HungrySheep
I like yuri
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2022
- Messages
- 633
- Points
- 133
That's a name I haven't heard in a long time.
A&Dtertainment
- Thread starter RepresentingPride
- Start date
TheEldritchGod
A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2021
- Messages
- 3,445
- Points
- 183
[Cracks Knuckles]
[Cracks Neck]
OKAY! Gather around children. Let me tell you about a scan.
The Aria Card
You sign up for the Aria card. It's a credit card. On the front page of the website was a nice little blub. 2,000 dollars credit line, no credit check, 2.9%, perfect for people trying to rebuild their credit*
*checking about five links deep you find the actual contract.
There are four versions of the Aria card. We will decide which version you get.
YOU WILL GET:
A 500 dollar limit and 29.99% interest rate
A $259.00 sign-up fee.
A $259.00 deposit for late fees and over-limit fees. BTW, Overlimit fees and Late fees
All $518.00 must be paid upon applying for the card. if you don't pay us 518.00 (and it MUST be a money order or bank draft or payment by Western Union, NO CHECK OR CC) it will be charged to your BRAND NEW Aria credit card.
WHOOPS!! You are now over limit!
You get hit with another 59 dollars charged to your credit card.
ALL THESE CHARGES ARE AS CASH ADVANCES. That's an extra 10.99% interest over base. Oh, all cash advances have a 5 dollar processing fee.
BUT wait! YOU ARE OVER LIMIT! That's a 10.99% penalty until you get it back under 500 dollars.
Your interest is now 51.97%
You owe 582.00.
OH BY THE WAY!
Your first payment is due in 25 days. Your first billing statement is sent out in 45 days. If you miss your first payment, you will get one warning, then we will suspend your account and stop sending you billing statements.
Oh... wait... aren't you already overlimit? I GUESS YOU ALREADY USED UP YOUR FIRST WARNING.
If you don't pay your bill, which you have not gotten because you don't even know you are approved or even owe any money, your card will be suspended.
EVERY MONTH YOU WILL BE HIT WITH AN OVERLIMIT AND LATE PENALTY. That's 118 dollars BUT WAIT! Each is a cash advance, so tack on another 10 dollars That's another 118 dollars you owe.
Let's IGNORE THAT ALL THIS IS AT 51.97% interest compounded DAILY because that math gets annoying REAL QUICK.
Your account, which you will not get a bill for, so you don't even know you owe money, will exist for another 5 months past that, at which point LEGALLY the bank is required to charge the debt off and send it off to collections. About six months later, it'd be on your credit report and the collections agency we hired would be calling.
SO... you sign up for the card, and assuming that the 51.97% interest wasn't calculated DAILY, you would LEGALLY owe $1,350.00 because you didn't sign the fine print,
Now, you must be saying to yourself, this ain't legal! And you would be right... TODAY. Back when I designed this card, I went over the federal laws with a fine tooth comb. EVERYTHING WAS LEGAL. I just took the maximum penalty as allowed by law and combined them in a way no sane bank would allow. We also charged you for the cost of collections, so we'd charge on an extra 40% at the end there.
If I remember correctly, I think it was $2622 was the amount we would send as a bill.
Then if you called in, we'd explain how you got screwed, but that's y EVAL BOSSES. NUT ME! I'Z GOOD BILL COLLECTOR!!! If you pay just 30%, I'll take that as Paid in full and wipe the rest of the debt! I PROMISE! I PUT IT IN WRITING!. I'll even break it down into 6 easy payments of 131.10 for six months!
If you don't pay, we write it off on taxes, which means we get back about 25% of the money we write off back as refunded tax dollars. So we spend money maintaining the webste and paying bill collectors and get back 655 dollars from the government for every sucker that signs up. THEN we wait another year and SELL YOU for pennies on the dollar to ANOTHER collection agency, usually getting back another 3%.
734 dollars, in the bank's coffers,
For. Doing. NOTHING.
