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I mean his bio and ability block is not as clearly written as hers

Not completely clear what you are doing with Fritz. Vanessa seems interesting and fairly-well thought out (though really the execution will ultimately be far more important than the concept).

Well, "traditionally" a top hat and a stove-pipe hat are the same thing except the latter is taller so a tall top hat may not be too redundant.

Gut feeling: The class sounds a lot like the D&D class called a "Warlock" and the setting a lot like the background material for the old AD&D Birthright setting (there was a war between the gods, the world was thrown into upheaval - some mortals wound up replacing gods, others wound up tied to...

How well does this model work? I toyed with the idea of having "alternate, adult" versions of some chapters behind a paywall and more "family friendly" stuff as the "baseline" but have not yet tried it.

I suppose you could create a word like "Twists," as a reference to one of the most famous orphans, Oliver Twist.

Thanks (both for the review and, especially, for this comment). I wrote that paragraph about a month or so before I started writing the story to go with it. Don't even remember where it came from but just came up with it one night, kept thinking about it, and came up with the story to go with...

One of my roommates in Chicago was friends with a meteorologist. His friend claimed that "We are 99.9999998% accurate. For the next hour. The error rate goes up exponentially for every hour past that, so after about three or four days we really are just guessing." From what I hear, the...

If you feel like looking at one or both of mine, please do but if not, no biggie. Strange Awakening (Does have a bit of a romance angle starting in CH 4 - not a main theme but present for ... well the rest of what I have written, 18 chapters, but until either tonight or tomorrow, only have five...

A British novel series - I believe there were three books published in England but only two made it to the US. One of my friends stumbled on it in high school and made all of us read it. Kind of an Urban Fantasy version of Peter Pan - orphaned kids who only grow up if they choose to and who...

Borribles?

I'm considering getting a pre-paid debit card for these things. Supposedly, most of them work the same as a bank account, even having routing numbers and such. And I would suggest waiting until you have five chapters you are happy with and posting them all on one site one day, the other the...

Has anyone done a novel based on the Sister Wives show? :D

Seems a bit redundant and more yeah, like a sales pitch/jacket blurb than an opener. Pare it down a bit and probably but it repeats and rambles right now.

It sounds a lot like the Powers system in "My Vampire System" - the wealthy, the military and some corporations have Abilities nobody else does, the military shares its abilities with recruits who have none, and actively recruits people with them. Corporations do their own thing. And there are...

Ah yes, the things you can do when you can afford to buy and sell politicians... :(

Wow, forgot about that one. The Native American Thunderbird has a lot of different descriptions but most show it with some red feathers. Quetzalcoatl allegedly manifested as a red bird or a rainbow colored serpent with red wings, so might count (as well as the dinosaur called "Quetzalcoatlus"...

The first three and fifth books are great. Four was a little disappointing, six so forgettable that I do not remember any of it, and the final book (The Last Battle IIRC) was just kind of weak (or were there only six and my memory is playing games with me?). If we are talking classic stuff and...

I THINK the specific issue is "stories where guy is reborn as a girl but continues to act like a guy, especially in terms of sexuality" - which there does seem to be an awful lot of.

If something like this were ever finished, it would PROBABLY be able to get by on the "parody exception" - but should make a "reasonable effort" to obtain permission. But right now this is just an open exercise for anyone to take part in here for fun.