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Deja vu I've just been in this place before

link For me, it was honestly pretty pepega. I am definitely not the target audience. First chapter was pretty rough. Example: 'Zukyuun~! shley felt when she got the response. Master sure is a feminist.' Zukyuun is probably fine as readers of this kind of story could probably understand and...

Surprisingly, a pretty good list considering that it supposedly doesn't include creatures from modern fantasy fiction. I was still kind of disappointed though as I was expecting a lot more interesting designs. Still it's got me thinking, what are the benefits of designing your own creature...

Yeah the queen would've assimilated by then, I was just suggesting other options if you wanted her being foreign to become a bigger plot point other than outright telling it to the reader. The fight fight is relevant, I don't deny that, and it is probably the right time for the villain to strike...

My feedback is quite questionable. I was quite tired towards the end of my feedback, please excuse me. If you disagree with anything, please do reply.

What kind of advice are you asking for? I doubt the readers would care or even notice if characters talking in the constructed language were grammatically sound as these languages often break grammatical rules. If most of the characters talk in that language, I would imagine it would be a...

Never mind I found it: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/7167/my-travels-through-another-world-a-dragons-tail It hasn't been updated for at least 2 years though :( @BenJepheneT @zivoy @FireflyFanatic

I prefer the third one. It may not show as much as the first one, but it presents relevant plot points in an interesting way. Most of the first synopsis is the prologue and first chapter anyway. The average reader would at least read those if they were interested in the story. Past that point...

Then do you know which site you found it on?

Is this on NU?

Could you post the outlines under spoiler buttons anyway? I feel that the 'elf and the reincarnated wolf' would be the most difficult one, but it certainly is the most interesting one as the others are kind of generic (?). From what I can currently tell, they all lack a core narrative direction...

Honestly, nobody really cares about grammar unless it makes it unreadable/ impacts the reading experience. People are also allowed to break some grammatical rules to improve other aspects of their work, but I don't really recommend anyone doing it unless they know what they're doing and have...

For some reason I thought I was going to be reading a really unique and refreshing take on the genre, but it was a pretty generic demon lord story. That is totally fine and probably what you set out to do (the demon lord trope minus the things that you said), but at the current stage I can't...

The synopsis does not match the premise/the tone of the story. From what I have read, I assume the story is about Adam using the powers of heroes to do the Goddesses work in different dimensions. I assume the main hooks/promises to the reader are an OP protagonist and exploring the worlds of...

Thank you for the feedback! Yeah I think that would be an interesting idea to take the story towards. I would have to do a lot of plotting though. I agree that putting a period would help the flow. I don't really understand the flutter and doves part though as birds can flutter I attributed...

Into Winter I wrote this in one and a half hours today, before my brain melted, so it is currently unedited. It also doesn't have any plot planned currently and is very short. There are some questions I would like to ask about it: Does it seems like there is a plot? Does it work like an opening...

It is quite exposition heavy which doesn't really work for such a tense moment where Fredrick should be under quite a lot of psychological / physcial duress. I think this ruins the flow of the text. If this was the beginning of the story, it would benefit more by not revealing things. For...

What I found annoying was the writing style and it's just my opinion so if people enjoy it then there is nothing to change. My second point was yes there are all powerful beings that blush and act cutesy, there are also people who say "you look cute, lets have sex", but would an all powerful...

I have written the simpler plots at the start and more advanced plots near the end. The standard progression from this point onwards is typically as follows (in other words these ideas have all been done before): The protagonist goes to the world with nothing (hard mode) The Goddess follows...

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/39439/riftela-a-beginning-of-a-lifetimebook-/ The grammar was pretty awful from just the first 2 sentences and it seems like a pretty generic story from the synopsis. You should probably work on your fundamentals as it is hard to give in-depth advice to this...