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[THIS POST HAS BEEN CONSUMED BY THE VOID]

Back in high school I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. All I knew was that I loved dogs, so when the school guidance counselors asked what career I was aiming for, I said, I dunno, maybe a vet? The closest thing they had to a veterinary class was agriculture science, so I signed...

A really boring agriculture class in high school. I could either listen to my teacher explain the differences between all the different kinds of cows, or I could start writing this really awful awesome idea for a book I'd just had.

In The Gray Ranger, the dominant religion worships a deity who came down from heaven to reinstate the natural order when chaos was on the verge of destroying the world, so they put a lot of emphasis on keeping things orderly, everything being exactly where and how it should be, etc. I never got...

I'm having trouble naming something. I need a male first name that sounds cool and old fashioned. Something that sounds intimidating and fits a Victorian-esque title like Lord [Firstname], like Tiberius, Darius, or Varek. Nothing made up, real first names only. Any suggestions?

I'll DM you my PayPal info.

申し訳ありませんが、私はフランス語を話せません。

I always tried to do both. Scare them, then make them laugh. I always played the insane redneck, and I had a whole routine. "Howdy! My name's Fred! I like puppies, and ponies, and LSD, and HDTV! Will you be my friend? I said WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?!" "Welcome to the slaughterhouse, folks! You...

Drunk people are almost impossible to scare. The rule at my place was to not even try. Instead, make them laugh. Crack them up once, and they'll laugh their way through the whole haunt.

Up until a few years ago, I used to spend every October working at one of the local haunted houses. Then adulthood got in the way, and I just didn't have the energy to spend my days working a full time job and my nights scaring people in a hot rubber mask. It was volunteer work, with the money...

You should talk to your doctor about these hallucinations.

Avatar: The Last Airbender. It had three good seasons and an amazing ending, but I'm a little sad they never decided to do anything else with the series after that. No followup series, no live action movies, no remakes, nothing. What a waste of potential.

I like it when no single character acts as the moral compass. Everyone can be right and wrong about different things, which lets their personalities play off of each other in interesting ways without any of them necessarily being the bad guy. Like, in Henry Rider, Henry is totally devoted to...

A skyscraper-sized redneck fish monster with a mullet and a wifebeater named Daggum the Y'alldritch Horror. I was so proud of that joke that I put him on the book's cover.

Depends on what you consider to be my first attempt at writing. Do you mean the very first book I ever tried to write when I was seven years old? It was called Terry Traxter and the Secret of the Dragon's Nose. I was obsessed with Harry Potter, but my parents were firmly in the "Harry Potter is...

I just wanted to see what it would say...

I learned that Hocus Pocus is my least favorite movie in the world.