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Chapter 2 was okay overall. I was a little confused at first because of the POV shift, but it doesn’t take long to get oriented. One thing that threw me off: the boy’s body “fails” him during the escape, but later John seems able to run in that same body. Maybe I missed a detail, but it read as...

Hey again! To be clear: I read the prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and Chapter 19. Quick note before I start: I’m a beginner myself, so feel free to take this with some skepticism, it’s just one reader’s reaction. Regarding the first three chapters: Honestly, the first three chapters...

Hey! Where can I read the story? Am I missing something? Or are we suposed to comment on the premise?

Appreciate it! This helps more than you think ?

Hi everyone! I’m currently working on improving my writing, especially immersion and “show vs. tell." I’ve been told my prose can feel a bit too “told” and not immersive enough, so I’d love feedback with that focus in mind. Any notes on what pulls you in (or breaks immersion) would be really...

Thank you very much. This helps a lot!

Hey, I've read the first chapter briefly and there are a lot of things you have to work on. First of all you've got big energy and a clear intention, with a solid skeleton. 1.) Your biggest problem is sentence control and readability. A lot of your opening paragraphs are run-on sentences with...

Chapter 1: Don't Blink The kicks that had been raining down on Levin only moments ago began to lose their weight. The men’s screams grew duller, until they faded out completely. When he opened his eyes, there was only darkness. His hand twitched as he tried to push himself up—but that...

I’m also a newer writer, so take this with a grain of salt — but right now this reads more like a teaser/synopsis than a fully lived-in scene. The ideas are cool, but I had trouble visualizing the choreography and where everyone is positioned. A bit more grounding in the environment would help a...

Hahahha. I'll definetily check out Strunk and White. Thank you for your time.

As you might have noticed, I'm not very experienced. I'd love to know, where you saw the traces of AI. And should I ask AI for feedback? Sometimes I'm happy with a scene, but AI tells me its bad.

It is. I'm not a native speaker so I write the draft in my native language and then translate it, to some extent at least. I'm working on my english writing. (I accidentally clicked reply twice, dont know how to undo it :))

Thanks for your help!

I'd be pretty happy to get some feedback on the beginning of my novel. This probably won't be the final product, so feedback is very much appreciated. The kicks that had been raining down on him just moments ago began to fade. The screams of the men grew muffled, but their faces burned...

This is the beginning of my novel, I just wanna know if it's readable at all. The kicks that had been raining down on him just moments ago began to fade. The screams of the men grew muffled, but their faces burned themselves into Levin’s eyes. When he opened his eyes again, he saw nothing...