would still be badass.
Also anos probably wouldnt bat an eye if he was somehow reincarnated into a girl body.
AND anos with long black hair sure would look gorgeous.

Also its not like genderbender was ever disliked when a man turned into a woman. COUGHSABERCOUGH
Heck even now a common cliche among some mangas, that the protag, somehow is "transformed" into a girl for the chapter and the "lovers" fitting "her" still attractive despite not being lesbian.

Also try to not do the toxic cliche(s) like : Valkyrie Drive
where a yuri kiss is needed for the "power" to activate

 

[Kalliel]

Just get them to spend time with each other, be it your protagonist with one girl, two girls, or all of them.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

how about just make all the men of the harem cuckolds?

 

[KidBuu699]

My opinion on making harems work in stories is to first deal with world influences. What I mean by that is to make harems somewhat acceptable in the outside world. So for example a statement in the story like, "It is common for the powerful nobles of the world to have a harem or group of concubines." With this you make it so that a harem isn't a foreign concept. That everyone in it knows that they exist in the world and isn't some taboo or extremely rare.

Next I would say acceptance. Have at least one of the harem members accept the harem or see no problem with it. This individual is going to the person that makes it work because the others will see her example. She will also be the best for helping managing the harem dynamic.

Lastly quality over quantity. Instead of focusing how being a pokemon master and "catching 'em all" focus on a few and expand their characters. Develop their characters and give actual reasons as to why they fall in love with the mc. If its not love then focus on why they are with them such as "my family needed this connection for protection so I had to accept being a second wife." Even if the relationship starts out for something besides love, doesn't mean you can not build up a loving relationship throughout the rest of the story.

Best of luck.

 

[Echimera]

Some points, if you want to depict a working poly relationship:

• Communication. When things are starting to get serious between them, have them talk about it and establsih the ground rules the whole thing will have to run on. Communication, establishing boundaries and rules and of course further communication when there are problems are core elements on haw poly relationships manage to function
  • You don't have to spell out all the details, but at least something basic like 'no unilaterally adding more people, we discuss these things beforehand' might be good to set up, especially if that's something you plan on happening down the line
• Especially following from the last point about adding more people, you don't have to start off with the whole polycule, you can start by pairing off two characters and add the others over the course of a few chapters, depending on your desired pacing
  • Having the MC be the one to be added to an existing pair and starting off the poly train might even help set it apart from the typical harem simply by deviating from the typical dynamic
• Depending on the POV you are using, either directly follow all of the pairings from time to time or at least bring up that everyone goes on dates (and does other things) with everyone else, so it's clear that this is not just everybody horning on the MC and accepting the presence of the others but a mure complex poly relationship.
  • Try to avaoid having any single character or pairing be the 'core' of the relationship and everything else just orbiting around that. That's the best way to get back into the typical harem mentality

 

[ThrillingHuman]

Make her name start with k5 and give her a 3 year old

 

[Cipiteca396]

The key in my mind is to make them comfortable around each other. Maybe they can have moments of tension, or drama, or whatever, but in general, their presence should give them a chance to relax.

Outside of that, yes, communication is important. They should try to make their thoughts and opinions on what's going on clear to one another-

Which is where we get to the 'meat' of the deal. Try to create a web for each character that explains what those thoughts and opinions actually are.
Your MC is the center of a vast web which connects them to partners, potential love interests, friends, family, and others. Each thread of that web represents a relationship, and every relationship is basically a character of its own; one that only exists when two other characters interact.
Now, recognize that every other character has their own web, with completely different thoughts about the same people, and different relationships with them.

Once you have those webs clearly defined, you can start to see how they might interact. Each character will have varying levels of affection for the others. Some of them may end up just being friends, some might be intensely devoted to one or two particular members of the group. That affection may then change their opinions on seemingly unrelated relationships... As if the metaphorical characters that are 'relationships', are also interacting with each other.

It's kinda a big deal. Even just a group of three is three times as much work as a couple. Having four, five, seven people? A lot of work.

---

For advice on what to read, I honestly don't think that you'll want to find something identical to what you're writing. Find well written couples, and try to imagine how their dynamics would change under your circumstances. I suppose as a reference, you could literally copy and paste memorable relationships together into the 'web', then see how they'd react to each other.

 

[Garon]

Thanks to all of you, many have given really good advice. I'll try to use them in my series.

 

[Lysander_Works]

So this topic will be long. And it will require you to read the spoiler a little to have an idea of what I'm preparing. My story has a female protagonist, together as roommates with three other female mcs. They came to the academy together and bonded as a team from the start. I did this to make it easier to connect them in the future; it was the easiest way to introduce and connect them in the near future. In my history in the tags, it is no secret that in the future she will have a female harem, not all of them are necessarily represented from the start. And for me this is an opportunity for future interesting romantic interactions. I also take into account that they are not walking tags. And they represent characters with a combination of disadvantages and advantages. Which will compensate each other.

What is all this for? And besides, I have very little experience in polyomorous harems. I've read stories where this was featured, some good, some not so good. But the problem I have is how will they ever decide to get closer? According to the original idea, I thought about making a marriage of convenience. This way I'll get them connected pretty quickly, but this way interfered with some other possibilities. I wanted to depict their connection before and after their love relationship. But now I’m thinking about future events and don’t even know what to do. Offer good examples of such relationships that will show how to do this. It's especially good if you have personal experience with this. I will be grateful.

Well, I can see what you are probably going for. Sounds like you know what your plan is but not how to enact it, so to speak. I can't really offer much advice, as I'd be lacking the same experience on the subject matter. That said, I have taken a recent interest in the tag of polyomorous relationships, mainly because I want to see if any author invoking it thinks it is even possible, and to draw out what it would be like. Have yet to find one worth mentioning.

I've watched some anime before, many of which had these "harems" as plot device or something else, and in virtually all of them, I wanted to puke each time it was mentioned, merely because it was done so, halfheartedly. All I can say to you for now is, these romantic feelings the characters have for each other SHOULD be held with importance, with substance, something the reader can feel and become immersed in.

I can't stand when somebody makes a harem merely for the tag or to use it as nothing more than filling a plot hole, being unrealistic about how it would actually feel with 20 girls throwing themself at a bland main character... Sorry, I got a little off track there. I think you are in fact NOT overthinking this. It's important to bring a level of realism where the romance is involved, and reason to it. Reading examples would be great, but, I've had trouble finding any good examples.

Also, I think some others have some advice on this as well in the forum.