Abytherix
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Context:
The MC (Kylrus) gets transmigrated into the body of the primary antagonist (Arthur) and basically realizes later in the story that it was all pre planned. In this chapter he is finally seeing the primary antagonist's past memories, this is a continuation. I wanted to make the antagonist really overpowered and cruel, and someone who is ready to do anything required for power, thus he even sacrificed his own brother in order to unlock forbidden magic. I want tips about how I can make this more emotional or if this is too much. I wanna leave a lasting impression of the antagonist on the reader. Here's the chapter:
Forbidden magic was something Arthur needed desperately. If he was able to master it, he would be able to dominate other transcendents. This was the key to his advancement.
But it required a blood sacrifice, this was the reason Arthur had not been able to use it before. But now was he thinking about if he should sacrifice his own family or not? No. Instead, he was just thinking about who he could sacrifice.
This man had received all the love he could his entire life, he was treated as the most important and valuable person in his family and was thus cared for. But he didn't care. If it would help him gain power, he was ready to make as many sacrifices as necessary. He only loved himself.
Suddenly a thought came to his mind.
"Leon."
He was the youngest son of the Drakenhart family, he was 8 years old, even younger than Isolde. The reason Arthur chose him was not because he cared more about the others, but it was purely strategic.
Leon had been born with a lifelong illness, which shattered a person's mana core at birth and would keep him powerless and extremely frail and weak his entire life.
Because of this, the royal family had hidden his birth. No one outside even knew that there was a prince called Leon. The royal family wanted to protect and isolate him from the outside world.
'Killing Leon would give me less trouble because of this.'
Arthur had made his mind; without further contemplation he reached the garden. It was a wholesome family gathering. Alice had Leon on her lap while she was singing him songs, Seraphina, Darius, Lysandra, Elowen and Isolde were also there having a conversation and cracking jokes with each other like normal siblings.
Shockingly even Lucian, who normally ignored such gatherings was sitting quietly and listening to the conversation, and the emperor Caelus, who was free from work was also there. It was indeed a peaceful family talk; no one would guess it was a royal family.
"Oh Arthur! You were the only person missing… Come join us!"
Alice cheerfully invited Arthur, making Lucian frown a little.
But shocking everyone, Arthur pulled out his sword, Solvyrion.
"What are you trying to do?"
Seraphina asked in a confused manner.
"Hand me Leon."
"Why??"
Alice asked in a hesitant tone.
"I want to free him of his misery."
These words completely shocked and terrified every single person present there.
Alice instantly covered Leon's ears and hugged him tightly.
Leon was a disabled and sick kid since childhood, thus his parents and siblings did everything they could to not let him feel different. They all made sure to take care of him and give him all the attention he needed. Even a lone person like Lucian also cared about him. He was everyone's cute little Leon.
"What are you saying???"
She asked in a trembling and furious voice.
"I won't ask again. Hand him over. Now."
"ENOUGH!"
Caelus, who had enough stood up, extremely angry.
At that point, he was fully normal and was not suffering from any disease. He was the second strongest person in the empire, and naturally would not let his son be killed.
"Or what?"
"You insolent brat! I've always excused your behavior… Perhaps I spoiled you too much… I will teach you a lesson so harsh that you would never view others as insects ever again!"
"Is that so?"
Arthur's voice came from behind Caelus's ear. He had disappeared from his sight and instantly appeared behind him.
"You!"
Caelus was not inexperienced, he immediately drew out his sword and—
CLANG
Their swords met. They instantly started exchanging blows so fast, it was invisible to others. Caelus was a monster, he had countless experience throughout the years of battle, but his opponent was Arthur.
This was not Kylrus, who lacked experience. Kylrus would have struggled to face Caelus in his prime, but Arthur?
In about 5 strikes, Caelus's sword was thrown away. Arthur's movements and force were so absurd, even Caelus was not able to keep track. How would experience help in such a fight?
SLAM
Without showing any mercy, Arthur kicked his own father, which sent him flying and crashing into the wall far away. He immediately started coughing blood.
