Check Me Out?

Wohendum-Bluu

When Blue Just Isn't Quite Blue Enough
Joined
Jan 20, 2019
Messages
112
Points
83
S.H.A.D.E.

Was hoping the peeps here could take a look at my stuff. Feedback is appreciate of course. As for what sort of feedback I'm looking for, I would say more plot and so on, but if you wish to toss in some grammar assistance, that's fine too.
 

Erroneous

[Blissful Indolence]
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
91
Points
73
The synopsis seems interesting, so I'll add it to the list and give a peek.

Speaking of the synopsis, in it you mention "Bram Blaccc decides to stake his claim..." Was that intentional, because I'm a fan of puns.
 
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Wohendum-Bluu

When Blue Just Isn't Quite Blue Enough
Joined
Jan 20, 2019
Messages
112
Points
83
The synopsis seems interesting, so I'll add it to the list and give a peek.

Speaking of the synopsis, in it you mention "Bram Blaccc decides to stake his claim..." Was that intentional, because I'm a fan of puns.
Oh nah, but now that you mention it....that is pretty good/funny. Shame I didn't mean to do it on purpose.
I mean *ahem*....yeah of course I did. Totally planned. I'm a genius that way. Praise me more.
 
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