Writing Prompt Fantasy magic show or a comedy show

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Tell a story about a magic or a comedy show that is held in a fantasy world. This can be in any format, but it should not exceed 3k words. The "or" can also be considered inclusive if you want. Meaning that it can combine the two.
 

HelloHound

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"Did you watch last night's race?"
"Yeah, too bad the monster trucks swallowed the referees"
"kinda dumb that after one was swallowed another just showed up"
"doppelganger conventions usually have hiring stalls for jobs like this and dragon dentistry"
 
D

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"Did you watch last night's race?"
"Yeah, too bad the monster trucks swallowed the referees"
"kinda dumb that after one was swallowed another just showed up"
"doppelganger conventions usually have hiring stalls for jobs like this and dragon dentistry"
It took me a good 4 minutes to get this lol
 

dummycake

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"We're back to 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire'. We're here with Denise, a 1000 year old vampire. How are you feeling, Denise?"

"If my heart worked like a human, I would already had an heart attack two questions ago."

"Hahaha. So, we're really close to the one million royals. I want to ask you, what will you do with this money?"

"Haa~ I think I want to repair my castle and give the rest to my dragon wife"

"Oh, your wife? Is she here with us?"

"She's that giant red one. It's hard to miss her. Hi, darling!"

"Now... For a million royals, this is the last question..."

"Ok."

"What is a human's favorite food?

A. Bread

B. Pigs

C. Cows

D. None"

"Hoo~ That's a hard one... Vampires drink blood, Ghouls and zombies eat meat, and Dragons eat sheep they steal from humans..."

"Remember, you can't use an Ouija board, you can't ask for help from the audience, or 50:50."

"Ok, ok... I'll choose A, last time I saw an human, they were weak, skinny and were holding into a bread like Goblins holding a female human."

"I'm sorry to say... You're wrong. The correct answer was D."

"WHAT?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Denise. You're not getting the million royals."

"HISS~ YOU DAMN WEREWOLF."

And then she killed a werewolf in national television.
 
D

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"We're back to 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire'. We're here with Denise, a 1000 year old vampire. How are you feeling, Denise?"

"If my heart worked like a human, I would already had an heart attack two questions ago."

"Hahaha. So, we're really close to the one million royals. I want to ask you, what will you do with this money?"

"Haa~ I think I want to repair my castle and give the rest to my dragon wife"

"Oh, your wife? Is she here with us?"

"She's that giant red one. It's hard to miss her. Hi, darling!"

"Now... For a million royals, this is the last question..."

"Ok."

"What is a human's favorite food?

A. Bread

B. Pigs

C. Cows

D. None"

"Hoo~ That's a hard one... Vampires drink blood, Ghouls and zombies eat meat, and Dragons eat sheep they steal from humans..."

"Remember, you can't use an Ouija board, you can't ask for help from the audience, or 50:50."

"Ok, ok... I'll choose A, last time I saw an human, they were weak, skinny and were holding into a bread like Goblins holding a female human."

"I'm sorry to say... You're wrong. The correct answer was D."

"WHAT?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Denise. You're not getting the million royals."

"HISS~ YOU DAMN WEREWOLF."

And then she killed a werewolf in national television.
Vampires can be friends of the werewolves! Just ask @HelloHound. Why is a human's favorite food none? I don't get it!
 

dummycake

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"How are you feeling, Satoshi?" An elf woman asked the boy by her side, pointing a magical device at him. "I'm feeling pretty excited, Galoria," he gave his trademark confident protagonist smile that made several two-dimensional women fall in love with him.

"Hehe, good." Galoria chuckled and blushed. This human doesn't have his CHARM maxed out, right? There's no way I would fall for a human! "Now, let's show your old sword."

The screen showed an old silver sword. It was obvious that it had been used in several battles. The tip was chipped, and the ruby on the handle was dim and cracked.

"Are you ready for your new sword, Hero?" She asked him. He replied, still with his confident smile. "I was reincarnated ready!"

A magic circle appeared on top of the sword, disintegrating it. In its place...

"HOLY SHIT!"

"That's right. We made you a mythril-adamantium sword," The elf smiled and continued, "It was enchanted with ten different Rank A spells, including OmniMaximum Sharpness and Origin Hellfire."

The elf enjoyed seeing his expression of disbelief. "And that's not all. We went to the four elemental temples, and the four saints blessed the sword just for you!"

"Oh my..." Is it really that easy to get a cheat item? His mind returned to Salveria, and he looked at the female elf. A thought came to his mind. "If I want to keep this character going, I have to do this."

He grabbed the elf woman by her arm, "Eek! What?" and gave her a kiss. She said, "By the Goddesses..." He ran, grabbed his sword, and prepared his teleportation spell.

"Wait! Hero!"

