I speed read through the 1st chapter. In my opinion the writing is pretty understandable however if I were to be picky I'd say to work on your tenses. Some of the words used were in the wrong tense and other sentences come out as weird flow wise. I took the liberty of analyzing a portion of your 1st chapter and trying to explain the weirdness behind it. I hope it helps.
Chapter one:
This is in Advanced Math Class, but someone screams out of his lungs and dirty words come out of his mouth
This particular sentence has a jarring flow. The readers already know someone shouted so it's better to give them a setting. In what situation did the student shout? Then lead the reader into what is the reaction of the people around him. Screams is in present tense but the proper tense to use in this situation would be the past tense since the boy had already screamed. However I am using a different word in my example to give a rougher feeling to his scream which is "yell" as it has a rougher connotation connected to it.
Example: The class stopped what they were doing, directing their attention to the boy who had yelled foul words.
The f*k! I gazed at the man who just screaming. This student screams also alarmed the others, and the professor was in the middle of explaining a complicated formula. But, as if he's living in his own world, he stood silly with a smartphone in hand and continue scrolling. Didn't care a single bit toward the many students' gaze on him.
Again, tenses "screaming" is supposed to be "screamed". Also "gaze" tends to imply a long, direct and somewhat mild look at someone, my suggestion is to use "glance" which gives off a "quick look" or" out of the corner of my eye" kind of feel.
I'd write the paragraph this way:
The f*k?! I glanced at the man who screamed. The other students were disturbed, as well as the old professor who was in the middle of discussing a complicated formula. However the boy continued scrolling on his phone, ignoring the others.
^ the idea of "living in his own world" and "ignoring gazes" are redundant in use and give off different feelings. The best to use in this situation would be the "ignoring other's gazes" as this feel is more of a "I don't care what you think" and is more fitting for the situation.
Also it makes it easier for the reader to read things if you
italicize the thoughts of a character.
"Mr. Kuncara, why are you shouting in my class? Are you trying to disrupt other students?" the old professor whose hair already turn silver asked.
But, the man still busied himself with his smartphone.
This portion is pretty ok. Just that you can shorten "the old professor whose hair already turn silver" into "The silver haired professor" if you're worried about people not knowing the professor's age then don't. The professor's age was mentioned in an earlier paragraph. It was written "the old professor" honestly we can even skip out telling people his hair turned silver as most of the time when people grow old their hair turns white or silver.
This guy ..., how can he stand unperturbed with this much gaze. Even ignoring Prof. Eisenring's reprimand.
"Mr. Kuncara ...!? Are you listening?" Prof. Eisenring frowned his brow.
At last, that fella gazes back at the professor, but with eyes full of hostility.
"This guy.... how can he stand unperturbed with this much people staring at him." This sentence sounds better as we understand where the gaze is coming from and besides gaze isn't normally used in this context. The reader already knows the guy is ignoring Prof. Eisenring so you can skip on including "Even ignoring Prof. Eisenring's reprimand."
"Prof. Eisenring frowned his brow." I believe you might be trying to say "furrowed his brow" because once you say frowned you refer to a facial expression.
I curse at him in my mind for making things worse. I can hear others gasped with cold breath. This fellow student, what a gut. He dares to provoke and scold professor Eisenring. That's what they say with their expression.
The other students gasped, their faces plastered with "This guy has guts! He dares to go up against Professor Eisenring!" I mentally cursed at him for making things worse.
^try to imply things and do two things with one sentence. It makes the entire thing shorter. "this fellow student what a gut" this kind of sentence structure is implying that the student is a gut so i changed it to "This guy has guts!"
"You ...?! Get out of my class! Scram!" with a red face, Prof. Eisenring shouted. Well, if I'm in his position I'll beat the shit out of this rude student.
Well if I was in his place I'd beat the shit out of this rude student too.
^first part of the entire thing I can let pass but the last sentence can be reworked like so.
The fella with a grey cardigan and navy blue jeans pack up his things.
"Even without you telling me to do it, I will go on my own feet. Your class is boring, and the way you teach, not too good. I can't stand how you favor girls over us male students."
"Ahh ... and FYI I've mastered this problem for a long time! The solution for that formula is 15,491. Eazzy peazzy cheezzy wheezzy!"
If you're going to cut a character's dialogue it would be better to insert an action in the middle so we know that it's the same person who is speaking, otherwise the reader might get confused for a second.
"I'd go even without you telling me to! Your class is hella boring! You don't teach well and you always pick the girls over the boys!" He straightened his grey cardigan and packed his things. "Oh! By the way, I could solve this formula with my eyes closed! The answer is 15,491." He stuck his tongue out at the professor.
^you don't need to repeat the same idea in the same sentence. It makes things redundant. Once is enough.
I suggest you read how other authors write. It helps with increasing your understanding in grammar and context. You an also learn different ways to write a single sentence to give it a different feel.
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