“Honey, I’m home,” Solo said, already peeling off his suit jacket.
“Ugh… today turned into a disaster,” he muttered, loosening his tie, then his shirt. “A complete disaster.”
He collapsed onto the bed face-first, landing like a fallen log.
“The Celeste and the elves are allying,” he groaned into the mattress. “Can you believe that? The judgmental elves! And the judgmental humans! Together? Judging what?!”
Silence.
Solo lifted his head slightly.
“Lilith, honey?” He sat up and looked around. “Are you in the bathroom?”
He raised his voice. “Are you still feeling sick?”
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then—
The bathroom door opened.
Slowly.
Dramatically.
A silhouette appeared. A woman’s silhouette. A very deliberate silhouette.
Lilith stepped out.
She stood in the doorway in a confident, dangerous pose, wearing lingerie that clearly violated the parental guidance rule.
“Yes,” she said, her voice low, slow, and dangerously smooth,
“I’m still sick.”
Solo blinked.
“Sick of waiting,” Lilith continued, her eyes glowing faintly,
“for a naughty orc… who made me wait… all… night… long…”
She began walking toward the bed.
Slowly.
Sensually.
Unnecessarily slowly.
Solo swallowed.
When she reached the bed, she didn’t sit beside him.
No.
She deliberately landed on the farthest side, then turned and began crawling toward him like a cat stalking prey. A very smug, very confident cat.
“Honey… wow…” Solo muttered, his brain visibly lagging behind the situation. “What’s the occasion?”
“Occasion?” Lilith said, pushing a hand against his chest.
Not gently.
Not weakly.
Just enough force to remind him she was max-level demon and he was… not.
“Ooff!” Solo was pressed back onto the mattress.
“Like the little piggies occasion?” Lilith whispered, climbing over him.
Her fingers touched his chest.
“This little piggy had an occasion to go to market…”
Her fingers walked downward, very deliberately.
“And this little piggy went home…”
The fingers kept walking.
“This little piggy had a roast beef…”
Dangerously low now.
“And this little piggy went—”
Solo gulped.
“Wee, wee, wee, all the way home.”
The piggy reached their destination. Solo’s soul briefly left his body and returned because of professionalism.
“U-uh, honey,” he said quickly, sweating. “I really appreciate this but… can we do this tomorrow?”
Lilith froze.
“I have a super early meeting with our ambassador,” Solo rushed on. “She was just kicked out from Elvandar and—”
Then—
“WHAT?!” Lilith snapped, “BAD PIGGY!”
“GYAAAH—DON’T SQUEEZE!” Solo screamed, suddenly discovering new octaves in his voice.
maybe that's why it's tough for me to grow my audience haha!