"Hm?"

"When... when can I see you again?"

He smirked.

"I believe the Goddess of Fate will cross our paths again."

"Oh..."

"Until then... I'll keep you in my soul. That's where it matters."

Swoosh.

"How romantic..."

Giggles.

"Umm... Ma'am... We're still live."

"What?!"
 
D

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"How are you feeling, Satoshi?" An elf woman asked the boy by her side, pointing a magical device at him. "I'm feeling pretty excited, Galoria," he gave his trademark confident protagonist smile that made several two-dimensional women fall in love with him.

"Hehe, good." Galoria chuckled and blushed. This human doesn't have his CHARM maxed out, right? There's no way I would fall for a human! "Now, let's show your old sword."

The screen showed an old silver sword. It was obvious that it had been used in several battles. The tip was chipped, and the ruby on the handle was dim and cracked.

"Are you ready for your new sword, Hero?" She asked him. He replied, still with his confident smile. "I was reincarnated ready!"

A magic circle appeared on top of the sword, disintegrating it. In its place...

"HOLY SHIT!"

"That's right. We made you a mythril-adamantium sword," The elf smiled and continued, "It was enchanted with ten different Rank A spells, including OmniMaximum Sharpness and Origin Hellfire."

The elf enjoyed seeing his expression of disbelief. "And that's not all. We went to the four elemental temples, and the four saints blessed the sword just for you!"

"Oh my..." Is it really that easy to get a cheat item? His mind returned to Salveria, and he looked at the female elf. A thought came to his mind. "If I want to keep this character going, I have to do this."

He grabbed the elf woman by her arm, "Eek! What?" and gave her a kiss. She said, "By the Goddesses..." He ran, grabbed his sword, and prepared his teleportation spell.

"Wait! Hero!"

"Hm?"

"When... when can I see you again?"

He smirked.

"I believe the Goddess of Fate will cross our paths again."

"Oh..."

"Until then... I'll keep you in my soul. That's where it matters."

Swoosh.

"How romantic..."

Giggles.

"Umm... Ma'am... We're still live."

"What?!"
This is why elves are stupid.
 

Corty

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"Yesterday's Cirque du Freak was whack. The dude who did a show on the stage is not even a real magician, he sawed a man in two, but turns out it was just two goblins in a box..."

"Tell me about, it, I went into their Magic Mirror Castle but I saw nothing in it."

"Aren't you a vampire?"

"And? It was supposed to be made out of magic mirror... Anyway, their snake-man was fake, it was Priscilla, the lamia from the town over! Lamias are not snakes!"

"Let's not get political... again... please. You were on about letting werewolves stroll in the parks without a leash last week!"
 
D

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The coliseum was filled to the brim with spectators. The many amphibians, reptiles, furry, and hairy peoples stood in anticipation of an act no one had seen before. The fliers outside of the arena had a form of entertainment never before seen in the world of Uluum. Everyone had come to watch the so called bringer of peace known as stand-up comedy. Envy had made a name for herself as a vampiric observational comedian. She took to the stage as all of the people became silent, waiting for her to speak.

"Mghmmm..." She cleared her voice. Is this thing on? She tapped the runes around her magic microphone, and the thing shimmered, projecting it's light into the theatre for but a moment. The crowd remained silent, but Envy became determined as she swept her gaze across the crowd for the first time.

"So...this is my first time on a big stage. I see we got dragons in the crowd. What's up @Prince_Azmiran_Myrian? I see we got blobs too. Aye, @greyblob. We even got a princess. Yo @SailusGebel"

"If you are in the crowd you are likely already in Prince's hoard, but if you aren't then you are probably a question mark. By the way, what's the deal with punctuation marks controlling the rules anyway? Shouldn't they be the ones asking the questions of superiors? Leave it up to a real man to make the rules...Someone with spunk...Someone with pizzazz...I am of course referring to the neighborhood princess gebelina."

"Geblina has more spunk than the cysts that grace @NotaNuffian. Geblina has more sass than the memes of @Sola-sama...Most of all she has more controversial opinions than the other question mark."

"Speaking of question marks and genderbent exclamation points, what about that @Anon2023 guy eh? That guy was wanting to be the head hancho so bad he put himself as the main character of his own lore. @Hans.Trondheim the artist even signed off on it. You couldn't get a bigger conspiracy than if you talked to that one guy who called Tony a snowflake."

"Anyway, I am going to get canceled for this, so I intend to also talk about the toxic vampire that blew up for no reason. I mean, she is so cringe that not even dracula would put her head on a pike. Her rhyme schemes are worse than if @RepresentingEnvy the autist got hit by a wooden log and tried to take up mumble rapping."

"Alright, that is all the time we got for today ladies and gentlemen. Toxic vampy is signing out."
 
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