First time new writer in this sitee~ Need some honest feedback to my story.

[SirContro]

Git Gud.

In all honesty, I am very pleased with your summary. A bit generic, but it briefly introduces the world, the main characters and the story surrounding them without droning on. You could definitely elaborate a bit more on the plot rather than the setting to make your story stand out to new readers but so far I like what I'm seeing.

 

[Edeshei]

I've read the first chapter, and am liking it so far.

OUH YAYYY

Git Gud.

In all honesty, I am very pleased with your summary. A bit generic, but it briefly introduces the world, the main characters and the story surrounding them without droning on. You could definitely elaborate a bit more on the plot rather than the setting to make your story stand out to new readers but so far I like what I'm seeing.

Ouhh okeehh, I have another blurb prepared but I thought it was too long? So I ended up not putting it on hmmm

 

[Macha]

Ouhh okeehh

@Mellohwa is that you?

 

[Edeshei]

Git Gud.

In all honesty, I am very pleased with your summary. A bit generic, but it briefly introduces the world, the main characters and the story surrounding them without droning on. You could definitely elaborate a bit more on the plot rather than the setting to make your story stand out to new readers but so far I like what I'm seeing.

@Mellohwa is that you?

Im a seperate person ( T∀T)

 

[AstreiaNyx]

A long time ago, a war began to overcome the world. The Gods battled each other till only eighty-eight of them remained. A Goddess named Astra topped among all and ended the war before the world could be a living chaos. She coalesced the eigjty-eight Gods now bearing the name of constellations to form the world of Celestials, a realm bound by stars, magic, elementals, and myths.

She divided the eighty-eight Gods into their respective regions into two empires.

Celestia dawned with the thought of hope or darkness. Will this be a chance to redeem what is gone? Or a massacre of darkness refolding?

This is my new synopsis, is this a bit better?


Im a seperate person ( T∀T)

Astra
Celestials
Goddess
stars, magic, elementals, and myths.

***

Maybe we are the same person.

***


On a serious note, while the lore is quite interesting, it was a bit of a surprise when Astra, whom you spent three paragraphs describing, dies?

Who is the actual protagonist?

Would it be possible to learn more about them in the synopsis, rather than focusing on the lore/setting?



Ps: typo eigjty-eight

 

[Edeshei]

Astra
Celestials
Goddess
stars, magic, elementals, and myths.

***

Maybe we are the same person.

***


On a serious note, while the lore is quite interesting, it was a bit of a surprise when Astra, whom you spent three paragraphs describing, dies?

Who is the actual protagonist?

Would it be possible to learn more about them in the synopsis, rather than focusing on the lore/setting?



Ps: typo eigjty-eight

It's for you to find outt ??? uh well im still asking the forum if it's this synopsis is good or not.

Here's the link https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1578906/caelestialis/

And yes I will look into the typos hehe ♡ thanks againn

Astra
Celestials
Goddess
stars, magic, elementals, and myths.

***

Maybe we are the same person.

***


On a serious note, while the lore is quite interesting, it was a bit of a surprise when Astra, whom you spent three paragraphs describing, dies?

Who is the actual protagonist?

Would it be possible to learn more about them in the synopsis, rather than focusing on the lore/setting?



Ps: typo eigjty-eight

Hmmm maybe I should integrate the characters more I guess. Aight I'll make a better blurb. I NEED YALL'S OPINION AFTER. I'LL BE BACK

 

[RainingFish]

Astra
Celestials
Goddess
stars, magic, elementals, and myths.

***

Maybe we are the same person.

***


On a serious note, while the lore is quite interesting, it was a bit of a surprise when Astra, whom you spent three paragraphs describing, dies?

Who is the actual protagonist?

Would it be possible to learn more about them in the synopsis, rather than focusing on the lore/setting?



Ps: typo eigjty-eight

I have a guess the MC is Astra reincarnated.

 

[Akkizakura]

Thank you so much!! I didnt know that, how do you insert this in link?

Carefully. Use condoms.

 

[ReiHayashi]

Nah hahahahah if my mc would be reincarnated, my story shpuldve had a reincarnation tag uwu

I would dw
AIGHT I NEED YALL'S PERSPECTIVE ON THIS.

NEW SYNOPSIS!!

The stars are vanishing. The gods are silent. And in the fractured world they’ve left behind, survival has become a prayer few bother to utter.

In the once-prosperous city of Araes, the disappearance of the deity Razla (Ara) has plunged the land into chaos. The people suffer, abandoned by their god, while crime and desperation fester in the streets. Dawn is a skilled reluctant thief but struggles to survive alongside her optimistic older sister, Esther.