"SLEEP!"
Seraphina couldn't just stand by anymore, she had no idea what had gotten into her brother's mind but she would surely not allow him to kill Leon. Her magic was horrifying; it had the ability to directly collapse a person's brain through complex illusions.
She didn't wish to kill Arthur and thus used a sleep spell but, Arthur remained completely indifferent.
"A 9th tier mage trying to attack a 10th tier mage? Have you forgotten everything I have taught you? Or are you not rational currently?"
SLAP
Arthur immediately closed their distance and slapped Seraphina, which made her fall to the ground in immense pain.
"Why are you doing this?? Are you possessed?"
Darius couldn't believe his eyes.
"We need to subdue him first Darius."
Lucian also had enough.
Both of them knew they were no match but still couldn't stand aside, thus they directly lunged towards Arthur. One 9th tier swordsman and one 8th tier swordsman but of course—
Arthur grabbed Lucian's sword with one hand, and blocked Darius's sword with Solvyrion. That one clash made Darius vomit blood, with just a swing of his sword he sent Darius flying and crashing away.
As for Lucian, he kicked him in the stomach and finally struck his head, making him lose consciousness.
"Arthur… Why??"
Alice was still clutching Leon hard. The child she had loved the most, was now mercilessly beating his own family and wanted to kill his own brother… She started regretting everything… This person never deserved their love. They always thought love would change Arthur's ideology about life, but they were completely wrong.
Lysandra, Elowen and Isolde had hugged each other trembling in pure fear, they couldn't confront Arthur as they were powerless.
"Mom don't make me use force."
"You need to kill me first! You beast of a son!"
Alice cried, her voice breaking.
Arthur just took a long sigh.
With just a little force, he snatched Leon away and pushed Alice back.
"Mommy… What does brother Arthur want to do to me? A-Am I in trouble?"
Leon asked innocently, looking at Arthur.
"NO ARTHUR I BEG YOU… PLEASE!"
Alice desperately tried running back toward him but—
SLICE
It was too late, before Leon could even know… His head had been severed without any hesitation.
"NOOOOOOOO...."
Alice dropped to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably, completely broken now.
"ARTHUR!!!!!!!!"
Caelus yelled, but not even in the position to stand up anymore.
"Finally…. Finally, I've done it. After years of hard work, I was finally able to achieve it…"
Arthur looked at the sky with an expressionless face.
"Why…"
Everyone looked at Arthur, someone they had considered their own with eyes full of betrayal and helplessness.
"Just because you're my family… Doesn't mean you're me."
Arthur finally looked down at them, who were lying on the ground.
"This was a necessary sacrifice."
"Is this karma?"
Caelus was also broken, he had himself killed and destroyed many families, he hadn't even spared children. And now his actions had come back at him, his own son killed his other son… If that isn't karma then what is?
"You are no longer a Drakenhart… I would rather die than give you the throne."
Caelus spoke in a faint voice.
"I don't want your powerless throne. But I can't have you hate me like that. It would be troublesome for my future plans."
"You still wish us to love you? After all you did?"
Seraphina spoke.
"What did I do?"
"Are you asking this to make us feel even worse? Even after killing Leon?"
"Who is Leon?"
His words made everyone even more furious, this man even refused to acknowledge his own brother but soon their eyes widened as—
"Notion."
As soon as he said that, everyone lost consciousness, their eyes became completely white, as if in a daze. This was the first time Arthur had used a forbidden spell, but this was the most dangerous one.
Unlike Kylrus, who due to his injury could only alter the past few minutes of the target's memories, Arthur, who had practiced the control of mana for years, could completely change a person's memories of their entire lives.
They woke up after a few hours, but none of them remembered what Arthur had done. But even worse, none of them even remembered they had a brother or a son named Leon. They forgot the complete existence of Leon.
Caelus only had three sons and four daughters. Alice still loved Arthur the most, Lucian still resented Arthur out of inferiority complex, Seraphina still admired and thought highly of Arthur, Darius still considered Arthur his idol. Everything was just like before.