Now, THAT is how you SCAM people!
100% legal... back then.... when I was pure evil and wanted to destroy all life on the planet.
Good times... Good times...
[Cracks Neck]
OKAY! Gather around children. Let me tell you about a scan.
The Aria Card
You sign up for the Aria card. It's a credit card. On the front page of the website was a nice little blub. 2,000 dollars credit line, no credit check, 2.9%, perfect for people trying to rebuild their credit*
*checking about five links deep you find the actual contract.
There are four versions of the Aria card. We will decide which version you get.
YOU WILL GET:
A 500 dollar limit and 29.99% interest rate
A $259.00 sign-up fee.
A $259.00 deposit for late fees and over-limit fees. BTW, Overlimit fees and Late fees
All $518.00 must be paid upon applying for the card. if you don't pay us 518.00 (and it MUST be a money order or bank draft or payment by Western Union, NO CHECK OR CC) it will be charged to your BRAND NEW Aria credit card.
WHOOPS!! You are now over limit!
You get hit with another 59 dollars charged to your credit card.
ALL THESE CHARGES ARE AS CASH ADVANCES. That's an extra 10.99% interest over base. Oh, all cash advances have a 5 dollar processing fee.
BUT wait! YOU ARE OVER LIMIT! That's a 10.99% penalty until you get it back under 500 dollars.
Your interest is now 51.97%
You owe 582.00.
OH BY THE WAY!
Your first payment is due in 25 days. Your first billing statement is sent out in 45 days. If you miss your first payment, you will get one warning, then we will suspend your account and stop sending you billing statements.
Oh... wait... aren't you already overlimit? I GUESS YOU ALREADY USED UP YOUR FIRST WARNING.
If you don't pay your bill, which you have not gotten because you don't even know you are approved or even owe any money, your card will be suspended.
EVERY MONTH YOU WILL BE HIT WITH AN OVERLIMIT AND LATE PENALTY. That's 118 dollars BUT WAIT! Each is a cash advance, so tack on another 10 dollars That's another 118 dollars you owe.
Let's IGNORE THAT ALL THIS IS AT 51.97% interest compounded DAILY because that math gets annoying REAL QUICK.
Your account, which you will not get a bill for, so you don't even know you owe money, will exist for another 5 months past that, at which point LEGALLY the bank is required to charge the debt off and send it off to collections. About six months later, it'd be on your credit report and the collections agency we hired would be calling.
SO... you sign up for the card, and assuming that the 51.97% interest wasn't calculated DAILY, you would LEGALLY owe $1,350.00 because you didn't sign the fine print,
Now, you must be saying to yourself, this ain't legal! And you would be right... TODAY. Back when I designed this card, I went over the federal laws with a fine tooth comb. EVERYTHING WAS LEGAL. I just took the maximum penalty as allowed by law and combined them in a way no sane bank would allow. We also charged you for the cost of collections, so we'd charge on an extra 40% at the end there.
If I remember correctly, I think it was $2622 was the amount we would send as a bill.
Then if you called in, we'd explain how you got screwed, but that's y EVAL BOSSES. NUT ME! I'Z GOOD BILL COLLECTOR!!! If you pay just 30%, I'll take that as Paid in full and wipe the rest of the debt! I PROMISE! I PUT IT IN WRITING!. I'll even break it down into 6 easy payments of 131.10 for six months!
If you don't pay, we write it off on taxes, which means we get back about 25% of the money we write off back as refunded tax dollars. So we spend money maintaining the webste and paying bill collectors and get back 655 dollars from the government for every sucker that signs up. THEN we wait another year and SELL YOU for pennies on the dollar to ANOTHER collection agency, usually getting back another 3%.
734 dollars, in the bank's coffers,
For. Doing. NOTHING.
Now, THAT is how you SCAM people!
100% legal... back then.... when I was pure evil and wanted to destroy all life on the planet.
Good times... Good times...