Dawnathon
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- Sep 27, 2025
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Hello, I had written a fight scene recently that I'd like some feedback on. You can find it here.
Just for some context, the protagonist is the titular shapeshifter, but it's a slow process. She can prepare things in advance, but it can't create much on the fly. She has used it to give herself beastly levels of strength and endurance, and separately she can use wind magic (used for both creating and negating the respective element). For all her strength, she is trying to take this unknown assailant alive.
Review it however you wish, but these are the main questions I'd like to hear your answer on:
1.) How is the pacing overall? Too fast, too slow, inconsistent, etc.
2.) How weighty do the attacks feel? Do they portray a lot of impact, or do they feel toothless?
3.) How coherent is the action? Did you ever lose track of what was going on, or could you picture the fight well enough throughout?
4.) Did the fight end too quickly, or did it feel like it lasted long enough to sell the scene?
5.) Should there be more background effects going on? Describing panic from any observers, possible police sirens in the distance, the way fire (inconsequentially) singes background objects, other environmental details not part of the fight itself.
Just for some context, the protagonist is the titular shapeshifter, but it's a slow process. She can prepare things in advance, but it can't create much on the fly. She has used it to give herself beastly levels of strength and endurance, and separately she can use wind magic (used for both creating and negating the respective element). For all her strength, she is trying to take this unknown assailant alive.
Review it however you wish, but these are the main questions I'd like to hear your answer on:
1.) How is the pacing overall? Too fast, too slow, inconsistent, etc.
2.) How weighty do the attacks feel? Do they portray a lot of impact, or do they feel toothless?
3.) How coherent is the action? Did you ever lose track of what was going on, or could you picture the fight well enough throughout?
4.) Did the fight end too quickly, or did it feel like it lasted long enough to sell the scene?
5.) Should there be more background effects going on? Describing panic from any observers, possible police sirens in the distance, the way fire (inconsequentially) singes background objects, other environmental details not part of the fight itself.