The MC (Kylrus) gets transmigrated into the body of the primary antagonist (Arthur) and basically realizes later in the story that it was all pre planned. In this chapter he is finally seeing the primary antagonist's past memories, this is a continuation. I wanted to make the antagonist really overpowered and cruel, and someone who is ready to do anything required for power, thus he even sacrificed his own brother in order to unlock forbidden magic. I want tips about how I can make this more emotional or if this is too much. I wanna leave a lasting impression of the antagonist on the reader. Here's the chapter:
Forbidden magic was something Arthur needed desperately. If he was able to master it, he would be able to dominate other transcendents. This was the key to his advancement.
But it required a blood sacrifice, this was the reason Arthur had not been able to use it before. But now was he thinking about if he should sacrifice his own family or not? No. Instead, he was just thinking about who he could sacrifice.
This man had received all the love he could his entire life, he was treated as the most important and valuable person in his family and was thus cared for. But he didn't care. If it would help him gain power, he was ready to make as many sacrifices as necessary. He only loved himself.
Suddenly a thought came to his mind.
"Leon."
He was the youngest son of the Drakenhart family, he was 8 years old, even younger than Isolde. The reason Arthur chose him was not because he cared more about the others, but it was purely strategic.
Leon had been born with a lifelong illness, which shattered a person's mana core at birth and would keep him powerless and extremely frail and weak his entire life.
Because of this, the royal family had hidden his birth. No one outside even knew that there was a prince called Leon. The royal family wanted to protect and isolate him from the outside world.
'Killing Leon would give me less trouble because of this.'
Arthur had made his mind; without further contemplation he reached the garden. It was a wholesome family gathering. Alice had Leon on her lap while she was singing him songs, Seraphina, Darius, Lysandra, Elowen and Isolde were also there having a conversation and cracking jokes with each other like normal siblings.
Shockingly even Lucian, who normally ignored such gatherings was sitting quietly and listening to the conversation, and the emperor Caelus, who was free from work was also there. It was indeed a peaceful family talk; no one would guess it was a royal family.
"Oh Arthur! You were the only person missing… Come join us!"
Alice cheerfully invited Arthur, making Lucian frown a little.
But shocking everyone, Arthur pulled out his sword, Solvyrion.
"What are you trying to do?"
Seraphina asked in a confused manner.
"Hand me Leon."
"Why??"
Alice asked in a hesitant tone.
"I want to free him of his misery."
These words completely shocked and terrified every single person present there.
Alice instantly covered Leon's ears and hugged him tightly.
Leon was a disabled and sick kid since childhood, thus his parents and siblings did everything they could to not let him feel different. They all made sure to take care of him and give him all the attention he needed. Even a lone person like Lucian also cared about him. He was everyone's cute little Leon.
"What are you saying???"
She asked in a trembling and furious voice.
"I won't ask again. Hand him over. Now."
"ENOUGH!"
Caelus, who had enough stood up, extremely angry.
At that point, he was fully normal and was not suffering from any disease. He was the second strongest person in the empire, and naturally would not let his son be killed.
"Or what?"
"You insolent brat! I've always excused your behavior… Perhaps I spoiled you too much… I will teach you a lesson so harsh that you would never view others as insects ever again!"
"Is that so?"
Arthur's voice came from behind Caelus's ear. He had disappeared from his sight and instantly appeared behind him.
"You!"
Caelus was not inexperienced, he immediately drew out his sword and—
CLANG
Their swords met. They instantly started exchanging blows so fast, it was invisible to others. Caelus was a monster, he had countless experience throughout the years of battle, but his opponent was Arthur.
This was not Kylrus, who lacked experience. Kylrus would have struggled to face Caelus in his prime, but Arthur?
In about 5 strikes, Caelus's sword was thrown away. Arthur's movements and force were so absurd, even Caelus was not able to keep track. How would experience help in such a fight?
SLAM
Without showing any mercy, Arthur kicked his own father, which sent him flying and crashing into the wall far away. He immediately started coughing blood.
