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Mating season. I can set/change a creature's mating season.

Create slippery banana peels.

Banana teleportation. The ability to teleport to the closest banana.

Just in case... I need it to be absolute.

The power to bonk the horny people throw the screen.

Death was the only option.

Spin the wheel... Every time I spin a wheel of any kind something random happens. (Examples: gender swap, humans died out, cars never invented, gravity flipped, sun implodes, everybody gets superpowers, I die.)

Mom, I hate to do this but it's my job... Have you tried to try harder? I can't if horny or not... So I'll give you a warning. And confiscate the cat.

But for every sacrifice, the chances of winning are lessened.

No horny = peace.

But it only works when nude...

Nooooooooo, I am a useless talking monkey... Wait a minute...

A body that obliterates anything unnatural or invasive. (examples: magic, skills, curses, Pokemon, dragon breath, mermaid tear, sickness, stabby stab, poison, mind arts, talking puppets.)

Still be traumatizing...

But to unlock the skill you must first permanently obliterate the people close to you.

Every time you copy ability you permanently lose a body part. (Permanently = never coming back even if you try to replace it with an artificial one or rewind time.)

But everybody within 15 feet of you has super bad luck

Every use causes one to die...