First of all, your story is using the basics of writing neatly yet imperfect, needless to say, that's a part of a story's charm to impassion the readers to keep on reading until the end... though, even when that would be a plus when it comes to writing, the story begs to differ on a much larger scale.
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Your synopsis has no enthusiasm to deliver a 'hook' (to interest readers of your story) and is short enough for people to respect. it's like your still developing all the lores in your story and haven't managed to come to the point where your synopsis could be fully written. Of course, there are people who write without fully planning their outline, going along with the flow with whatever they are writing but that isn't a reason to make some garbage synopsis. In any case, with the way you write your chapters, surely, you must be able to create an even better synopsis - a synopsis that offers curiosity and a good story.
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A
brave morally courageous calm boy
who wanted to live his own life? (this sounds like the most obviously stated and dull representation of a petty purpose) and a
stubborn perversely unyielding obstinate girl
who wanted to rise over everyone else? (you'll have to be more detailed on their purpose and their idiosyncrasies. In addition, say their name... no one wants to read a story with a very dull and distasteful synopsis.)
Fates intertwined,
they will go in on a journey to uncover the truth,
side by side,
as the silver-eyed one and calamity approach? (no need to say the word 'side-by-side' and 'they' because they both interpret that they are going together on a journey. Also, I think I'd rather love 'as the silver-eyed calamity approach.)
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Your story has neat writing, insofar, yet has the same tone as the synopsis. Plainly short, and insurmountably boring! The story is slow-paced and the pieces of information that are given don't just get dumped to the reader immediately - which is good. The story maybe is short, but I still happen to get bored while reading it... prolly because it doesn't have many interesting things that are happening and only delves on a demon and the heroes of the past.
The story has to have
conflict in each scene to escalate the interest of our reader. For example, if a killer with an axe is chasing a girl around in the woods, that's a good conflict.
Telling, not showing!
There’s an old saying in writing; show, don’t tell. But what does that actually mean? Telling is the natural way to explain a story, that’s why you ‘tell’ stories around a campfire. However, readers are more interested in having a story appeal to their senses than to their brain. It’s almost like feeling a story.
Telling a story reads like this:
- The woman lowered the sledgehammer down on the skull and smashed it.
You can see the woman, the skull, and the sledgehammer, but it only connects with people at an intellectual level. They aren’t caught up in the story because they didn’t feel anything.
- The sledgehammer slammed into the skull with a satisfying crunch, creating an explosion of bone dust and shrapnel.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of telling instead of showing. After all, not only is it our default, it’s just easier. Too much tell and not enough show will kill what could otherwise be a great story.
In addition, it is recommended you use Grammarly to learn the depths of editing your own chapters, as it heightens your knowledge on what to be improved upon and fix basic mistakes I didn't have time to point. But remember, don't always rely on Grammarly if you do use it... a wordsmith creates words using its own fingers, not the machine.
4/10 - If we consider the three chapters to be all the chapters then that'll probably be my overall score. Keep on improving and publishing chapters - the time will probably come when this score will increase to what you feel it fit.
