Arch9CivilReactor
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So I finished the first chapter of ‘The Thuggish Dude Goes To The Card Academy’ (pending title) and am reflecting on what I wrote. Specifically on the development rather than the writing. I’m trying to make sure my brain understands what my heart desires to write. Something like that.
So I started off with the main character’s nostalgia and him predicting the future, then going into how he is a time traveller that read a book about the future. This part he himself didn’t know was real until actually waking up here.
The details of his past and how he got into the city were dumbed down to focus on where he is now. He gets ready for the induction into the academy. Shows off his personality and how he thinks he looks ‘heroic’ rather than thuggish.
Using magnetic buttons on his shirt to wear his jacket like a cape and rolling up his sleeves. I tried to focus more on his personality and desires rather than world details. Since he was in the present, I focused on his current self.
My plan was to get more into his past on Ch 2.
After a brief introduction to the main character, I got him rolling. While getting to the academy, he crashes into his future teammate. A wheelchair bound girl with the same hair colour and eyes as him, but has a completely different appearance.
She initially thinks he is just a thug, but it then surprised by his politeness and pleasant personality. His brown hair and red eyes made her believe they came from the same country of origin, but doesn’t know much about him yet.
After apologising, the MC takes on a thrilling ride and jumps over a street to get there faster.
Understanding more about his personality.
They separate after getting there, but he hopes they meet again since he is a teenager that has the hots for her. Then goes on to seeing the vice principal of the academy on stage and getting a brief rundown on how the academy will work.
Despite being in different years, the vice principal asks them to note that the academy has only been founded recently. Foreshadowing about the principal, introducing the ‘novel protagonists’, and other things are done until the MC moment.
The big moment I wanted to focus on in the first chapter was that the MC is the only F Rank Magic Talent in the academy, but makes up for it with countless skill cards that were extracted from him for all to see. His being dozens of them,
While others only had seven cards max, the MC spent his earliest memories in his past life training on a mountain. He wasn’t sure of his own age, but was certain he’d stayed on that mountain while being trained for three years.
Then fought people for entertainment after that.
He realises that there were many techniques in the pile of cards he didn’t remember, and that some of his techniques were named weird. The possibility of his personal cards being named wrong was low, since they were spiritual names.
To end the chapter, I focused on the reaction of two individuals who reacted strongly when his personal cards were shown on screen. One of them being a student like him, but an even worse thug that immediately attacks him on stage.
Due to skipping breakfast, fatigue from the extraction itself, and the suddenness of the person’s actions… He is knocked out. The end of the chapter focusing on that the other person who was interested and what she labelled him.
Calling him a grave robber.
———————————————
This chapter was supposed to contrast the MC’s nice personality with how others perceive him. It was supposed to show that while he may act nice and pleasant, his past was not simple. The fellow student calling him a ‘thief’ setup for being his first opponent that he’d fight the next chapter.
What I plan is to show that Lex’s adoptive father and him had jointly raided the clan of someone I’d mentioned in a draft for his teammates. He is called Fritz Lazrik, and is the only surviving member of a fallen clan of exorcists.
The battle between these two is supposed to show how the same abilities can turn into something completely different by expression of the user. Both of them had awakened a randomly shaped ‘Spirit Weapon’ in this first chapter.
Fritz’s weapon is revealed to be knuckle dusters of the light/fire attribute. The main character having awakened a baseball bat spirit weapon with seven attributes. He focuses on this since he believes that ‘trump cards’ are best kept secret. Focusing on using a specific blend of cards in Chapter 2 to win against Fritz.
I’m not sure if this draft makes sense when I say it out loud (since there are times it makes sense to me, but not to my readers). Is there a way to foreshadow a fight before it happens?
I feel like the ending could be done better since a lot of things just happen simultaneously. That being the ‘MC moment’ going directly into his first confrontation. I feel I’ve failed to buildup but don’t know how to connect the first part of the chapter with the latter half.
That is my main worry.
So I started off with the main character’s nostalgia and him predicting the future, then going into how he is a time traveller that read a book about the future. This part he himself didn’t know was real until actually waking up here.
The details of his past and how he got into the city were dumbed down to focus on where he is now. He gets ready for the induction into the academy. Shows off his personality and how he thinks he looks ‘heroic’ rather than thuggish.
Using magnetic buttons on his shirt to wear his jacket like a cape and rolling up his sleeves. I tried to focus more on his personality and desires rather than world details. Since he was in the present, I focused on his current self.
My plan was to get more into his past on Ch 2.
After a brief introduction to the main character, I got him rolling. While getting to the academy, he crashes into his future teammate. A wheelchair bound girl with the same hair colour and eyes as him, but has a completely different appearance.
She initially thinks he is just a thug, but it then surprised by his politeness and pleasant personality. His brown hair and red eyes made her believe they came from the same country of origin, but doesn’t know much about him yet.
After apologising, the MC takes on a thrilling ride and jumps over a street to get there faster.
Understanding more about his personality.
They separate after getting there, but he hopes they meet again since he is a teenager that has the hots for her. Then goes on to seeing the vice principal of the academy on stage and getting a brief rundown on how the academy will work.
Despite being in different years, the vice principal asks them to note that the academy has only been founded recently. Foreshadowing about the principal, introducing the ‘novel protagonists’, and other things are done until the MC moment.
The big moment I wanted to focus on in the first chapter was that the MC is the only F Rank Magic Talent in the academy, but makes up for it with countless skill cards that were extracted from him for all to see. His being dozens of them,
While others only had seven cards max, the MC spent his earliest memories in his past life training on a mountain. He wasn’t sure of his own age, but was certain he’d stayed on that mountain while being trained for three years.
Then fought people for entertainment after that.
He realises that there were many techniques in the pile of cards he didn’t remember, and that some of his techniques were named weird. The possibility of his personal cards being named wrong was low, since they were spiritual names.
To end the chapter, I focused on the reaction of two individuals who reacted strongly when his personal cards were shown on screen. One of them being a student like him, but an even worse thug that immediately attacks him on stage.
Due to skipping breakfast, fatigue from the extraction itself, and the suddenness of the person’s actions… He is knocked out. The end of the chapter focusing on that the other person who was interested and what she labelled him.
Calling him a grave robber.
———————————————
This chapter was supposed to contrast the MC’s nice personality with how others perceive him. It was supposed to show that while he may act nice and pleasant, his past was not simple. The fellow student calling him a ‘thief’ setup for being his first opponent that he’d fight the next chapter.
What I plan is to show that Lex’s adoptive father and him had jointly raided the clan of someone I’d mentioned in a draft for his teammates. He is called Fritz Lazrik, and is the only surviving member of a fallen clan of exorcists.
The battle between these two is supposed to show how the same abilities can turn into something completely different by expression of the user. Both of them had awakened a randomly shaped ‘Spirit Weapon’ in this first chapter.
Fritz’s weapon is revealed to be knuckle dusters of the light/fire attribute. The main character having awakened a baseball bat spirit weapon with seven attributes. He focuses on this since he believes that ‘trump cards’ are best kept secret. Focusing on using a specific blend of cards in Chapter 2 to win against Fritz.
I’m not sure if this draft makes sense when I say it out loud (since there are times it makes sense to me, but not to my readers). Is there a way to foreshadow a fight before it happens?
I feel like the ending could be done better since a lot of things just happen simultaneously. That being the ‘MC moment’ going directly into his first confrontation. I feel I’ve failed to buildup but don’t know how to connect the first part of the chapter with the latter half.
That is my main worry.