"SLEEP!"
Seraphina couldn't just stand by anymore, she had no idea what had gotten into her brother's mind but she would surely not allow him to kill Leon. Her magic was horrifying; it had the ability to directly collapse a person's brain through complex illusions.
She didn't wish to kill Arthur and thus used a sleep spell but, Arthur remained completely indifferent.
"A 9th tier mage trying to attack a 10th tier mage? Have you forgotten everything I have taught you? Or are you not rational currently?"
SLAP
Arthur immediately closed their distance and slapped Seraphina, which made her fall to the ground in immense pain.
"Why are you doing this?? Are you possessed?"
Darius couldn't believe his eyes.
"We need to subdue him first Darius."
Lucian also had enough.
Both of them knew they were no match but still couldn't stand aside, thus they directly lunged towards Arthur. One 9th tier swordsman and one 8th tier swordsman but of course—
Arthur grabbed Lucian's sword with one hand, and blocked Darius's sword with Solvyrion. That one clash made Darius vomit blood, with just a swing of his sword he sent Darius flying and crashing away.
As for Lucian, he kicked him in the stomach and finally struck his head, making him lose consciousness.
"Arthur… Why??"
Alice was still clutching Leon hard. The child she had loved the most, was now mercilessly beating his own family and wanted to kill his own brother… She started regretting everything… This person never deserved their love. They always thought love would change Arthur's ideology about life, but they were completely wrong.
Lysandra, Elowen and Isolde had hugged each other trembling in pure fear, they couldn't confront Arthur as they were powerless.
"Mom don't make me use force."
"You need to kill me first! You beast of a son!"
Alice cried, her voice breaking.
Arthur just took a long sigh.
With just a little force, he snatched Leon away and pushed Alice back.
"Mommy… What does brother Arthur want to do to me? A-Am I in trouble?"
Leon asked innocently, looking at Arthur.
"NO ARTHUR I BEG YOU… PLEASE!"
Alice desperately tried running back toward him but—
SLICE
It was too late, before Leon could even know… His head had been severed without any hesitation.
"NOOOOOOOO...."
Alice dropped to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably, completely broken now.
"ARTHUR!!!!!!!!"
Caelus yelled, but not even in the position to stand up anymore.
"Finally…. Finally, I've done it. After years of hard work, I was finally able to achieve it…"
Arthur looked at the sky with an expressionless face.
"Why…"
Everyone looked at Arthur, someone they had considered their own with eyes full of betrayal and helplessness.
"Just because you're my family… Doesn't mean you're me."
Arthur finally looked down at them, who were lying on the ground.
"This was a necessary sacrifice."
"Is this karma?"
Caelus was also broken, he had himself killed and destroyed many families, he hadn't even spared children. And now his actions had come back at him, his own son killed his other son… If that isn't karma then what is?
"You are no longer a Drakenhart… I would rather die than give you the throne."
Caelus spoke in a faint voice.
"I don't want your powerless throne. But I can't have you hate me like that. It would be troublesome for my future plans."
"You still wish us to love you? After all you did?"
Seraphina spoke.
"What did I do?"
"Are you asking this to make us feel even worse? Even after killing Leon?"
"Who is Leon?"
His words made everyone even more furious, this man even refused to acknowledge his own brother but soon their eyes widened as—
"Notion."
As soon as he said that, everyone lost consciousness, their eyes became completely white, as if in a daze. This was the first time Arthur had used a forbidden spell, but this was the most dangerous one.
Unlike Kylrus, who due to his injury could only alter the past few minutes of the target's memories, Arthur, who had practiced the control of mana for years, could completely change a person's memories of their entire lives.
They woke up after a few hours, but none of them remembered what Arthur had done. But even worse, none of them even remembered they had a brother or a son named Leon. They forgot the complete existence of Leon.
Caelus only had three sons and four daughters. Alice still loved Arthur the most, Lucian still resented Arthur out of inferiority complex, Seraphina still admired and thought highly of Arthur, Darius still considered Arthur his idol. Everything was just like before.