Far from Araes, forgotten powers awaken in the ruins of sacred places. A girl with unshakable hope. A man with too much blood on his hands. A wanderer who once spoke with the divine. Their fates are bound to something older than the gods, something that remembers a time before the stars fell.

Ancient powers start to move once more, softly, patiently, and hungryly, as constellations fade and faith becomes fiery. As the empire teeters on the edge of ruin, Dawn must navigate a world where survival demands sacrifice and the past is never far behind.
Hellp me ?

Hmm maybe it's just me, but I feel like you are repeating a lot of stuff in your synopsis that are already pretty obvious at first glance (eg. "once-prosperous" already implies that the land now is in chaos and stuff, so the sentence afterwards feels redundant). Another thing is that "navigate a world where...past is never far behind" is a very vague and cliche sentence that does not tell me what to expect from your story, which I can overlook somewhat but other readers may not like it. Other than that and the typo errors it looks solid

 

[OokamiOkuri]

Other than that and the typo errors it looks solid

The typo errors are actually a good sign. That usually means the story isn't AI-generated/edited.

 

[Edeshei]

The typo errors are actually a good sign. That usually means the story isn't AI-generated/edited.

Trueeee I would never use AI ? as I've said I'm an amateur in structuring my story for synopsis ✨️

Hmm maybe it's just me, but I feel like you are repeating a lot of stuff in your synopsis that are already pretty obvious at first glance (eg. "once-prosperous" already implies that the land now is in chaos and stuff, so the sentence afterwards feels redundant). Another thing is that "navigate a world where...past is never far behind" is a very vague and cliche sentence that does not tell me what to expect from your story, which I can overlook somewhat but other readers may not like it. Other than that and the typo errors it looks solid

Okaaayyy I'll edit those redundancies :> thank youuu

Hmm maybe it's just me, but I feel like you are repeating a lot of stuff in your synopsis that are already pretty obvious at first glance (eg. "once-prosperous" already implies that the land now is in chaos and stuff, so the sentence afterwards feels redundant). Another thing is that "navigate a world where...past is never far behind" is a very vague and cliche sentence that does not tell me what to expect from your story, which I can overlook somewhat but other readers may not like it. Other than that and the typo errors it looks solid

Alrigthy so readers prefers the whole subplot on the synopsis then? Hmmm aight.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Alrigthy so readers prefers the whole subplot on the synopsis then? Hmmm aight.

Just try to keep the synopsis short and sweet and use it to make a potential reader curious about the story, rather than actually telling them what the story is,

 

[Edeshei]

Just try to keep the synopsis short and sweet and use it to make a potential reader curious about the story, rather than actually telling them what the story is.

Okkeeehhh will doo :> thanks agaaainnn ⭐️✨️??

 

[StoneInky]

Carefully. Use condoms.

You're turning into Macha... I didn't know you were the same person!

 

[Empress_Omnii]

Thank you so much!! I didnt know that, how do you insert this in link?

You can just paste it and it should automatically embed.

If you do this:
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1578906/caelestialis/

it will do it for you (it doesn't in this case because I forced the formatting to not change with a bb code) Sorry for the delay, I went to sleep and only thought to answer now.

 

[SurfAngel_1031]

Caelestialis

SLOW BURN| DARK FANTASY | ROMANTIC ANGST | PROGRESSION In the once-prosperous city of Araes, the disappearance of the deity Razla has plunged the land into chaos. The people suffer, abandoned by their god, while crime and desperation fester in the streets. Dawn is a skilled reluctant thief but...

www.scribblehub.com

Here's the link. Many people prefer having it linked over having to look (even if it's in your signature, as they don't show up on mobile)

As for feedback. It's not gay, so a tragedy. I've got way too many other books on the go. In my case only gay stories bypass that queue, so sorry for the lack of feedback.

Your signature is visible on mobile, you just have to turn it to the side

 

[Empress_Omnii]

Your signature is visible on mobile, you just have to turn it to the side

I know. You can also enable desktop layouts on some browsers. Still, having the novel linked seems to be generally preferred, be it because they're on mobile or otherwise.

 

[SurfAngel_1031]

I know. You can also enable desktop layouts on some browsers. Still, having the novel linked seems to be generally preferred, be it because they're on mobile or otherwise.

you mean like this?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1530747/amber--vasia/
?

 

[Edeshei]

You guys can still check the story if ye wannt ?

 

[Mellohwa]

@Mellohwa is that you?

Ouuuhhh? NOpeee